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Special Needs
4Speedy
member
Has anyone moved overseas with a SN child?
4Speedy
member
We started preparing for an overseas assignment with DH's company several years ago. Back then it looked like it would be China. Then DS came along and he has some special needs. He has apraxia of speech and sensory processing disorder so we back burnered China because we didn't think we could get him the speech therapy and occupational therapy he needs. He is now 3 and doing very well in private therapy. Another opportunity has come up in France so we are starting to think about it again. However, theses early years are critical for DS, so if we can't be certain that DS's needs will be met over there, we will have to pass up this opportunity. Has anyone ever taken a special needs child overseas?
I guess my real concern is that we are receiving great therapy here and I'm afraid it won't measure up overseas, especially with a language barrier. Our SLP is also the director of a pretty renown clinic and people come from all over the world to see her. I often see families in her clinic who have flown in their own OT's and SLP's to learn her methods. I having a hard time because I'm wondering if everyone is coming here to learn from her, why would we go somewhere else? I need someone to reassure me that the therapists are just as good in France.
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Re: Has anyone moved overseas with a SN child?
That's exciting..and terrifying at the same time. Is it possible to contact anyone in France? I don't know how you would do that but the internet is full of info. I just wanted to say that with the internet, and skype, etc now you would maybe still be able to do ST through the internet, if your ST isn't very 'hands on' but more directs you, etc.
Good luck!
I did it sort of backwards because I moved overseas when DS#1 was 6 months (UK) and DS#2 was born in Australia. We moved back to the US when DS#2 was 6 months.
The hardest thing in a lot of other countries is actually getting a diagnosis. Everyone kept insisting we should wait and see and my concerns kept getting brushed under the carpet. In general the stereotype of Americans is that we tend to over - diagnose/freak out about stuff, so I'm sure this played into what they thought was my unwarranted concerns. I've subsequently researched therapies in both countries and believe them to be on par with what we have here and would be surprised if it wasn't the same in France.
Would your move be for a limited time (like a couple of years)? If so, I would do what most expats do and send my children to a British or American school where you didn't have to worry about the language in addition to the other issues. Many, many expats do this regardless and tuition is often included in your overall package in short term moves.
I would research and find the equivalent of the autism society and contact them for information on schools, therapies, and the standard model used for children with these needs. I realize you didn't say you have an autism diagnosis, but they could likely point you in the right direction for help.
If you are planning on moving as a permanent move, my advise might be different. Obviously then you would HAVE to tackle the language issue. I would make sure that if you start talking about this seriously you make sure that your DH's company provides you with a look-see trip to organize housing, make sure you are confident in the schooling situation, meet drs/therapists, etc. You would have to organize all of this from here and then do all of the appointments on your trip. The housing situation is important because that will limit where you can do your therapy and schooling. Depending on your housing budget, these are all factors.
I also just want to prepare you for the fact that moving overseas is hard and isolating, much like having a SN child. You have no support system and unless your French is fluent you will struggle with that in the beginning too. Just figuring out the way things work, where stuff is, etc. is hard with a child (any child). I don't mean to discourage you. Moving overseas was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done and it was brilliant for for DH's career. I'm sure you know all of this logically, I just know it's easy to romanticize ideas like this. I still catch myself doing it
The international newlywed board on the nest is a great resource for expats and they are very welcoming. I made a lovely friend from there and met several of them when I lived overseas. I'm sure they have a couple of French girls that could help you with general living questions.
Google "State Department Office of Overseas Schools Special Needs" - Dep't of State puts out a really useful resource book with which schools in which countries provide services and what they provide. There's also a good website www.talesmag.com that provides voluntary reporting from expats about various cities.
Good luck!
A few more details...the money would be excellent if we moved. All expenses paid for, the housing is capped but it is so generous, we could live pretty well. DH would be working in Paris, so I'm sure there would be a pretty large expat community. His company would give him an additional 25% pay increase while over there. The company also pays for memberships at the American Club, etc. in order to not feel so isolated. The one budget item that does not have a cap is education. The company will pay for any school we feel is best for our kids, no questions asked. My older daughter is in a private school here that has a faster paced curiculum because we have been told it would make it easier for her to transfer to an international school overseas. We've been trying to plan for this for a long time!
As far as finances, it would actually be much easier on us overseas because we pay for private therapy out of pocket rit now. If we went to Paris, the company would pay for it as an educational expense. It's just a matter of what is available over there, is it as good as what we get here and can we get speech services in English? And to make it more difficult, I would actually want speech services from an American. It seems that even if the SLP were French but spoke English, the accent might make it difficult fora kid who is already having problems to begin with.
Thanks to everyone who has replied, you've given me some great places to look to find answers to some of these questions. Especially that state dept. site, that is really helpful.
This is a very interesting question and one I have thought about many many many times.
We have a 4 year old little boy who at the moment is undiagnosed but has speech delays and a few other things. We lived in Amsterdam from the time that he was about 5 months old until last summer. My husband and I both worked full time and sent him to a Dutch speaking creche (day care). We always blamed the speech delay on the fact that he was in a bilingual environment. Now I always wonder if there was a problem early on that we didn't catch because we kept making excuses or if his problems now all stem from this big huge life changing move.
Since we've been home, his SN have started to pop up and every day I thank my lucky stars that I am in an English speaking environment where I can be his chief advocate and fight for him. In Holland, it would have been a struggle because I didn't know the system well and didn't speak the language. My first reaction would be no we won't take my son back to a non speaking environment.
My suggestion is to contact the local American or International School in Paris and talk to them about it. I had a friend in Holland who had a son with severe autism and she put him in the Dutch school system. I found that a very interesting choice and she never really talked about why she did it but now I wish I had asked.
My post wasn't completely what you were after but I would not move back to a non-English speaking ex-pat assignment with a SN child. Is there ever an opportunity for him to move to London or another English speaking environment? If that was an option I would say do it!
Not that this will be any help with the SN piece of the puzzle but there is a women on the Attachment Parenting board who recently moved to Paris with her DH and DD, whom I believe is 4. While she doesn't have a special needs child she may still be able to help you with resources plus she's a really wonderful, funny lady and might be a fabulous friend if you make the move while they are still there.
Her screen name is Anna7602.