When you see a car seat no-no on FB pics WDYD?

JillBean78 · May 2012

I see this all the time and I never know what to say or how to say it without coming off as a b*tch.

Last night an acquantaince of mine that I'm friends with on FB posted a picture of her 2 year old son in a booster seat!!! The caption read, WOW, look at me in my big boy seat.

I about died.

I commented and casually said, wow, the law is 40 lbs and 4 years old.

Her reply back, well he is 36 lbs and the seat said for 30 lbs and up

So tell me, other car seat safety people, what do you say to those that are clearly doing things with their kids in seats that are unsafe? Do you just let it go? If you do say something how do you word it as not to come off as being a know it all? Should I just post a link to the State of Ohio website that clearly states the booster law?

pugznploons · May 2012

people are ignorant, so posting articles about carseat safety is fine IMO, but directly commenting on their photo is basically asking to be unfriended. People don't like being called out publicly. If you feel you have to say something, send a private message, but even with that, I would expect the person to be offended if I criticized their parenting.

jparrish1 · May 2012

IMO everyone chooses to raise their children differently. I am sure there will be thinks you do with you baby that she wont approve of either.

srs5624 · May 2012

I've never run across anything that I felt the need to comment on. However...

If you feel that you have to say something, it should be done by private message. Not as a public call out attached to her picture. All that's going to do is get you unfriended and/or a reputation for being a know-it-all.

Maybe she's confused since the car seat limits say one thing and the law says something else. In a message, let her know that the police don't care about car seat minimum limits, they go by the state law. If she were to get pulled over and they see her kid in a booster she'd get a fine at the minimum. That's assuming OH laws are 40 lbs AND 4 yrs. Not 40 lbs OR 4 yrs... I'm too lazy to google and I don't live in OH.

MarisaKathleen · May 2012

jparrish1:
IMO everyone chooses to raise their children differently. I am sure there will be thinks you do with you baby that she wont approve of either.

Was it YOUR child that was in the "wrong" seat? If not, then it's not your business to say something. Especially over 4lbs. I understand if the kid was 25lbs in a booster seat, but 36lbs and the "correct" weight is 40? Come on. That could be the difference between winter gear and summer gear.

JillBean78 · May 2012

He might be 36 lbs, but he is only 2 years old.

I guess your all right, it really isn't my place to say anything and I shouldn't have commented on her photo.

I just wish more parents were aware and it is too bad as parents we are not given more information via our doctors and hospitals regarding car seat laws and safety. The laws are there, but sadly not many parents know what they are. Thankfully I had these boards to point me in the right directions regarding car seat laws and safety.

JillBean78 · May 2012

srs5624:

I've never run across anything that I felt the need to comment on. However...

If you feel that you have to say something, it should be done by private message. Not as a public call out attached to her picture. All that's going to do is get you unfriended and/or a reputation for being a know-it-all.

Maybe she's confused since the car seat limits say one thing and the law says something else. In a message, let her know that the police don't care about car seat minimum limits, they go by the state law. If she were to get pulled over and they see her kid in a booster she'd get a fine at the minimum. That's assuming OH laws are 40 lbs AND 4 yrs. Not 40 lbs OR 4 yrs... I'm too lazy to google and I don't live in OH.

Ohio is 40 lbs and 4 years old. Not one or the other. Same thing with forward facing, Ohio law is 20 lbs and 1 year old, not one or the other.

penguingrrl · May 2012

I stay out of it. Many people on my FB feed show really crazy scary carseat use (FF at under 2, loose straps, straps down on shoulders, chest clips at the belly, booster use before 2, one this week had a boostered 2 year old sans seatbelt!!!!). I would love to contact them, but in each of these cases I know it would be useless and lead to hurt feelings without anything changing as far as carseat misuse. I have once or twice sent a private message to someone who I thought would care, but most seem not to.

wannabigfam · May 2012

Better to be defriended than see a facebook post the next day saying the baby had gotten injured in a car crash.

I keep my mouth shut on MOST issues, but car seat safety I always speak up. I don't care if my friends think I'm a know it all, I care more about their child's safety than their opinion of me. I have pointed out improper car seat installation to several friends & improper tightening of straps to several friends as well. I have started to stop random people in the store but have stopped myself at that b/c I know they won't listen. But my friends tend to take it well - I say it gently. I probably wouldn't say anything on their facebook page, instead I would message them privately and give them info to a local car seat inspection station for proper training.

In this case I would private message your friend the Ohio website and tell her you don't want her child to get hurt or for her to get in trouble.

AimeeL85 · May 2012

jparrish1:
IMO everyone chooses to raise their children differently. I am sure there will be thinks you do with you baby that she wont approve of either.

There is a difference between choosing to raise your child a certain way and breaking a child safety law. If she gets pulled over, saying that this is how she's "choosing to raise her child" isn't going to fly. It's not legal, period.

gimmietimmies · May 2012

It depends who it is. Family, I'll call and give them a hey, did you realize?? I have done it, and I got, oh wow, didn't know, thanks. BUT, they usually call me and ask questions about car seats, mostly because I had kids first. I just happen to have access to the correct info, or know someone who does.

Friends, again, depends on how close I am to them what I say and how I phrase it. But a lot of people I'm friends with at minimum follow the law. Most ERF and extended booster. I have given the name of a parent of one of the kids in dd3's preschool, mom was so outside the law with her ds it wasn't funny. I got in touch with one of our officers who does the education and mentioned he should have a quick peek during school pickup, and he gave her two options - be compliant or get a $500 ticket. And in the process he found several other misuse of seats, and helped show them how to correct the installs. Nobody minded.

Why would I say something? I'm tired of going to funerals for children I know. There's another one on Friday. To me, not taking action makes me feel like I'm just as much to blame.

MelleTX · May 2012

I would send her a private message. First, you should apologize for calling her out on her photo. Then, include the link to the Ohio laws. Keep it light-hearted. maybe even throw in a funny anecdote about when you had your carseat inspected or something else dis-arming.

bobbs420 · May 2012

I would never say anything to anyone who follows the law. If we happen to get into a conversation about it, I point out the recommendations. It's the people who are blatantly breaking the law that I may say something to. If it's a friend on FB that I feel close enough to, I will send a very carefully thought out, non-concescending, private message. I never point fingers, but I will usually ask if they are aware of the law and then post the DMV carseat requirements webpage for whatever state they live in. I then follow up with something like, "I know we can't protect our children from everything, but I just wanted to let you know because I care and wanted to make sure that you knew the correct info." I am very careful about how I do this. Knowing the dangers of what can happen, I would feel guilty not saying something privately. I would want someone to tell me if I didn't realize that I was breaking the law.

chardonnay24 · May 2012

jparrish1:
IMO everyone chooses to raise their children differently. I am sure there will be thinks you do with you baby that she wont approve of either.

"Different parenting styles" and "endangering a child's life (or flat out breaking the law" are two totally different things.

JillBean78 · May 2012

chardonnay24:

jparrish1:
IMO everyone chooses to raise their children differently. I am sure there will be thinks you do with you baby that she wont approve of either.

"Different parenting styles" and "endangering a child's life (or flat out breaking the law" are two totally different things.

Agreed.

This isn't a formula v. breastfeeding debate or a natural v. epidural debate

Car seats are the law. Each state has laws regarding car seats and boosters. She is breaking the law in Ohio by putting a 2 year old in a booster as the law here is 4 years AND 40 lbs.

shellybird101 · May 2012

jparrish1:
IMO everyone chooses to raise their children differently. I am sure there will be thinks you do with you baby that she wont approve of either.

simplaw215 · May 2012

Without taking any position on your friend's facebook pic, I just wanted to point out that I'm pretty sure Ohio law is 4 years old or 40 lbs, not both.

https://www.ghsa.org/html/stateinfo/bystate/oh.html

JillBean78 · May 2012

LucyD1029:
Was it a true booster seat or something like a Graco Nautilus? Regardless, I would never call someone out on FB. I may send a private message if I knew the person well enough.

My son rides in a Frontier and a Nautilus with the harness so I know the difference.

Here child was in a true booster with a seatbelt.

alliapistor · May 2012

simplaw215:

Without taking any position on your friend's facebook pic, I just wanted to point out that I'm pretty sure Ohio law is 4 years old or 40 lbs, not both.

https://www.ghsa.org/html/stateinfo/bystate/oh.html

Looking at that site - if the kid is under 4 years old, s/he has to be in a child safety seat regardless of weight. If the child is ages 4 to 7 and is under 40 lbs., s/he still has to be in a child safety seat. If the child is ages 4 to 7 and over 40 lbs. but under 4'9", you have to use a booster. It's all confusing.

But I still wouldn't have commented on a FB photo publicly.

Want a personalized experience?

When you see a car seat no-no on FB pics WDYD?

Re: When you see a car seat no-no on FB pics WDYD?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards