So sad. Canceled again.

AmCheri · May 2012

I tried to do everything right this cycle. Still I end up with 4 follicles that didn't respond at all. They never budged. I have two 13's so we'll go a few more days and convert.

The writing is on the wall, isn't it? My highest FSH is 11.2. My AMH fell to 0.8. My AFC is 6. It looks like using my OE just isn't in our future. I just don't know how to make peace with DE. I want to and I need to. All we want is a family, a child to love. That's all. You're supposed to get that. You're expected to get that.

Feeling broken and utterly defeated. Today is one of those days which leaves you wondering how much more can you take.

Mrs.McIrish · May 2012

I'm so sorry you are being cancelled. But I don't think it is over for your OE!! This may have just been a bad month to cycle. Some months our bodies respond better than others. As for DE, it is process to get there and not something you make peace with overnight. I did not want to do it last year but would do it in a heartbeat now but cannot financially swing it. Mourn this cycle and don't try to think ahead right now. Big hugs.

katezta · May 2012

I am so sorry. I was secondary IF, so I won't say that I know how you are feeling, but I did have cancellations.

IVF#1 for me was a m/c, FET a bfn, then a cancelled cycle converted to an IUI, then a full cancelled cycle. I switched protocols and was successful with microdose lupron and max menopur and gonal-f for my last cycle. I only have one ovary left, so my follie count was low.

I cried so much after the last cancellation. It was so hard. Nothing helped me, but taking a break (and an IF counselor or chocolate).

I hope you can find some peace as you get through the next few days. Hugs!

winofairy · May 2012

I am so sorry! big BIG (((HUGS)))

Mayan2011 · May 2012

I am so very sorry.

((hugs))

theworms · May 2012

((HUGS))

we've all been here wondering how much more we can take, it sucks.

i'm not sure which EPP you're doing but maybe a med tweak or trying SIRM EPP might make a difference.

Rachael07.07.07 · May 2012

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry that things aren't progressing the way you hoped. I know how frustrating it is. You will find your way, I know it. It's still not over yet though, so keep your head up hun! I'll be sending you lots of good thoughts!

DebateThis · May 2012

Sad

I am so sorry. None of this battle makes sense and I think that's what's the most frustrating part of all if it.

Faith722 · May 2012

I'm so sorry. I don't know why it can't be easier. Big hugs!!!

Aegis2005 · May 2012

I'm so sorry (((hugs)))

AmCheri · May 2012

Thanks everyone for your kind words. It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand.

I'm not ready to give up on my OE yet. We'll go again after one unmediated cycle.

Worms, I'll talk with my RE about possible tweaks. Both EPP cycles have been the same essentially. Estrogen starting 10 days after ovulation followed by three days of Ganirelix. Then stims (525iu Follistim) start on CD2.

Edwina.McDunnough · May 2012

I agree with McIrish. Also, I've had cancelled cycles (one follie!) and my best cycle (12 embryos!) B2B on the same protocol. If you're not ready to move on to DE yet I don't think it's absurd to keep trying. DE was an incredibly difficult thing for us to move on to, even though we had been researching and consulting for over a year at the time, and obviously it's not the magic bullet for everyone. HUGS and know that you have options still and that you don't have to rush into any decision.

Edwina.McDunnough · May 2012

AmCheri:
Thanks everyone for your kind words. It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand.
I'm not ready to give up on my OE yet. We'll go again after one unmediated cycle.
Worms, I'll talk with my RE about possible tweaks. Both EPP cycles have been the same essentially. Estrogen starting 10 days after ovulation followed by three days of Ganirelix. Then stims (525iu Follistim) start on CD2.

I PMed you a paper on the SIRM protocol. It has a wicked step down stim that starts sky high and is also an agonist suppression with antagonist stim. A different approach. I can think of a few people that have experience with it.

Mrkyrain · May 2012

I am so sorry hon. We have all had those days. Mourn this cycle, take a break and when you're ready head back in. It's not over until you decide it's over. I am a prime example of just trying one more time. It took me five IVF cycles (2 canceled) but here I am.

I know every body is different but the cycle that was successful for me I skipped the EPP and didn't do any early ganerelix. Just went straight into stims. It was super quick but I wonder if the EPP and early ganerelix were suppressing someone with major DOR too much. Just an idea.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. (hugs)

AmCheri · May 2012

Edwina.McDunnough:
AmCheri:
Thanks everyone for your kind words. It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand.
I'm not ready to give up on my OE yet. We'll go again after one unmediated cycle.
Worms, I'll talk with my RE about possible tweaks. Both EPP cycles have been the same essentially. Estrogen starting 10 days after ovulation followed by three days of Ganirelix. Then stims (525iu Follistim) start on CD2.
I PMed you a paper on the SIRM protocol. It has a wicked step down stim that starts sky high and is also an agonist suppression with antagonist stim. A different approach. I can think of a few people that have experience with it.

Thanks Edwina. Didn't realize you had PM'd it. Thanks for your help!

jessican08 · May 2012

I'm so sorry you were cancelled ((BIG HUGS)). I'm keeping everything crossed for you for your IUI.

babystinkbreath · May 2012

big hugs sweetie, hopefully you can make peace with whatever path your choose to move forward.

cookie_queen · May 2012

((hugs)) I'm so sorry sweets. I don't know why the journey has to be so hard sometimes.

XV11Star · May 2012

I am so sorry!! Thinking of you and sending you a hug... and I am glad you have some plans for moving forward.

Married071709 · May 2012

I'm so sorry.

((((Hugs)))) IF sucks!

lynn0926 · May 2012

Hugs hun! All of this is just so unfair. Like the other girls have said, mourn this cycle before thinking about what is next. DE is a process and you don't just wake up and say hey, I feel great about this. It takes time. Even while going through it you get a mix of emotions. All perfectly normal. You will know what it right for you after you process this and sort through your feelings.

njohnson1972 · May 2012

AmCheri:
Edwina.McDunnough:
AmCheri:
Thanks everyone for your kind words. It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand.
I'm not ready to give up on my OE yet. We'll go again after one unmediated cycle.
Worms, I'll talk with my RE about possible tweaks. Both EPP cycles have been the same essentially. Estrogen starting 10 days after ovulation followed by three days of Ganirelix. Then stims (525iu Follistim) start on CD2.
I PMed you a paper on the SIRM protocol. It has a wicked step down stim that starts sky high and is also an agonist suppression with antagonist stim. A different approach. I can think of a few people that have experience with it.
Thanks Edwina. Didn't realize you had PM'd it. Thanks for your help!

(((hugs)))

DOR sucks. I totally understand.

I did the SIRM EPP protocol. It worked for me and I got Jack.

I did it again for #2 and I only made 2 follies and a BFN. I think my ovaries are done. I am moving to DE.

Maybe it will be the trick you need.

mdluv21 · May 2012

Oh sweetie I am so sorry!

reb259 · May 2012

I am sorry. Big hugs!

illinigal · May 2012

Hugs. I'm so sorry. I know it is devastating to get IVF cancelled or converted to IUI. Still praying you get a miracle.

MandaS08 · May 2012

I'm so sorry! I can imagine how disappointing it is to be cancelled.

I really wouldn't give up on your OE yet-your AFC and AMH are close to mine and my RE has never suggested DE to me. This may just not have been your month.

HUGS!

softbalangel · May 2012

I'm so sorry you are being cancelled. ((hugs))

Jackie2200 · May 2012

I'm so sorry. Can your RE go aead with IVF even though you don't have alot of follies? Can you stim for a while longer?

For IVF#4, I had 4 follicles that barely did anything until like day 18 of stims. I stimmed for 21 days, and in the end, all the stimming fried my eggs and they only retrieved one but it is this baby I'm carrying now.

Your FSH really isn't that high so don't give up hope. My highest was 23.3. Age plays a big factor...ow old ar you? I'm 34.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's just not fair.

sarahtoledo · May 2012

I'm so sorry to hear this.

dancinaggie · May 2012

I'm so sorry

I know how frustrating it is to feel like you are doing every thing right, and sit there and watch your follies fail you. Your numbers are very similar to mine, I think you definitely still have hope with your OE. I'll be thinking of you, (((hugs))).

rockpaperlove · May 2012

My thoughts are with you and my heart pours out to you. I am so very sorry you are up against some big decisions. Many hugs and well wishes.

joules12 · May 2012

Oh, AmCheri!!! I'm so very, very sorry to hear this. I haven't been on the boards as much since my m/c, but your updates are among the ones I've been trying to follow. I've had everything crossed that this cycle would bring great news for you. Like PP have said, I really just hope that this month simply was an "off" one for your body. Our numbers (and, unfortunately, our IVF history) are pretty similar and another poor response is one of the things that's got me worried about doing another cycle. Sending you tons of good thoughts and many (((hugs)))!!!

annalisel · May 2012

I'm so sorry AmCheri. I think it would be tough to move on to DE after you came so close with your OE. I really hope that a slight tweaking of your protocol and another month is all you need to get your little miracle.

may2806 · May 2012

DE is a hard things to come to grips with. With your numbers I don't think it's out of the question to try again with your OE, but it's all about how much you can take. I got to a point where I just wanted a baby and it didn't matter so much how that happened. It was a big step and not something you can rush into.

((HUGS))

BeeBee08 · May 2012

I'm really sorry. Huge ((hugs)), it isn't fair that we have to go through this and we feel broken over and over again.

farmerlynda · May 2012

Nooo! My heart sank when I read this post. I'm so sorry for the cancellation. Thinking of you and hoping for better cycles with better responses to come.

(((hugs)))

blueberries8 · May 2012

(((hugs))) I am so sorry that this cycle didn't pan out, AmCheri. Thinking of you.

Mitzi Bishi · May 2012

You have such a tenacious spirit, which is a wonderful thing that you should be proud of.

I hope the doctors can figure something out to improve your chances through all of this. We're all here for you and hoping good news is on your side soon.

NMscubagirl · May 2012

Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this doll. That sucks so much. I am sending lots of comforting and positive thoughts your way and please let me know if there is anything I can do.