How do I start?
I am just now starting to think more seriously about adoption. I even had a dream about it the other night...in the dream it was much easier than in reality, I'm sure. But I was left with a sweet feeling of possibility. I have two of my own kids and love them to pieces. I just feel like there may be another baby out there that needs the family that we can provide. I'm not really sure how serious I am about adoption as far as starting the process with an agency or a lawyer or CPS. But, I recently found out that a student at a school I work at had an abortion and I feel like if I knew ahead of time, I might have been another option if she were interested in adoption.
So how do you know when to start possibly spreading the word? I know it's a personal decision...but I guess I feel like if something like that were to fall in my lap, I would absolutely go for it...but no one would know that I'm interested if I don't say something, right? I feel like I should wear a pin...
Any thoughts? Suggestions?
Re: How do I start?
When my mom and dad first thought adoption they were really nervous too but they found a good agent to help them out. Of course back then they didn't have the Internet. I think your first step is to do more research about adoption. I myself had gone to a couple websites to check it out more because my mom said that it takes about a year to even get your name on the list.
And yes start spreading the word. It'll help you find a good agency to go through as well as many other options that you can choose from for adoptions. My brother was adoption only...I was a fost-adopt child. My parents fostered me then their agent fought for me and they were able to adopt me.
Good luck!
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Check out our FAQ above for basic starting information including books which are helpful in the early stages.
Also, as a side... adoptive families are often sensitive to phrases such as "children of my own".... we see our kids as our OWN too... I am sure you can imagine how tough it is when a stranger sees my two daughters and says, oh.. is the littlest one your OWN? Um... they are both my own kids... and as if it matters, they are both mine through adoption.
I was going to point this out as well. I haven't adopted yet, but it's definitely in our future. I cringe when I hear people refer to biological children as their own children. I don't know if you're religious, but I highly recommend reading the book Adopted for Life! It really puts biological/adopted children in perspective.
On a side note, I doubt that the student you mentioned would have chosen adoption over abortion had you been advertising that you were seeking to adopt. It's possible, but the decision really isn't as easy as deciding to carry a child for 9 months and place the baby with an adoptive family. I have so much respect for birth parents because of the strength and resolve it takes to choose adoption for their baby! But realistically, approximately 1 in 3 pregnancies end in abortion and I don't think standing outside a clinic offering to take in babies will be too effective.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.