Why did you stop bedsharing?

boogerbearoriginal · May 2012

For those who have transitioned to something else, what were your reasons? And when, age of LO?

We love having LO in bed but sometimes I wonder if he's getting good rest. But sometimes I think he'd be worse off in his own room so I don't know what to do.

He used to sleep snuggled up to me all night and would nurse back to sleep and I would barely wake up. It was lovely, especially as a working mom I never felt exhausted despite him waking up a few times.

Now that he's mobile he wiggles around a lot at night. I woke up at one point and he was laying on his side, with head at my stomach and feet towards H. Soundly asleep. I have no idea when/how he moved there. That made me a touch worried about the blankets although he wasn't under any. But also that I'm sleeping through all sorts of movement.

We moved our mattress to the floor once he started crawling but I'm starting to wonder if bedsharing is still a good idea, both from safety and restful sleep perspectives. But when I lay him down and go do my thing in the evening if he wakes up and realizes I'm not there he starts yelling for me. So I don't know if putting him in his own room will work. But maybe his crib in our room? We had it side-cared but it was move for added space/safety since he never actually slept in it. Although I ended up 1/2 in the crib on more than once occasion lol.

Thoughts?

3003girl · May 2012

We had LO's crib side-carred for a long time, but she mostly slept on the bed. It was nice as an extension for my arm though. lol.

But, we just nightweaned her and unside-carred the crib and put it back together because it was the only way to get her to fall asleep without getting out of bed. So now the crib is right next to the bed, but fully put together. Both mattresses are the same level. It has worked out great, and eventually we will move the crib to the other side of the room, and then switch it to a regular twin mattress.

Maybe you could put the crib back together and have it right next to the bed?

Also, you might laugh at this:

https://www.howtobeadad.com/tag/baby-sleep-positions

kcisthebombdotcom · May 2012

With DS we stopped around 20 months (though he still does sleep in bed with us if he's sick/teething on occasion)

With DD around 12 months.

We did with DD so young because she didnt sleep well while bedsharing. With DS, DH was simply tired of 8 months of bedsharing with 2 kids and wanted to transition him to his own space.

They both sleep great in their own beds now.

boogerbearoriginal · May 2012

solidio:
We had LO's crib side-carred for a long time, but she mostly slept on the bed. It was nice as an extension for my arm though. lol.
But, we just nightweaned her and unside-carred the crib and put it back together because it was the only way to get her to fall asleep without getting out of bed. So now the crib is right next to the bed, but fully put together. Both mattresses are the same level. It has worked out great, and eventually we will move the crib to the other side of the room, and then switch it to a regular twin mattress.
Maybe you could put the crib back together and have it right next to the bed?
Also, you might laugh at this:
https://www.howtobeadad.com/tag/baby-sleep-positions

LOL that is so funny. And so true.

FrauElyse · May 2012

We stopped bedsharing about a month ago when DS was 6mo. He was more wiggly and needed to spread out so we butted his mattress up to ours and he sleeps there. We are thinking of moving him to his nursery soon though because we will be moving this summer and I want him to be used to sleeping in his crib (at least for naps) for when I go back to work and my mom is watching him in the fall.

sami1784 · May 2012

I stopped because neither of us were getting much rest. He kept wanting to nurse through the night in his sleep because he'd smell the food and go for it. I wasn't getting much sleep either because he'd be so wiggly. I started putting him in his crib and we both got better sleep.

Meg&Jesse · May 2012

Around 1 DS went to sleeping in a crib. I could have coslept longer, but DH was done. Also DS was so wiggly and all over at that age, so we all slept a bit better when he was in his crib. When we travel or he is sick he sleeps with us. He also went through a stage recently where he was scared and sleeping with us quite a bit. We all came up with a compromise and now DS sleeps with us on Friday nights. It works well, because when he asks to sleep with us we tell him on Fridays and he is good with that.

When we transitioned to the crib at one I spent a few nights sleeping on a mattress with DS on his bedroom floor. Eventually he moved to the crib, but I was still on the mattress. Then I would lay with him until he was asleep and then slowly he went to bed on his own. It was a slow transition, but worked out well.

BFab11 · May 2012

I was pregnant and it was getting more and more uncomfortable for me to have him in bed. At first he'd cuddle with me and fall asleep in my bed, then DH would move him into his room (he has a floor bed). Now He falls asleep on his own in his room, and in the mornings comes into our room for a couple more hours of sleep and cuddles. It was a really gradual thing for us, we just played it by ear. If he is sick or something he'll still go to sleep in my room with me. I guess he was around 14/15 months when we started transitioning, it was around the time that we stopped nursing.

BrittKav · May 2012

When DD1 was 12 months, I wanted to night-wean her and she wasn't sleeping very well (any little movement woke her up) so I moved her to her own room and it went very smoothly.

I followed the same course for DD2, aiming for 12 months but I didn't feel like she was ready until 14 months. At that time, we moved her and it went very smoothly as well.

Mainly I just play it by ear and move them when I think they're ready.

tokenhoser · May 2012

If he was in bed with me, he wanted to be latched all night. I couldn't deal, so now he's in bed with me less. We started more crib time around 6 months, and now he spends most of the night there and 2-4 hours in bed with me.

boogerbearoriginal · May 2012

I appreciate all the feedback ladies!

My biggest reservation is he does still nurse 1x a night and he eats so I am reluctant to night wean him if he needs that "midnight snack". And he does comfort suck back to sleep but it's pretty random, lately it's been a lot but I can see his top teeth starting to cut through so I'm sure that's why. Unfortunately my H works afternoons so there's no way he could take over nighttime wakings since he's not there. I just can't imagine LO going back to sleep for me w/out nursing and if he is getting pick up out of a crib, nursed, then put back in neither of us will be getting more rest.

I just have really mixed feelings about the whole deal. I like bed sharing but I'm worried about safety and quality sleep. I think I may wait a few weeks and talk with H about it. Maybe we will try putting his 4th crib rail back but keep it in our room and see how he does there. I'll stop rambling now - Thanks again!

pepomntpat · May 2012

We transitioned around 6 months because DD started waking every 45 minutes to nurse and I just couldn't function. The second night she was in her crib she woke at a much more reasonable every 3 hours to nurse and we were all better rested and happier. I still sometimes let her sleep in bed with me if she wakes early in the morning-when she will sleep. Usually she wants to play in bed and sleep in her crib.

skyejo · May 2012

We stopped a few weeks ago around 18 months. DD's constant wiggling throught the night was driving me bonkers, plus I want to get her in her own bed before this baby comes (late September). When I get up to use the bathroom it wakes DD so I knew that wouldn't work with all the up and down I'll have to do in the night with a newborn.

Now DD sleeps in her crib but it's not going that great. She's STTN twice (which is unheard of if my house) but most nights she wakes after just a few hours so I bring her back into bed with me. I sleep in her room with her since there's a bed in there. I thought that knowing that I was right there would be comforting and she would stay in her crib but no dice.

I need to figure out how to make this work!

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