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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
JerkStore213
member
My children. Book 3 has arrived.
JerkStore213
member
the rebels trekked all night and set up camp in a little town called facebook. you might be familiar with it. it was here that stories were shared of the glory of creamed corn (or lack thereof) and much of the rehashing of the battle took place. all they wanted to know was, "why did she do it?" why did lord shmemshmay take a good thing and smash it into bits and pieces because it no longer served her? the sheeples shared their own personal experiences with shmemshmay that had been oppressed for so long. the only thing that was missing was the personal account of the situation from shmemshmay herself. several of the rebels took their lives into their own hands and crossed enemy lines to try to bring that back to camp. that proved to be an exercise in futility. as you can imagine, everyone who ventured out came back dazed and exhausted (as is to be expected with a run in with shmemshmay. they'd been trackerjacked by her overuse of words and inherent ability to confuse the enemy with utter lack of logic and an unwillingness to listen to reason.)
meanwhile, back at camp, announcements kept coming from the sky, shmemshmay's booming voice quoting verbatim things that were spoken among the rebel camp in facebook. there was a spy among them! or perhaps several spies! the group went on the proverbial witch hunt, and the spies were outed in a sting operation. and you can guess shmemshmay's reaction to that. oh, you can't guess? well it was, "i PLANNED to have those people caught. i just can't believe you guys took so long to do it!" and the rebels were all, "riiiiiiiiiight, shmamshmay. go write a blog about it." and then shmemshmay wrote another blog about it. she warned of impending havoc, and guilty parties ran amok.
for the most part, the group remained confused, as the havoc of which shmemshmay spoke only really affected like five people who had been talking shiit about each other. times were dark, there was much speculation and fear over what would happen, and whether anything would happen at all. and then it did.
shmemshmay dropped her final attack on the rebels, which was a cowardly but effective flick of the switch enabling the masses access to her private shiit talking command center. everyone read it (don't lie. you read it) and felt dirty after reading, but strangely, not much was said about the whole thing. it was assumed people worked out their differences in private, and talk of creamed corn and pants pooping commenced once again.
the jovial talk didn't last long. shmemshmay's attack, while totally lame to the max, left lasting effects, much like the atomic bomb or that guy who comes by my desk and farts but never says anything about it. shmemshmay declared a new holiday, "Drama Liberation Day," in honor of the events that had unfolded. to the rebels' disbelief, she actually observed the conditions she set and faded into obscurity. however, true feelings had been outed, and there was a general distaste among the group for each other. things degenerated to the course of "let's get it all out in the open," which lasted for like five minutes, and then from there it oddly turned into a pretty forced puppies and rainbows fest. the group decided upon a new leader, who just defriended me from facebook for reasons unknown (guess she's not a fan of my work!) and agreed to move forward from camp. before long, they had found a new home. Unfortunately, little did they know the damage had been done. Lines were drawn in the sand, alliances had been made. insert cliche here. as much as they hated to admit it, shmemshmay's plan? well, it kinda worked. although the clan was safe in their new underground home, the general mood was restlessness.
some took it as a chance to start over with a clean slate. others took it as a springboard to come clean with their true feelings towards others. others still just wanted a place to talk about farts and sex, god damnit. all the while, a new voice rang from the sky. "Sheeple!" said the voice, "Remember who the true enemy is!" (read: the government, people who think addiction is a disease... or wait, is it the other way around?, and the economy. contrary to popular belief, the enemy is not olives. olives are awesome.) the voice said, "don't trust them, sheeple!" don't trust WHO, though? the bottom line was that nobody trusted anybody anymore. they'd seen too much. and let's face it, it's the internet. these things happen. despite our heroes' attempts to settle their differences, in some cases it just couldn't be done. The group was left to pick up the pieces. Some burrowed further underground. There is talk of a reunion at the old facebook camp, and some say that's where the party's at. Some have returned to where it all started, even though they say you can never go home. I don't know... can you?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My children. Book 3 has arrived.
YES!
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
Epic. She was BSC from day 1...this has been great entertainment for the afternoon. Thank you.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
Well done.
Online Photo Editor
Ok somewhere I missed book 2...
but 1 & 3 were great!
EPILOGUE:
as i sat on the back porch drinking iced tea (unsweetend. what do you think this is, the south?) i watched a little blonde boy with sparkling blue eyes run around in the sunlight. i thought back on the days when that child lived in my body. times were simpler then. sharks, jets, tales of blow up dolls at doctors appointments. we really did have it all back then. some days are just hard to get through after everything that happened. i'm just glad i have the good memories to hold on to. and then, other times, i just think to myself...
I FEEL BAD FOR YOUR HUSBANDS AND YOUR CHILDREN!
I'm gonna need this all in one post so I can read it easily in one sitting.
TYVM.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
This is freaking awesome.
I love that we have such a fantastic storyteller among us.
I'll have my secretary get right on that.
Is this the noose orgy or the goose orgy?
I killed the other one. Score one more for Hesta!
I love you.
A juice orgy,
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
Goose. It is ALWAYS the goose.
And you'll need a TPS cover sheet.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrdpliMfoAM
Anyone ever wonder what TB gods think when reading this shiiit? Personally,I think they need to make a slideshow of this story. It must live on forever.
A Frog, A Monkey and a Ladybug
Is it time for the question/answer portion?
Where did the sharks vs jets fit in?
<---------------------------------NOSY
I was never a part of any of that BS, but that was way back on the tri boards and pre-BGP, I believe.
that was back when all of you were annoying newbies.
It's cool, Im not really your biggest fan anyway.
I just spent the last 30 minutes reading the trilogy. Love it...and also olives. Yum.
I'm anxiously awaiting a blog post to show up on Drama Whores Unite. I know it's coming at some point.
ILY
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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I am absolutely floored that she hasn't at the very least sent someone in here by now. The only way she did not read any of this is if she has no Internet. And there's no way that would ever happen.
LOL. You hor.