horizontal mambo (if ya know what I mean.....)

mina_mina1 · May 2012

So I had a VERY difficult delivery where my hubby and I couldnt, ya know, until my baby was like 5 months old. Needless to say thats an important part of any relationship and marriage. So now we are trying to get back into a rhythm again along with all our new baby responsibilites (I use the word "our" lightly, you know the mommies end up doing most baby related duties) and bills, and being a working mom and recently our apt burned down (yeah, the last 6 months have really sucked) my hubby tells me today he is really frustrated we arent how we used to be anymore, that he hears other couples at work talk about how often they engage in the horizontal mambo and he is frustrated I am not trying enough. I will admit I dont try nearly enough as before, for sure, but its obviously not completely out of my mind anymore, it just doesnt make the top 3 of my priorities, especially when I come home and become full of carrot spitup and all these wonderful things. Be real ladies, am I being unreasonable or what should I do??? Our marriage has been through so much and I am not going to let THIS be the hardest part of it (pun NOT intended)......advice???

-tired and frustrated

Fianschneid · May 2012

Yes, it is an important part of your marriage and yes you (meaning both of you) should try to work on it. That being said you (meaning both of you) should also work on distributing some household responsibilities more evenly.

You say that "you know the mommies end up doing most baby related duties" but in our household, that isn't completely true. DH helps make bottles, entertains DD, changes diapers. I get up with her early and drive her to and from daycare. The rest is even Steven.

It might be time to have a sit down with your DH about your partnership across the board. Tell him you'd have more energy for the mambo if you had a little more help with LO and start laying the ground work.

jonnygurl76 · May 2012

First of all it is called sex and no one on this board is going to hand you your libido back. You need to talk to your husband and figure out what you need from him and from your relationship to get it where you want it to be.

mina_mina1 · May 2012

my hubby and I joke around and call it the "horizontal mambo" to be silly and I just thought to mention it that way, of course I know its called sex and I am not ashamed about that, was just trying to be funny

I do appreciate the support however and can start to see that maybe my hubby is getting awfully comfortable with the fact that I am control freak and I like doing everything bc I like the way I do things but then I am exhausted physically and emotionally, so with your comments I am starting to see the changes I need to do myself as well and delegate, delegate, delegate.....thanks for the advice ladies, even the blunt ones!

desando · May 2012

First of all, you are not alone. It is not at the top of my list now a days (once upon a time it consumed most of my waking moments). I am tired and feel more like a mom then a sexy woman. That being said you can have sexy time with out have traditional sex until you feel more comfortable. You do have to make some time for it (she preaches to herself).

All that being said I do think it is F-ed up that we (the ladies) are supposed to accept when our men are freaked out by having sex with us when we are pregnant and then just give in when they want sex after the baby is here. It not really fair that their needs/ feeling in the sex area gets more credence. But that's just my 2 cents.

jeanniez · May 2012

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be Embarrassed My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board Wink

Liz4444 · May 2012

desando:

First of all, you are not alone. It is not at the top of my list now a days (once upon a time it consumed most of my waking moments). I am tired and feel more like a mom then a sexy woman. That being said you can have sexy time with out have traditional sex until you feel more comfortable. You do have to make some time for it (she preaches to herself).

All that being said I do think it is F-ed up that we (the ladies) are supposed to accept when our men are freaked out by having sex with us when we are pregnant and then just give in when they want sex after the baby is here. It not really fair that their needs/ feeling in the sex area gets more credence. But that's just my 2 cents.

DH was never freaked out by having sex when I was pregnant... Is everything the same as it was before I was pregnant, absolutely not, but our life is different.

And, DH and I are absolutely 50/50 when it comes to taking care of the baby, I would never put up with anything less.

Liz4444 · May 2012

jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

jonnygurl76 · May 2012

OP is that your nip we see in your avatar?

tmadden · May 2012

I struggle with this, too. My husband puts the moves on me fairly frequently and most often my response (at least internally) these days is "Are you freaking kidding me?! Do you have any idea how tired I am, etc., etc." It's not that I don't like or want sex anymore, it's just low down the pole at this point. Part of it is hormones, I'm sure - my body is more worried about producing enough breast milk than it is about making sure my husband is happy. My only advice is to be frank, to let your hubby know it isn't always going to be like this, but that, yes, this is how it is right now. That being said, I've gone with it on ocassion when it's the last thing I feel like doing, and I think that's important, too.

jonnygurl76 · May 2012

Liz4444:
jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

I was wondering this myself, "horizontal mambo" is super Klassy.

joolz17 · May 2012

Liz4444:
jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

I have the same question. But perhaps referring to something by its proper name is not classy?

blu-eyedwife · May 2012

Where does your husband work that they talk about how often they have sex? Conversations like that never happen in my office and if they did at my husband's office he would probably head for the nearest door.

pearblossom · May 2012

blu-eyedwife:
Where does your husband work that they talk about how often they have sex? Conversations like that never happen in my office and if they did at my husband's office he would probably head for the nearest door.

If you need to go to work and brag about your sex life you're probably lying.

Liz4444 · May 2012

blu-eyedwife:
Where does your husband work that they talk about how often they have sex? Conversations like that never happen in my office and if they did at my husband's office he would probably head for the nearest door.

We used to talk about sex in my office all of the time, complete with demonstrations when needed. I guess that's what you get for working in fashion with a bunch of gay men...

Liz4444 · May 2012

damn bump

shediva1 · May 2012

pearblossom:
blu-eyedwife:
Where does your husband work that they talk about how often they have sex? Conversations like that never happen in my office and if they did at my husband's office he would probably head for the nearest door.
If you need to go to work and brag about your sex life you're probably lying.

Exactly!

hunnybunny614 · May 2012

This thread is cracking me up. Can't tell if it's September 2012 mud or real. In the off chance it's real, things got much better when DH started pitching in.

Liz4444 · May 2012

crystalbaby:

Now that's class!

shediva1 · May 2012

Liz4444:
crystalbaby:

Now that's class!

Vertical Cha Cha?

Liz4444 · May 2012

jeanniez · May 2012

joolz17:
Liz4444:
jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

I have the same question. But perhaps referring to something by its proper name is not classy?

Calling it sex is not un classy, per se, but this board is not known for it's class. Op was just trying to not be so crass. The fact that I have so many comments shows me I hit a nerve. Hmmmm.... that usually means I'm right and you're embarrassed. People tend to hate most when others point out that which they want to change in themselves.

Good luck in this endevor, pp, all my best. (It does help that I was raised by good, honest, sophisticated people. If you were too, it will make it easier. If not, hard work and/or a good teacher and you'll get there, no need to take out your fustrations on me Wink )

CMonkey515 · May 2012

jeanniez:
joolz17:
Liz4444:
jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

I have the same question. But perhaps referring to something by its proper name is not classy?

Calling it sex is not un classy, per se, but this board is not known for it's class. Op was just trying to not be so crass. The fact that I have so many comments shows me I hit a nerve. Hmmmm.... that usually means I'm right and you're embarrassed. People tend to hate most when others point out that which they want to change in themselves.

Good luck in this endevor, pp, all my best. (It does help that I was raised by good, honest, sophistacted people. If you were too, it will make it easier. If not, hard work and/or a good teacher and you'll get there, no need to take out your fustrations on me)

Wait...what? Calling sex by it's proper name is the opposite of crass. So I'm not sure where you're going with that. Also, the fact that got so many comments on your post is because it was a silly thing to say, not because you hit a nerve and "embarrassed" anyone.

thetheisens · May 2012

jeanniez:
joolz17:
Liz4444:
jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

I have the same question. But perhaps referring to something by its proper name is not classy?

Calling it sex is not un classy, per se, but this board is not known for it's class. Op was just trying to not be so crass. The fact that I have so many comments shows me I hit a nerve. Hmmmm.... that usually means I'm right and you're embarrassed. People tend to hate most when others point out that which they want to change in themselves.

Good luck in this endevor, pp, all my best. (It does help that I was raised by good, honest, sophistacted people. If you were too, it will make it easier. If not, hard work and/or a good teacher and you'll get there, no need to take out your fustrations on me)

LOL. Do you ever lurk on this board?? I doubt any of the ladies who commented on your post are embarrassed in the least.

Liz4444 · May 2012

jeanniez:
joolz17:
Liz4444:
jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

I have the same question. But perhaps referring to something by its proper name is not classy?

Calling it sex is not un classy, per se, but this board is not known for it's class. Op was just trying to not be so crass. The fact that I have so many comments shows me I hit a nerve. Hmmmm.... that usually means I'm right and you're embarrassed. People tend to hate most when others point out that which they want to change in themselves.

Good luck in this endevor, pp, all my best. (It does help that I was raised by good, honest, sophistacted people. If you were too, it will make it easier. If not, hard work and/or a good teacher and you'll get there, no need to take out your fustrations on me)

I must be low class and stupid because you're not making a lick of sense.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

How dare you imply that my mother isn't sophistacted. She' the definition of a sophistact.

Liz4444 · May 2012

overture:
How dare you imply that my mother isn't sophistacted. She' the definition of a sophistact.

Don't lie... here's a pic of O's parents...

cantalopes24 · May 2012

crystalbaby:

I think that soul patches are classy and sophisticated. You ladies are just jealous!

::DED::

I can't wait to tell my blazer wearing, country club going, uptight, type A mom she is both crass and unsophisticated! She uses the S-E-X word.

*runs off gasping and clutching pearls*

joolz17 · May 2012

Liz4444:
jeanniez:
joolz17:
Liz4444:
jeanniez:

Just want you to know you're not the only one that hasn't gone back to the way they used to be My hubby feels the same as yours. We just keep trying.

Also I like that you called it the horizontal mambo. I know we are all adults here (or should be) but a little class never hurts. Thanks for adding some to this board

How exactly does calling sex "sex" indicate a lack of class?

I have the same question. But perhaps referring to something by its proper name is not classy?

Calling it sex is not un classy, per se, but this board is not known for it's class. Op was just trying to not be so crass. The fact that I have so many comments shows me I hit a nerve. Hmmmm.... that usually means I'm right and you're embarrassed. People tend to hate most when others point out that which they want to change in themselves.

Good luck in this endevor, pp, all my best. (It does help that I was raised by good, honest, sophistacted people. If you were too, it will make it easier. If not, hard work and/or a good teacher and you'll get there, no need to take out your fustrations on me)

I must be low class and stupid because you're not making a lick of sense.

I'm not sure I'm following either, probably due to my lack of sophistaction and general fustrations.

I'm still not sure what's embarrassing or dishonest about referring to sex as sex.

Liz4444 · May 2012

cantalopes24:
crystalbaby:

I think that soul patches are classy and sophisticated. You ladies are just jealous!

::DED::

I can't wait to tell my blazer wearing, country club going, uptight, type A mom she is both crass and unsophisticated! She uses the S-E-X word.

*runs off gasping and clutching pearls*

My golf shirt wearing, country club going mom would never use the "S" word, she must be so upset she raised a heathen.

**Stands in the middle of the thread twirling my bra above my head**

joolz17 · May 2012

crystalbaby:
Liz4444:

**Stands in the middle of the thread twirling my bra above my head**

Uncanny!

cantalopes24 · May 2012

Liz4444:
cantalopes24:
crystalbaby:

I think that soul patches are classy and sophisticated. You ladies are just jealous!

::DED::

I can't wait to tell my blazer wearing, country club going, uptight, type A mom she is both crass and unsophisticated! She uses the S-E-X word.

*runs off gasping and clutching pearls*

My golf shirt wearing, country club going mom would never use the "S" word, she must be so upset she raised a heathen.

**Stands in the middle of the thread twirling my bra above my head**

Ew. She should be more upset she's so tacky.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

WineBaby22:
It's because we drink boxed wine, isn't it?!
Can you point me in the direction of the classy boards? I need to get myself a-learnin'!

Sit down, Danes. Don't you dare.

We all saw that 7 am tailgating picture...I will enter it as exhibit A to any board you try to leave us for.

Liz4444 · May 2012

crystalbaby:
Liz4444:

**Stands in the middle of the thread twirling my bra above my head**

Clearly not me, she's wearing a cross!

cantalopes24 · May 2012

crystalbaby:
Liz, it's not a cross, it's an ankh. "It represents the male triad and the female unit." Obviously, you would be okay with wearing that.

I thought the man had the unit?

[Deleted User] · May 2012

crystalbaby:
Liz, it's not a cross, it's an ankh. "It represents the male triad and the female unit." Obviously, you would be okay with wearing that.

This means cockandballs, right?

Liz4444 · May 2012

crystalbaby:
Liz, it's not a cross, it's an ankh. "It represents the male triad and the female unit." Obviously, you would be okay with wearing that.

Clearly, that's ok.

cantalopes24 · May 2012

crystalbaby:
overture:

crystalbaby:
Liz, it's not a cross, it's an ankh. "It represents the male triad and the female unit." Obviously, you would be okay with wearing that.

This means cockandballs, right?

What else would it mean?

And Lopes, my vag is totally a unit.

Mine is usually referred to as heaven.

pearblossom · May 2012

jeanniez:
Calling it sex is not un classy, per se, but this board is not known for it's class. Op was just trying to not be so crass. The fact that I have so many comments shows me I hit a nerve. Hmmmm.... that usually means I'm right and you're embarrassed. People tend to hate most when others point out that which they want to change in themselves.

Good thing we have you and Mina to teach it to us through sexual euphemisms and deep thoughts from Pinterest.

Papps · May 2012

This thread is so full of win I don't know where to even begin Smile

Liz4444 · May 2012

Papps:
This thread is so full of win I don't know where to even begin

Join me in bra twirling!

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