BFNs (kind of long)
BzeetyD
member
My POAS has not been paying off in the way we'd hoped. Since my meltdown last week when the trigger left my system I've been pulling BFNs out of the pee cup.
My beta is tomorrow and I know there are stories about this one lady or your third cousin who had negatives but then her beta was positive. Could be. I'm pretty doubtful at this point.
I'm not crushed and we didn't cry, yet. I'm disappointed and frustrated and I just want it to work so badly.
Since we've had 2 losses, getting PG for us is really feels like just the very first step and right now it feels so Sisyphus like.
But I'd gladly do it all again if it meant we could have a child.
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An upside is that we did a multi-cycle buy so we've got another 2 fresh cycles (and if we ever have any to freeze, 3 frozen cycles) to try and make this work.
A downside is - what if we don't have any to freeze and the 2 fresh cycles we have left don't work. Then what... what do we want to do? How do we build a family in a way that feels "right" for us? When do we come up with Plan B and what will it be? (I feel like IVF is already plan C or plan D, but you get the point.)
Big stuff.
Right now it appears as though I'll be around here for a bit more ladies. Thanks for all your support and sharing and laughs.
I'll share my beta result tomorrow when it comes in.
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues
Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013
Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal
Moving on to IVF.
IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy
Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14
After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
We are so in love with her.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
Everybody is welcome!!!
Re: BFNs (kind of long)
I'm so sorry ((hugs)) IF really sucks.
I'm still praying that you get a very pleasant surprise tomorrow at your beta!
HSG: Right tube all clear, left tube inconclusive
3 failed Clomid Cylces
4/5 lap revealed blocked left tube, but right tube is open
April/May- 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1= CANCELLED left ovary ovulating
June 1- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1 = BFN
June 28- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #2 =BFP!
7/12 Beta #1= 14 Beta #2= >5 Chemical Pregnancy
July-Nov long break to recover emotionally and financially
Nov 24- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #3= BFN
Jan 22- Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI# 4 = CANCELLED no response on right
IVF #1- Start stims 4/7, ER 4/20, 21R, 14F, 6 frosties, ET 4/25, 2 embryos transferred= BFN
FET #1- June 2012, Lurpon starts 5/27- CANCELLED
FET #1 take 2- August 2012, delayed until Sept-CANCELLED
FET #1 take 3- ET 10/11, 2 embryos transferred,= BFFN
FET #2- Transfer 12/4--Cancelled, no embies survived thaw
Next steps-- IVF #2 with new RE in March
HOLY SURPRISE BFP 2/15/13!!!! Beta 1- 286, Beta 2- 782, First Ultrasound 2/25- baby in uterus & all looks good!
BzeetyD...I am so sorry. I hope there is still a chance for you. I still have my FX that things turn around.
The Sisyphus analogy is so right on. IF sucks. Literally sucks the life out of you.
(HUGS)
TTC Since June 2008,Me-25, DH-30, SA=MFI,HSG-Clear, 3 Failied IUI Feb. 2011,IVF#1 April 2012, BCP until 3/11, Hysteroscopy 3/23, Lupron 3/29, U/S 4/6 everything looks good Start Stims Follisitm/Menopur....ER 4/16 18R. 15F. 4 Frosties 5dt 4/21 2 embies transfered. Beta #1 4/30= 128! Beta #2 5/2=333 beta #3 5/4=938 PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
BFP#2 11/2011, CP
FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!
Me and DH - 26years old; IF DX: PCOS, Hypothyroid/Hashimotos(me)
IVF #1 April 2012- 15 ER (4/13), 13 Fertilized, 1 transfered (4/16), 3 frozen
Beta #1(4/28)-127 Beta #2(4/30)-301 Beta #3(5/7)-5570!!
First ultrasound showed 1 strong little heart beat! (5/25) 7/16.. ITS A BOY!
Brayden Nicholas Born Dec 29 2012 - 7 lbs 10 oz 20 in
Big BIG ((((((HUGS))))))
Praying for you!
06.10.12 +HPT 06.12.12 Beta #1 = 2,770 06.14.12 Beta #2 = 6,300
1st U/S 06.18.12 2nd U/S 06.25.12
09.24.12 It's a Boy!! ---> Jacob Owen
Our IF Journey Began: October 2009
**8 Failed IUI's, 1 Blighted Ovum, & 1 Failed IVF**
Dx: MFI, DOR w/MTHFR Homozygous A1298C & Hypothyroidism
03.2012 Lab Results: FSH 6.83 AMH 0.67 TSH 3.8 E2 17
SA 156 million 93% motility 3% morphology
**~PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome~**
Hang in there, you never know we've seen many bfp's from beta's when home testing was negative. We also are on a shared risk plan so keep reminding yourself you still have additonal tries. The odds of all 3 not working (even with no frozen) really is slim. The way I look at it the cliinic is going to do everything in their power to get this to work as they aren't going to want to refund us our money.