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December 2011 Moms
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Speaking of Grandparents' Names...

SmgrochowskiSmgrochowski member
in December 2011 Moms

Does anyone have trouble calling a step parent grandma/pa?

My parents divorced suddenly a six years ago and my mom remarried quickly. It was difficult for me to accept that my children would have a grandfather other than my dad, but I figured it was best for the kids to refer to him as such since he would be big part of their lives. Now I'm so glad they have their "Pops."

Conversely, my husband's Nana passed a year before our daughter was born and his grandfather remarried quickly. All the great grandchildren call the new wife by her first name. I understand the desire to respect Nana's memory, but I find it odd for young children to call an elderly woman by name, I wish there was another way to verbalize respect.

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Re: Speaking of Grandparents' Names...

  • Linds1224Linds1224
    My parents are both divorced and with new spouses and my kids call them by their first name. My mom is grandma and they call her husband by his name, my dad is grandpa Bruce and they call his wife by her name, and then they call my DH's parents (still married) grandma and grandpa (last name). It works for us since there's so many!
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  • Happily OverwhelmedHappily Overwhelmed member

    My mom's parents were divorced when she was 7. They both remarried and my grandpa has been with the same woman for over 50 years. I think very fondly of the woman but was raised to just call her "Sharon". It seems cold and disrespectful now that I'm older. She's been like a grandma and I wish there would have been a better name for her when I was growing up. I don't think my mom saw an issue with it though. I remember being little saying "my grandpa and my Sharon" and trying to explain why I called a grandparent by her first name---confusing for a 6 year old! 

    I guess IMO if the step grandparent is close with the family see if you can come up with an endearing name.

    If the remarriage has been hard to handle and you feel like you're disrespecting the passed grandmother maybe call the step "Miss _______"? It's respectful but not personal.  

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  • kwinkle1980kwinkle1980 member
    I have trouble with this. My MIL (the one who wants LO to call her Mamasita) has a boyfriend that we are supposed to call "Grandpa R." I come from a family where there has never been a divorce, ever, and so it feels odd to me that there are 3 grandpas. My first reaction is that he should have a different designation, but when I think about it more it seems silly to deprive my kid of an extra grandpa. I loved my two grandpas and miss them dearly. 

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  • rockychryslerb2010rockychryslerb2010 member
    DH's parents split up right after we graduated college, and his mom has been seeing the same guy for over two years.  FIL isn't dating anyone, and I doubt he will.  MIL doesn't talk about her boyfriend ('her friend') in front of DH, so it is like this awkward thing that no one is suppose to know about.  I have been thinking about how this will impact E growing up - if she ever stops being awkward about it, I don't think E will call him grandpa unless they get married.  MIL wants to be called her first name, not grandma or some form of that, so I imagine he will be called by  his first name too.
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  • TiffJ21TiffJ21 member

    My parents were divorced and remarried by the time I turned 7 so my step-parents have always been in my life. I call my step-dad "dad" but I call my step-mom by her name, just because I lived with my mom and step-dad, so he really helped raise me.

    My kids will call my step-parents grandma/grandpa though because they will always be in their lives and will be looked at the exact same way that my real parents are.

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