HELP me with the fussies! :( emotional and tired

Meowmamma007 · May 2012

my girl is just a week old and it has been a challenging week! We just left the hospital yesterday due to jaundice. Breastfeeding has been so challenging because i had an episiodomy and she came out with forceps. It hurts so bad to sit and nursing has been hard - also we had to go with a shield that is the only way she will feed.

so she has started this new thing where during the day she feeds every 3 hours then sleeps eat feed then she stays up all night wakes up every 30min to an hour. I I must have cried for four hours last night while feeding in so much pain not to mention by boobs hurt so bad when she feeds so that also makes me cry.. I get so exhausted time is tiking and i just know the whole dance is about to start again and i honestly don't know how i can get through it.

I'm trying so hard to perserve through this breatfeeding and tried to start pumping but it's difficult to keep up with pumping when i cherish those moments she is asleep for me to sleep and also i rarely have enough time between feedings to pump and have enough supply for her next feeding.

wowzers.. i'm wondering at what point will i give up. I feel like so much pressure from everyone nurses, baby daddy, his family to continue on but it's SO hard...

sorry to blab but any insight or input would be appreciated.

FamiliaGreen · May 2012

You can do it!

Babies cluster-feed, which is what you are experiencing at night. It is completely normal, and it will pass! It doesn't last forever!

Try using lanolin for the soreness, and also try side-nursing, which will help with the pain from your episiotomy. (You lay on your side and baby does too... no pressure on the butt/episiotomy) I had an episotomy and then a 4th degree peri-tear. You can make it!

If you are in pain you need to take medicine. I would take tylenol. It did wonders for me, and is fine for baby as well.

I would strongly suggest not pumping right now. Pumping doesn't get as much milk out as your LO can, and won't help your supply increase, which is what your LO (and you) need to get your milk supply to come in. My LC and OB both suggested not pumping until at least 5-6 weeks PP.

Ultimately it is your decision, but it does get better, and it is what is best for your baby. Hang in there!!

Eveamlizya · May 2012

DD had this same thing at that age...it's normal. They are getting over the exhaustion from the delivery and are getting adjusted to life outside of mommy...it's a big world out here and it's hard for them. Another week and she'll be SOOO much better. As far as breastfeeding, I completely understand wanting to give up...it hurts, you feel like a dairy cow, you can't get any sleep for a while cuz it's not like someone else can get up and feed LO...but if you're having a good supply, I would day stick it out to the 6 week mark and if you still feel like you don't want to do it, then don't feel bad about switching over or pumping. It does get better with time, trust me. I thought I'd never get through those first 2 weeks, but we're almost to week 6 and about to start pumping to get stocked up. You'll be fine...just hang in there! Good luck.

I had a c-section so I don't know the kind of pain you're in, but I do know that I was still hurting pretty bad even after I got my staples out at 1 week...you'll feel better in no time. If it's easier to stand than to sit, maybe find a carrier that you can breastfeed her in?

jenna3016 · May 2012

I had sharp pains in my nipples when I nursed E. The lactation consultant diagnosed me with thrush. E showed signs of thrush a couple of weeks later - he had a white coating on his tongue.

I used a topical Rx, and E was prescribed an oral medication. He also had a diaper rash from the yeast that had to be treated.

Hang in there, momma.

speckledfrog · May 2012

She is most likely going through a growth spurt. My LO did at 1 week as well. It lasted two or three nights (I can't remember). It was awful and I thought it would never end. There was a lot of late night sobbing in MH arms. What you can deal with at 6pm is a lot different than what you can deal with at 12am. Do what you need to do to get through it, it will be over soon.

Unless your lactation specialist is telling you to pump I wouldn't do it now. The clusterfeeding will help build your supply. My LC recommended starting to pump around 3 weeks, after my supply was established so I didn't end up with an oversupply issue. Definitely use her napping time to sleep. I credit getting lots of naps at the beginning with helping me not go completely crazy in those first two weeks.

Hang in there, momma!

joyfullyfound · May 2012

First of all, I love her name! It's beautiful

Ok, I remember feeling just like you are... it feels like it was just yesterday, but I guess it's been 2 months already! It'll get better REALLY soon... like, seriously, give it a couple more days... she'll start sleeping longer at night. During the day make noise, do what you want, talk to her, and keep her in well lit spaces. At night, keep the room dim and don't talk or stimulate her - just feed and back to bed. She'll figure it out pretty quick. If you're not opposed to bed sharing, that saved me. I wake up b/c she's rooting around, and I seriously just pop a boob in her mouth (side nursing) and fall back asleep... I get way more rest, and she sleeps a lot better close to me where she can feel my warmth and hear me breathe, etc.

As for the breastfeeding, I have a suggestion that saved my life! I had killer blisters after a few days, but then I discovered this breastfeeding position and it worked wonderfully! At the link I gave you there, it explains a little about the benefits, and at the bottom there are links to videos about it and more... Basically it's called laid back breastfeeding, and you lean back on a slight incline and lay LO tummy down on you, vertically (like, their feet towards your feet). Gravity pulls their head towards your breast, so they latch great - once I figured the position out, it's all we did for a few days. Then when I was brave enough to try something else again, my daughter latched great in any position... she'd just learned how. Now we could honestly nurse anywhere, in any position and we'd be great... I baked cookies the other day one-handed with her hanging on for dear life haha Dont try to force their head onto your nipple... just place them stomach down near your nipple and they'll start bobbig around trying to find it, at which point you can kinda help them along... it's great for building their head/neck strength.

I know it's easy for me to say now looking back, but I can promise you that it will get better really, really soon. You'll be fine. Just try that position, ok? And rub breastmilk and lanolin on those sore nipples

kel716 · May 2012

PP's gave some really good advice. It does get better- give it time.

Order some Motherlove Nipple Cream. Seriously, it's way better than any of the other lanonlin out there.

vserapio · May 2012

Lurker here... but I just want to share my story, for what is worth. I problems with breastfeeding my LO during our first 3 weeks, but like everyone says it will get better. I didn't think I would be able to continue with breastfeeding because my nipples were so sore and chapped, we had latching problems, and my emotions were just through the roof. We actually did end up supplementing for the first 2 weeks, it broke my heart I didn't think we'd be able to go back to BFing. But my LC and breastfeeding buddies here encouraged me to just keep offering the breast when he's hungry, if he latches, great. If not, then supplement. But keep trying with BFing. And I'm really glad I did! LO is 2 months now and we exclusively BF.

If your nipples are really bad, and the over the counter creams are not working for you, try to get your doctor/LC/someone to write a prescription for Mupirocin Ointment + Betaderm Ointment mixture - this works wonders! They worked within hours! I swear! I wish I can send this to anyone who complained of sore/chapped nipples, because you only need VERY LITTLE amount (I got the max amount on the prescription because I didn't know)

Good luck and hang in there!

p+rimmer · May 2012

Dear Emotional and tired,

con-grates on your little one! i had to have a c-section(my LO was nearly 10 lbs and vaginally he wasn't making his way into this world, and I am a petite woman) and was in lots of pain for several days(even through my dr. did a fantastic job stiching me up) and the pediatrian at the hospital thought my LO was going through some kind of diabetic issue since i had gestational diabetic issues and I had to start him on a bottle, he wasn't latching well i feel b/c we missed our immediate window to latch together. I insisted on giving him my breast milk first, so we had to pump and than feed, and unfortunitly until my milk came in give some formula. When we left the hospital 4 days later, I still attempted to breastfeed, he wasn't able to do so; I immediately that day told my husband we are going to the store to purchase a breast pump b/c our guy will have breast milk, even if I have to give it to him in a bottle. I could barely move and purchased a medela pump N style (wonderful pump=electric/battery=so you can pump anywhere=which I have=parkinglots, fitting rooms). For a few week I had to give my LO his feeding in a bottle. We eventually learned breastfeeding together with a shield and attempted without, but LO will not do. My point is...We as mother's sometimes just have to allow our game plan to change and see the positive in it all. Your little guy may have to get all his meals from a bottle or a few, everyone around you=needs to understand that you are his mother and that what works for them may not work for you. They need to support whatever decision you make. If you need sleep, than your partner or another family member should come and feed your LO at night or whenever you need to sleep, b/c your LO needs a mommy who can enjoy him; he'll only be this tiny for a short period of time & u want to enjoy the memories of the moments you two are together. My husband finally realized that my sleep is important too, when on my b-day of all days, I was hunched in a cornor crying holding our LO (I also cried ALL day, just sat nursing him and crying, and attempting to get him to sleep and crying) and I thought I was loosing my mind b/c I was sooooooooooo exhausted. He told me to go to bed, he'll give our LO breast milk I had freezed in a bottle (I was like, no. I need that for when I go back to work), that night, I cried myself to sleep. I realized that my LO is still getting the nutrients and antibodies and all the good stuff, even through, I may not have beeen able to breast feed him for every meal. My mother, who seemingly handled all 5 prenancies,breastfeeding, and fatigue appartently better than me...at times I feel she doesn't respect my choices in caring for my LO, but I come to realize that she made choices that worked for her and I have to make the ones that work for me, and my game plan is ever changing. I go back to work in 1 wk and informed my husband, that if my supply doesn't increase or if he has difficulty sleeping at night, we may have to go to some formula feeds also; I don't want to, but I need to take care of myself so I can take great care of him. You need to take care of YOUR SELF in order to care for your LO and to deeply be able to enjoy caring for your LO. The support people around you, need to respect your choices and offer more help. Hope this is helpful.

Meowmamma007 · May 2012

Thank you so much! I will and yes i don't want the pressure of pumping it makes sense i cant barely get enough for a feeding anyways sometimes nothing .. now to ween her off the shield

Meowmamma007 · May 2012

great advice! i'm going to look into the carrier

Meowmamma007 · May 2012

joyfullyfound:
First of all, I love her name! It's beautiful
Ok, I remember feeling just like you are... it feels like it was just yesterday, but I guess it's been 2 months already! It'll get better REALLY soon... like, seriously, give it a couple more days... she'll start sleeping longer at night. During the day make noise, do what you want, talk to her, and keep her in well lit spaces. At night, keep the room dim and don't talk or stimulate her - just feed and back to bed. She'll figure it out pretty quick. If you're not opposed to bed sharing, that saved me. I wake up b/c she's rooting around, and I seriously just pop a boob in her mouth (side nursing) and fall back asleep... I get way more rest, and she sleeps a lot better close to me where she can feel my warmth and hear me breathe, etc.
As for the breastfeeding, I have a suggestion that saved my life! I had killer blisters after a few days, but then I discovered this breastfeeding position and it worked wonderfully! At the link I gave you there, it explains a little about the benefits, and at the bottom there are links to videos about it and more... Basically it's called laid back breastfeeding, and you lean back on a slight incline and lay LO tummy down on you, vertically (like, their feet towards your feet). Gravity pulls their head towards your breast, so they latch great - once I figured the position out, it's all we did for a few days. Then when I was brave enough to try something else again, my daughter latched great in any position... she'd just learned how. Now we could honestly nurse anywhere, in any position and we'd be great... I baked cookies the other day one-handed with her hanging on for dear life haha Dont try to force their head onto your nipple... just place them stomach down near your nipple and they'll start bobbig around trying to find it, at which point you can kinda help them along... it's great for building their head/neck strength.
I know it's easy for me to say now looking back, but I can promise you that it will get better really, really soon. You'll be fine. Just try that position, ok? And rub breastmilk and lanolin on those sore nipples

I look forward to trying this! Thank you now all i need to do is ween her off the nipple shield!

Meowmamma007 · May 2012

p+rimmer:
Dear Emotional and tired,

con-grates on your little one! i had to have a c-section(my LO was nearly 10 lbs and vaginally he wasn't making his way into this world, and I am a petite woman) and was in lots of pain for several days(even through my dr. did a fantastic job stiching me up) and the pediatrian at the hospital thought my LO was going through some kind of diabetic issue since i had gestational diabetic issues and I had to start him on a bottle, he wasn't latching well i feel b/c we missed our immediate window to latch together. I insisted on giving him my breast milk first, so we had to pump and than feed, and unfortunitly until my milk came in give some formula. When we left the hospital 4 days later, I still attempted to breastfeed, he wasn't able to do so; I immediately that day told my husband we are going to the store to purchase a breast pump b/c our guy will have breast milk, even if I have to give it to him in a bottle. I could barely move and purchased a medela pump N style (wonderful pump=electric/battery=so you can pump anywhere=which I have=parkinglots, fitting rooms). For a few week I had to give my LO his feeding in a bottle. We eventually learned breastfeeding together with a shield and attempted without, but LO will not do. My point is...We as mother's sometimes just have to allow our game plan to change and see the positive in it all. Your little guy may have to get all his meals from a bottle or a few, everyone around you=needs to understand that you are his mother and that what works for them may not work for you. They need to support whatever decision you make. If you need sleep, than your partner or another family member should come and feed your LO at night or whenever you need to sleep, b/c your LO needs a mommy who can enjoy him; he'll only be this tiny for a short period of time & u want to enjoy the memories of the moments you two are together. My husband finally realized that my sleep is important too, when on my b-day of all days, I was hunched in a cornor crying holding our LO (I also cried ALL day, just sat nursing him and crying, and attempting to get him to sleep and crying) and I thought I was loosing my mind b/c I was sooooooooooo exhausted. He told me to go to bed, he'll give our LO breast milk I had freezed in a bottle (I was like, no. I need that for when I go back to work), that night, I cried myself to sleep. I realized that my LO is still getting the nutrients and antibodies and all the good stuff, even through, I may not have beeen able to breast feed him for every meal. My mother, who seemingly handled all 5 prenancies,breastfeeding, and fatigue appartently better than me...at times I feel she doesn't respect my choices in caring for my LO, but I come to realize that she made choices that worked for her and I have to make the ones that work for me, and my game plan is ever changing. I go back to work in 1 wk and informed my husband, that if my supply doesn't increase or if he has difficulty sleeping at night, we may have to go to some formula feeds also; I don't want to, but I need to take care of myself so I can take great care of him. You need to take care of YOUR SELF in order to care for your LO and to deeply be able to enjoy caring for your LO. The support people around you, need to respect your choices and offer more help. Hope this is helpful.

It's so nice to know i'm not the only one who has sat in the nursing chair crying for hours on end and during the entire feeding from exhaustion

shaket83 · May 2012

Keep trying, you can get through it!!!

Here are a couple of things my lactation consultant instructed me on. (I've got twin 5 week old boys at home that are breastfed exclusively--trust me it was a rough go at first).

First...pumping sucks!!! I hate it myself, and feel like there is never a good time to do it! That being said, it does get your supply up (per my lactation consultant). If you are getting milk out, I would recommend re-feeding this to her after your next BF session (I ended up FINGER feeding to avoid nipple confusion for the first week and half). That may buy you a tiny bit longer between feedings to help give your nipples a little rest, and maybe you can get a little nap

I had a C-section and I was off percoset by the time I left the hospital for my incision...however I did end up needing to start it again for nipple pain. Still to this day, if one of the boys has a bad latch I will get blisters on my nipples, and end up taking a couple of doses pain meds. So please...take some pain meds! If you are in pain, and stressed your milk won't let down as well as if you are relaxed.

Last thing, I would recommend waking her up every 1.5 to 2 hours during the day to feed her. I know there are people that will disagree with me here, but cluster feeding during the day (instead of at night) will help her to get her calories and may allow her to sleep a little longer stints over night. Also, depending on the weather where you are, maybe she can go outside side for 5 min or so at a time. Getting her out in the sun (not direct light), will help her learn her days from her nights and be good for her jaundice to boot.

Good luck, you sound like you are doing a great job and I promise it will get easier!

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