- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
STM- What was your biggest surprise about being a mom?
With all the talk of hospital bags and going home outfits, I realized that as a FTM I did a lot of research on somethings and wasn't prepared for other things. I wish someone had told me/ I had done more reserach about the following:
-Recovery/healing- I was not prepared for peri-bottles, sitz baths etc.
-Breastfeeding- Although I did research, I didn't know I had anatomy issues and that even though LO was "full term" 37 weekers have a tough time latching still.
That being said, what were your surprises that you wish you had known about before giving birth?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: STM- What was your biggest surprise about being a mom?
I definitely agree with the recovery aspect. I expected about 3-4 weeks of bleeding and some minor pain but ended up with 10 weeks of extremely heavy constant bleeding and outrageous pain where I could barely walk. It was so much worse than anticipated and I fear it much more than actual delivery.
I wish I had listened when people told me that caring for a newborn came naturally. I was so scared about having a baby (DH was gone for 4 weeks after DS was born) and I cried and freaked out constantly. After my son arrived most of it came very natural to me and I realized I had been super panicky for no reason.
How much freaking POOP I dealt with on a daily basis. So many diaper changes, ruined sets of clothes, piles and piles of baby laundry. New baby poop is horrible. It may not stink but the fact that it is everywhere all the time is overwhelming at times.
No matter how hard you try, unless you DH is a neat freak, your house will become a disaster for several weeks/months. Just accept it.
True story: When DS was a new born, I would nurse and DH would change him. During one middle of the night feeding, I had settled back into bed while DS was being changed and I hear "WHOOOOAAAAA!!!!" I bolted out of bed and went to the nursery, upon opening the door DH yells "Watch your step!" Yes, DS had shot poop over six feet and it hit the door, door jam and all over the tile floor in front of the door. Thankfully, he missed the brand new area rug. Um, gross.
NOTHING prepares you for how little time you'll actually have to get anything done. Thankfully I became very good at using a moby wrap, but still--your hands are not free most of the time so it becomes impossible to feed yourself (and i'm someone who cooks 5-7 nights out of the week usually and i could barely get a meal in my hand/mouth). Showering is a huge accomplishment--even if i put DS in a bouncer outside the shower i couldn't handle him crying so i'd get like 60 seconds to clean myself and get out to get him again. You just wonder how you used to have so much time in your day!
I also was VERY emotional those first few weeks. I would just sit holding DS and cry with how much i loved him, how overwhelmed i was, how tired i was, how i felt like i wasn't sure what i was doing, how hard BFing was. It's a HUGE transition that nothing prepares you for.
However it just takes time....you heal, things click, BFing gets better....you get in a new groove. It all works out in the end. That said, i'm very nervous for those first few weeks again especially with a toddler this time!
frozen transfer a success! boy #2 via VBAC
also, this totally. in retrospect i can't believe i let visitors see my house in the condition they did. but at the time cleaning was the last thing i could even think about.
frozen transfer a success! boy #2 via VBAC
Ice condoms
Sweating
Itchy skin
Hair loss
&&&&&& the finale:
DONT pressure sleep onto ourself,,,, it will stress you out,,,, and you won't sleep. Just do what works for you, I tried to sleep all day when he slept & I was left a constant groggy mess.
Nice post idea!!!!
I wish I had realized how incredibly powerful it is for anyone to give you the smallest bit of critizism during those first few months when you are trying so hard to get it all right. I wish I knew and had the power to NOT let it bother me.
I wish I wasn't so hard on my DH who had never been around a baby. He does the best he can and is a wonderful father to our DD. Just because he doesnt do it my way doesn't mean it's the wrong way.
I'm with you on the rest of them, but Ice Condoms? I had Ice Diapers (BTW- If you are reading this and a FTM- these are great. Your hospital should have them all ready and mine only reccomended using them for the first 24/48 hours.) But what were the Ice Condoms for?
How much time it took to nurse - I had obviously been told that they eat every two to three hours all day long but didn't realize that that would mean I would spend 45 minutes nursing and then get an hour and 15 minute break before it all started again. All day long / all night long for months.
Also, that some (most?) babies don't just lay down and fall asleep.
Going back to work was the hardest thing ever. Not because I didn't want to leave her, but just trying to get everything done on such little sleep.
I get 8 weeks maternity leave, and was fine as long as I could lie around all day and sleep here and there. But going back to work threw me for a loop. DD was not sleeping through the night for quite awhile after I went back to work, and it was so tough. I was a zombie most of those first few months back. I was literally amazed at how well I did on such little sleep. Made me feel like a superhero!
This is when I discovered the 'mom ponytail' and still fully embrace it. Even that extra 15 minutes saved in the morning makes such a difference.
dup
Ugh, totally forgot about this part. As much as a newborn sleeps it's almost impossible to eat a meal while it's still hot and to enjoy a good shower. Before DH returned home after DS was born I went 3-4 days without showers and then I'd get one that lasted about 2 minutes. It was horrible. I literally did my make up while DS nursed on the boppy because it was the ONLY time I had to do it.
The important thing is for you and your SO to take turns eating/showering/getting ready for the day/etc.
The thought of doing it with a demanding 19 month old exhausts me already.
Another thing though, after the 4-6 month mark. Things get SOOOOOO much easier.....even with a bad sleeper.
I wish I would have known that my entire body would shake like crazy when it was time to push DD out. That was honestly the worst part I remember.
After baby arrived, I was overwhelmed by BFing and especially because we had to wake her every 3 hours to eat and she was IMPOSSIBLE to wake up. We would strip her naked, put cold washcloths and ice packs on her naked body and she would still stay asleep. It's pretty unmotivating to wake yourself up to feed somebody who doesn't really want to eat.
Did your DD struggle to get back to her birth weight? My Ped said once they return to their birth weight don't wake them between Letterman and Lauer. I know all doctors say different things, but it really helped DS distinguish night from day...eventually
i thought of another one....
looking back it's kinda funny how many times i found myself going to the bathroom while BFing. you're locked down in that chair/couch nursing so much time and sometimes when you gotta go you gotta go. i'd scoot over to the bathroom while holding the baby midair and have to get my pants down with one hand, etc. especially those first few weeks while your muscles 'down there' are weakened.
frozen transfer a success! boy #2 via VBAC
Ha ha. This is funny cause we all know that one. Once I was at a church play and had to bf DS in the bathroom. No couch or anything, so I did it in the stall and thought- while I am here. Washing my hands was interesting, time to switch sides:).
That engorgement isn't something that just goes away a few days after the milk comes in. I have had oversupply with my first two and am prepared this time around for the same issue. It's so painful and when your own doctor tells you to 'hang in there' after two rounds of mastitis, it's enough to break you down.
How unnecessary it was for me to try to be supermom. And do everything right. I'm definitely going to relax a lot more this time, accept more help, and enjoy my little baby.
How stressful and emotional I was the first week home. DS lost over 10% of his body weight, wasn't latching and wasn't very responsive. Luckily my ped had a lactation consultant as part of their practice, and she got me through it. But I would just break down in tears in mid-conversation. Luckily it was with my mom, and she understood.
How strong your "mommy sense" is. On our second night in the hospital they took DD for some testing. DH and I heard a baby crying being rolled down the hall. I KNEW it was DD. H thought I was crazy, but guess what? It was her. After less than 36 hours, I already knew her cry.
I also agree with the hair loss comment. No one told me about that. I went on for months... finding hairs on DD, all over the bed, clumps of it in the dryer and the shower drain. It got pretty old after a while.
Love it!
-PP hormones- Was not expecting to cry over every little thing.
-Breastfeeding- A lot more difficult than what I thought it was going to be.
-The fact that half the baby gear I bought I still haven't used and it's just taking up space.
-That babies aren't going to STTN right away...in fact we're almost 4 months in and not STTN.
-That I could love something so much from the instant I saw him.
BFP #1 5/07/11, DS 01/19/12
BFP #2 08/09/12, M/C 08/10/12
BFP #3 10/30/12, EDD 07/11/12...please stick!
I wish someone had warned me about everything! Haha
I was not prepared for what my stomach would look like right after birth, in my lala land I thought it would go back to normal - so not the case, I looked down and saw this big raisin I was mortified - luckily that goes away but I was not expecting it.
I also thought that bfeeding was natural and didn't realize I'd have to work at getting the right latch and wake my baby up to eat those first few days.
But for the good, I also was shocked at how easily it all came to me. I was nervous about night feedings and just about everything else but it all kind of just came naturally.
Ditto! Thanks ladies and thanks op for posting!