Mothers day comment gone bad? (rant)

Tula214 · April 2012

I made a comment to someone that I get to celebrate my first Mother's Day this year since I'm pregnant. In response he (a family member) said that I'm not even a mom yet. I know it shouldn't have bothered me, and maybe some people would agree with him.

So are any other first time moms celebrating Mother's Day in a couple of weeks?

danielle2583 · April 2012

I've been wondering about this too. I'm a FTM, and DH is out of state (not that he'd remember Mother's day might apply to his wife now anyways) But I wasn't sure if it really counted yet. IMO it does, we're still mothers and have been for months, but I understand how some people may not see it that way.

nattlynn6 · April 2012

someone said this to me and thank god my husband took it on. He said "actually she was a mother the first time she saw the flicker of her heart beat or maybe even the first time she peed on that stick" he was VERY offended and so was I. No matter what happens in this pregnancy this is still my child and I her mother. People can very stupid with words & this really hurt my feelings I was glad my hubby felt the way I did and said something or else I may have ripped her head off.

I'm sorry you had to hear that its kind of a punch in the gut.

ttc35+ · April 2012

STMs may feel differently because they have more experience, but as a FTM I certainly feel like a mother. I have been taking good care of this little guy for the last 23+ weeks. And my husband has been taking great care of me. We are both doing as much as two parents at our stage can do.

jesslinnn · April 2012

I was 6.5 months pregnant with DS on Mother's Day and had no intention of celebrating. DH said "Happy Mother's Day" which was nice but I didn't really feel like a "mom" yet and didn't want a gift.

My mom did get me a gift though. She said her mom got her a gift for her "first Mother's day" when she was pregnant with me, so I thought that was really sweet.

jlrschmidt · April 2012

ttc35+:
STMs may feel differently because they have more experience, but as a FTM I certainly feel like a mother. I have been taking good care of this little guy for the last 23+ weeks. And my husband has been taking great care of me. We are both doing as much as two parents at our stage can do.

This. I fully plan on celebrating Father's Day for my DH this year, and I'm pretty sure he'll do the same for me. We ARE parents; there is a real baby growing inside me. Although, it will be different next year having a baby to hold of course :-)

mswood1977 · April 2012

DH and and I are not planning celebrating Mother's day or Father's day until next year.

quezzo · April 2012

I'm really divided about this. I feel like since I have given birth, I am a mother. But I also believe it takes more than carrying and giving birth to be a mother to a baby/child (hence adoptive parents being mothers and fathers to the fullest extent).

My MIL has given me presents on Mother's Day for the last two years though, even though my first m/c was before Mother's Day that first year. I've felt weird about it. And last year I was pregnant with Alexander on Mother's Day.

I feel like I've only done part of the work that it takes to be a mother and sometimes when people tell me I am a mother I feel weird about it because I know when people see me walking down the street babyless they don't think "Yep, she's a mother." But I'm a mother in my heart.

I'm weird about this holiday (and Father's Day too) when being pregnant. I can say that I am sure my husband and I won't do anything for Mother's Day or Father's Day to celebrate being parents. Alexander died on Father's Day last year so I think before we feel comfortable truly celebrating, we want to have her in our arms to celebrate with us.

irer · April 2012

I didn't celebrate Mother's Day as a mother when I was pregnant with ds, but that person didn't need to rain on your parade.

vanitylalala · April 2012

I asked my husband if he was going to buy me a Mothers Day gift, he said no. I planned to get him a Fathers Day gift, I guess I still will. A push present will be fine with me.

MrsC17 · April 2012

I kind of see both sides. When I was pregnant with DD I didn't celebrate mother's day as my own yet- I was still in 1st tri and felt very nervous- but DH was super sweet and got me a beautiful gift (totally unexpected).

That said, while what they said/the way they said it was rude, I honestly didn't know what being a mom was until DD was here. Of course you love your LO sooo much before they're here, but it's totally different once they're here. I would never tell an expectant mom that they couldn't celebrate mother's day (or even think that), but expecting just isn't the same as having your kids yet. I HATE saying this (because I hated when people said it to me) but once they're here you'll totally get it.

byrne15 · April 2012

We don't really celebrate mother's day or father's day (and we have a 4 year old)

pugznploons · April 2012

whatever you decide, just make sure your husband knows you are expecting something! the bump explodes with angry pregnant moms on mother's day that got nothing...you gotta speak up now and not expect your spouse to recognize the holiday unless you've agreed do so!

SpruceGrouse · April 2012

You are a mother, you are growing and holding your baby and taking care of it.

My birthday is mothers day so we are going to have some cake for that, DH is getting me a Moby wrap as a gift. We are not celebrating mothers day but if it wasn't my birthday, we would probably say happy mothers day to me because there is a baby in me but not make a big deal of it.

Mrs. Rohde · April 2012

With DD I was barely pregnant when Mother's Day came around. I still felt like I should be recognized but I didn't need a gift.

I think it's different for everyone. If you feel like a mom already then you should be able to celebrate the day.

babyike · April 2012

I was about 6.5-7 months pregnant with DD when Mother's Day came around. I received several cards in the mail from my parents, DH's family, and my close friends wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. I honestly didn't expect any gifts or acknowledgments at that time, but I would be lying if I said getting those cards didn't absolutely make me feel special that day DH did take my mom and me out for a nice lunch and gave us both flowers though!

To those that were told they were not moms yet because they're just pregnant... I am so sorry you were spoken to that way. You are all moms, and you all became mothers when you found out you were expecting a baby IMO - whether you celebrate Mother's Day or not is up to you.

mrs mosby · April 2012

Last year I was 36 weeks pregnant with DD and it was my birthday. I got a lot of "Happy Mother's Day" from people but DH didn't do anything for me and we didn't celebrate it. While I felt like a mother it didn't feel 100% right because I didn't have an outside baby. This year DH better go all out, haha

If you want to celebrate it - go for it.

mindymaske · April 2012

I am also first time prego and my husband asked me if I wanted anything for mothers day, but I said that Im not a mother yet, so we would wait and next year would be my 1st

DemoDoll · April 2012

I don't think DH and I will celebrate Mother's Day this year. I definitely feel like a mother but even when my baby is an outside baby, I don't really feel like Mother's day will be something "special" until she can talk/participate in the day. I am sure DH will get me a sweet card for Mother's Day though. I'm planning on getting him a Father's Day card because he has been amazing this whole pregnancy, especially when I had m/s and when I have cravings.

FraggleChic · April 2012

jlrschmidt:

ttc35+:
STMs may feel differently because they have more experience, but as a FTM I certainly feel like a mother. I have been taking good care of this little guy for the last 23+ weeks. And my husband has been taking great care of me. We are both doing as much as two parents at our stage can do.

This. I fully plan on celebrating Father's Day for my DH this year, and I'm pretty sure he'll do the same for me. We ARE parents; there is a real baby growing inside me. Although, it will be different next year having a baby to hold of course :-)

Yup. No matter what happens from here on out, I am a mother and my husband is a father. This was a dreaded day for me when going through IF so you can bet your butt we will be celebrating this year.

TechieGirl1 · April 2012

I don't know about Mothers day, but I did find the cutest onesies for LO that i plan on giving DH for Fathers day. They are at ON, and they were star wars! OMG! So exciting! ::takes big breath::: i'm better now! Geeked

Andreabks · April 2012

after 2 losses last year, not celebrating mothers day untill i have my baby home with me. but don't have anything against the people who do start when they're pregnant, just NMS

mamahawk12 · April 2012

MrsC17:
I honestly didn't know what being a mom was until DD was here. Of course you love your LO sooo much before they're here, but it's totally different once they're here. I would never tell an expectant mom that they couldn't celebrate mother's day (or even think that), but expecting just isn't the same as having your kids yet. I HATE saying this (because I hated when people said it to me) but once they're here you'll totally get it.

You took the words from my mouth. However, I wasn't pregnant on Mother's Day with DS, so I don't really have any experience.

I think if you want to celebrate this year - go for it! Forget everyone else. That said, I think you will appreciate the "holiday" a lot more next year when your LO is here.

SLbride2003 · April 2012

I say do what you want. Personally, I won't celebrate until I can hold my son. I've been through losses and IF. I'm excited to meet my son, but at this stage I'm still paranoid about potential loss. Yes, I'm already a mother, but I'm not ready to celebrate it yet

rels09 · April 2012

While I love our baby so much already, I do not consider myself a mother yet because I have not done any of the truly hard work of parenting. For me, Mother's Day is about appreciating all those things that mothers do that I haven't gotten to experience yet. So I don't expect anything other than a nice word from H acknowledging that I am doing my best for our baby. I think your friend was really rude about it, though. I would never begrudge anyone else their own experience.

klm5148 · April 2012

My husband and I love celebrating each other for any reason we can! Therefore, we will both be celebrating mothers day and fathers day this year! Why not!?? It's fun! Is there a REAL reason for Valentines day? no--but its fun and it for a good cause (love), so what the heck, it should be celebrated. I already bought my husband a set of golf clubs for fathers day...so excited to give them to him!

Want a personalized experience?

Mothers day comment gone bad? (rant)

Re: Mothers day comment gone bad? (rant)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards