How much is too much??

Rhianna89 · April 2012

My mom and best friend are throwing my baby shower. I've started sort of a "rough draft", I guess you cpuld call it, of my guest list. Ummm I have quite a bit of people to say the least =/ I don't want to overwhelm them (my mom and friend) with a lot of people. I recently moved, so basically my list includes old friends, coworkers, and family, all of which are coming from different locations. What's the largest group of people you Bumpies have seen at a shower??

Rhianna89 · April 2012

whoops typo *could

jenn6180 · April 2012

I would just ask them how many they can handle. You might not want too many people there anyway because it's hard to spend time with everyone and huge showers are impersonal

Mrs.Saxy · April 2012

I would only invite your very close co-workers. If you don't have any very close ones, then invite none.

I would only invite old friends that you talk to a few times a year, don't invite those that are old acquaintances.

I think I had 30 or 40 at one of my showers, but it was all MILs friends and family.

laurakaz13 · April 2012

Only family that live closeby, close friends you actually talk to each year, and very close coworkers you hang out with, or no coworkers at all. I would say 30-40 max and 40 is pushing it for me.

mmitche0 · April 2012

We invited 80.We think 40-50 will show up. 20ppl are from my team at work. I've only known them about 9 mos,but my boss insistthat we all go to each other events. 10 are from my old team. And the rest fam

Rhianna89 · April 2012

jenn6180:
I would just ask them how many they can handle. You might not want too many people there anyway because it's hard to spend time with everyone and huge showers are impersonal

I told both of them the amount I had and they were comfortable with it. I figured since it was part bbq I could socialize a lil bit more.

Rhianna89 · April 2012

Mrs.Saxy:

I would only invite your very close co-workers. If you don't have any very close ones, then invite none.

I would only invite old friends that you talk to a few times a year, don't invite those that are old acquaintances.

I think I had 30 or 40 at one of my showers, but it was all MILs friends and family.

Sad thing is, I actually already weeded those exactly people you said to leave out LOL. As far as coworkers, I can count them on one hand. Old friends, the ones I plan on inviting are the few that I do keep in contact with and have been checking on me during my pregnancy. Old acquaintances were left out from the begining lol. Oh yea, my mom is invited a few of her friends also so that added to the bunch

Rhianna89 · April 2012

laurakaz13:
Only family that live closeby, close friends you actually talk to each year, and very close coworkers you hang out with, or no coworkers at all. I would say 30-40 max and 40 is pushing it for me.

All of the friends I wanna invite are close friends, both mine and his, as well as old coworkers. As far as fam, all of them live close by. The rest of my fam are up North, and will be attending my 2nd shower, where I am living now.

Rhianna89 · April 2012

mmitche0:
We invited 80.We think 40-50 will show up. 20ppl are from my team at work. I've only known them about 9 mos,but my boss insistthat we all go to each other events. 10 are from my old team. And the rest fam

That's what I took into consideration also; the fact that I know everyone more than likely won't be able to show up. That's about how many are on my list also LOL.

tartaruga · April 2012

mmitche0:
We invited 80.We think 40-50 will show up. 20ppl are from my team at work. I've only known them about 9 mos,but my boss insistthat we all go to each other events. 10 are from my old team. And the rest fam

Surprise

EastCoastBride · April 2012

mmitche0:
but my boss insistthat we all go to each other events.

You do realize that this is absolutely out of the scope of the power your boss has, right? A shower is a PERSONAL event. Your boss really can't make you all invite one another to each others personal events. ANd if he really does try to weild this power, I'd be going to HR. Your personal life is just that- personal. Out of his scope entirely.

PunkyBooster · April 2012

EastCoastBride:
mmitche0:
but my boss insistthat we all go to each other events.
You do realize that this is absolutely out of the scope of the power your boss has, right? A shower is a PERSONAL event. Your boss really can't make you all invite one another to each others personal events. ANd if he really does try to weild this power, I'd be going to HR. Your personal life is just that- personal. Out of his scope entirely.

Whoa, for real.

I work in HR and we would absolutely be called into handle some outrageous demand such as that.

notkateanymore · April 2012

I had 60 people at my shower, but it was coed. I like big coed showers and small women only showers. The vibe is just different at each. That being said, I would ask your hostesses how many they are thinking and go from there.

laurakaz13 · April 2012

EastCoastBride:
mmitche0:
but my boss insistthat we all go to each other events.
You do realize that this is absolutely out of the scope of the power your boss has, right? A shower is a PERSONAL event. Your boss really can't make you all invite one another to each others personal events. ANd if he really does try to weild this power, I'd be going to HR. Your personal life is just that- personal. Out of his scope entirely.

Wow. Your boss cannot insist that anyone be invited to your shower. Seriously?

mmitche0 · April 2012

When I say he insist,I mean he treats everyone like family on the team and he kikes for everyone to support eachother. Our team is prettymuch closer than the other teams because of the way he runs the team. Everytime someone has an event or we have a team outting everyone showsup. With the exception of one or two if they had something pre planned. So I can expect the majority of my team to show up. And I do reallylike them all

dufferoo · April 2012

I once went to a shower with about 80-100 people there and all I did the whole time was gossip about how crass it was

I wasn't the only one.

pugznploons · April 2012

I have never been to a big shower but they seem to be the norm in some areas. Within my circle, and maybe in my area in general, you don't really mix groups for showers, you have several small ones: one for family, one for friends, one for co-workers (usually thrown by a co-worker at work). I don't like mixing people, it's too awkward! I've never been to a shower where I didn't know all the other guests because we were connected somehow (work, group of friends, church, etc).

if they tell you they can accomodate the number of people you told them, then it should be fine. Just don't feel like you have to invite all those people, keep it to the people that are important to you and will be active in your/your child's life.

KarmB · April 2012

so far 31 have rsvpd.

punkrockabye · April 2012

The room my parents rented at a pizza place holds 40 and we'll be pretty much at that number total, including DH and I. We'll have families though, so it's not necessarily 40 individual people invited separately. It's really however many your host can accommodate!

notkateanymore · April 2012

jociejones:
I once went to a shower with about 80-100 people there and all I did the whole time was gossip about how crass it was I wasn't the only one.

You seem like such a great guest.

Rhianna1981 · April 2012

I just wanted to respond to tell you that you have a cool name!

k.martell · April 2012

Is this shower co-ed? If so then I don't see a problem with 40 guests. If it's women only 30 may be better because you'll have time to give each person time to chat, tell them how the nursery is going, names, work plans PP, etc.

The more people the less time you have to interact. Most showers only last for 2-3 hours and you will probably take up an hour opening gifts, another 45m for eating (if you are providing a meal) and the remainder of the time saying hello & chatting with your guests.

Cranang · April 2012

40 people at a women's only shower would be MAX. Otherwise, I would seriously look at the MTB as incredibly gift-grabby. Anything over 40 should definitely be broken into two showers.

And seriously be mindful of who is invited...not everyone needs a shower invite. It's not the same level as a wedding.

dufferoo · April 2012

to Kate MW:

Hey I brought a nice gift! I think that's all that counted for that one!

notkateanymore · April 2012

jociejones:
to Kate MW:

Hey I brought a nice gift! I think that's all that counted for that one!

lol

rhubarb123 · April 2012

Invited 100...about 80 came (it was not a co-ed shower) and it wasn't mine (it was one I hosted). If your hosts are OK with the number then I wouldn't worry about it. I also wouldn't worry about "socializing" with everyone. That is not what it is about actually...IMO. I've hosted showers where there were only maybe 25 people and the MTB hardly socialized at all. I seriously don't think there is a "too much" if everyone invited are friends/family.

Rhianna89 · April 2012

KateMW:
I had 60 people at my shower, but it was coed. I like big coed showers and small women only showers. The vibe is just different at each. That being said, I would ask your hostesses how many they are thinking and go from there.

Thank you! Mine will be coed also, so that adds to it being so big. Both my mom and friend said they were cool with it so I feel a bit better

Rhianna89 · April 2012

pugznploons:

I have never been to a big shower but they seem to be the norm in some areas. Within my circle, and maybe in my area in general, you don't really mix groups for showers, you have several small ones: one for family, one for friends, one for co-workers (usually thrown by a co-worker at work). I don't like mixing people, it's too awkward! I've never been to a shower where I didn't know all the other guests because we were connected somehow (work, group of friends, church, etc).

if they tell you they can accomodate the number of people you told them, then it should be fine. Just don't feel like you have to invite all those people, keep it to the people that are important to you and will be active in your/your child's life.

Well I'm out of state from where my shower is being thrown (where my mom lives and I used to live) so it'll be a bit much to have several small ones, that's why I'm doing one big one. Everyone coming basically knows eachother somehow or another (work or school) so it wouldn't be awkward. I'm sure most of the guys will be outside during the game time anyway lol.

Rhianna89 · April 2012

Rhianna1981:
I just wanted to respond to tell you that you have a cool name!

haha thanks!! I love your name as well !!

Rhianna89 · April 2012

k.martell:

Is this shower co-ed? If so then I don't see a problem with 40 guests. If it's women only 30 may be better because you'll have time to give each person time to chat, tell them how the nursery is going, names, work plans PP, etc.

The more people the less time you have to interact. Most showers only last for 2-3 hours and you will probably take up an hour opening gifts, another 45m for eating (if you are providing a meal) and the remainder of the time saying hello & chatting with your guests.

Yup, it'll be coed. I actually slimmed down my list a bit so it's not as much as it was before lol. But It's mainly fam, and his guests also, that's why it got to be so many people.

Rhianna89 · April 2012

Cranang:

40 people at a women's only shower would be MAX. Otherwise, I would seriously look at the MTB as incredibly gift-grabby. Anything over 40 should definitely be broken into two showers.

And seriously be mindful of who is invited...not everyone needs a shower invite. It's not the same level as a wedding.

Well my list has over 40 people, not saying all will attend but I am far from being gift grabby. I invited them because they are family and friends. Not looking at it like "Hey how many gifts can I get out of these people" I'm quite offended by that comment. I'm not looking soley looking for gifts, I'm sharing my pregnancy and the birth of my child with the people I love.

Rhianna89 · April 2012

rhubarb123:
Invited 100...about 80 came (it was not a co-ed shower) and it wasn't mine (it was one I hosted). If your hosts are OK with the number then I wouldn't worry about it. I also wouldn't worry about "socializing" with everyone. That is not what it is about actually...IMO. I've hosted showers where there were only maybe 25 people and the MTB hardly socialized at all. I seriously don't think there is a "too much" if everyone invited are friends/family.

Thank you for that! Both of my hosts are fine with it, so I feel a lot better. Since I moved to another state I haven't physically seen a few of the people in a while. Talk to every day via phone, internet, yes. So, I would like to at least greet them individual (not so much socialize) or something of that nature.

Cranang · April 2012

Rhianna89:
Cranang:

40 people at a women's only shower would be MAX. Otherwise, I would seriously look at the MTB as incredibly gift-grabby. Anything over 40 should definitely be broken into two showers.

And seriously be mindful of who is invited...not everyone needs a shower invite. It's not the same level as a wedding.

Well my list has over 40 people, not saying all will attend but I am far from being gift grabby. I invited them because they are family and friends. Not looking at it like "Hey how many gifts can I get out of these people" I'm quite offended by that comment. I'm not looking soley looking for gifts, I'm sharing my pregnancy and the birth of my child with the people I love.

OH NO!! I offended you!! Confused I'm sorry, I thought you were asking for opinions. Were you only looking for opinions that justified your situation? I wasn't even rude in my first response...at all. Sorry that I obviously struck a chord...

There are ways to share your pregnancy and the birth of your child with people without soliciting them for stuff. If it's really just about being with people, put "Please no gifts" on the invite, and don't call it a shower.

Rhianna89 · April 2012

Cranang:
Rhianna89:
Cranang:

40 people at a women's only shower would be MAX. Otherwise, I would seriously look at the MTB as incredibly gift-grabby. Anything over 40 should definitely be broken into two showers.

And seriously be mindful of who is invited...not everyone needs a shower invite. It's not the same level as a wedding.

Well my list has over 40 people, not saying all will attend but I am far from being gift grabby. I invited them because they are family and friends. Not looking at it like "Hey how many gifts can I get out of these people" I'm quite offended by that comment. I'm not looking soley looking for gifts, I'm sharing my pregnancy and the birth of my child with the people I love.

OH NO!! I offended you!! I'm sorry, I thought you were asking for opinions. Were you only looking for opinions that justified your situation? I wasn't even rude in my first response...at all. Sorry that I obviously struck a chord...

There are ways to share your pregnancy and the birth of your child with people without soliciting them for stuff. If it's really just about being with people, put "Please no gifts" on the invite, and don't call it a shower.

No, not at all looking for "opininons to justify my situation" my question clearly said "What's the largest group of people you Bumpies have seen at a shower??" Unless I wrote it, or read it incorrectly, I do believe that wasn't an open discussion about what people thought about big showers Wink

Usually a rude person doesn't believe they are being rude. You must not be a big fan of baby showers if you think that's soliciting gifts, wonder what you think about weddings Hmm

I also said it's not JUST about the gift, but is that not one of the reasons for a shower?? I mean really. But to each its own.

Cranang · April 2012

Rhianna89:
Cranang:
Rhianna89:
Cranang:

40 people at a women's only shower would be MAX. Otherwise, I would seriously look at the MTB as incredibly gift-grabby. Anything over 40 should definitely be broken into two showers.

And seriously be mindful of who is invited...not everyone needs a shower invite. It's not the same level as a wedding.

Well my list has over 40 people, not saying all will attend but I am far from being gift grabby. I invited them because they are family and friends. Not looking at it like "Hey how many gifts can I get out of these people" I'm quite offended by that comment. I'm not looking soley looking for gifts, I'm sharing my pregnancy and the birth of my child with the people I love.

OH NO!! I offended you!! I'm sorry, I thought you were asking for opinions. Were you only looking for opinions that justified your situation? I wasn't even rude in my first response...at all. Sorry that I obviously struck a chord...

There are ways to share your pregnancy and the birth of your child with people without soliciting them for stuff. If it's really just about being with people, put "Please no gifts" on the invite, and don't call it a shower.

No, not at all looking for "opininons to justify my situation" my question clearly said "What's the largest group of people you Bumpies have seen at a shower??" Unless I wrote it, or read it incorrectly, I do believe that wasn't an open discussion about what people thought about big showers Usually a rude person doesn't believe they are being rude. You must not be a big fan of baby showers if you think that's soliciting gifts, wonder what you think about weddings I also said it's not JUST about the gift, but is that not one of the reasons for a shower?? I mean really. But to each its own.

Jesus. The title of your frickin' post was "How much is too much??" THAT was your question. And the word is "opinions", not whatever that trainwreck is you just wrote (OPININONS, in case you edit). The title of the post is a blatant invitation to discuss big showers. You DID write it. Are you high?

WEDDINGS are not a solicitation for gifts. WEDDING SHOWERS are. Many people bring presents to a wedding or send a gift, but the purpose of a wedding is to see two people married. The purpose of a wedding shower is to give gifts to a woman just starting her home. You might send out birth announcements and receive a gift, but that isn't the purpose of the birth announcement. Wedding shower equals baby shower. Wedding equals birth of baby. Am I dumbing this down enough? Because you are clearly confused.

PS--THIS time I was rude. See, I am self-aware.

Rhianna89 · May 2012

Cranang:
Rhianna89:
Cranang:
Rhianna89:
Cranang:

40 people at a women's only shower would be MAX. Otherwise, I would seriously look at the MTB as incredibly gift-grabby. Anything over 40 should definitely be broken into two showers.

And seriously be mindful of who is invited...not everyone needs a shower invite. It's not the same level as a wedding.

Well my list has over 40 people, not saying all will attend but I am far from being gift grabby. I invited them because they are family and friends. Not looking at it like "Hey how many gifts can I get out of these people" I'm quite offended by that comment. I'm not looking soley looking for gifts, I'm sharing my pregnancy and the birth of my child with the people I love.

OH NO!! I offended you!! I'm sorry, I thought you were asking for opinions. Were you only looking for opinions that justified your situation? I wasn't even rude in my first response...at all. Sorry that I obviously struck a chord...

There are ways to share your pregnancy and the birth of your child with people without soliciting them for stuff. If it's really just about being with people, put "Please no gifts" on the invite, and don't call it a shower.

No, not at all looking for "opininons to justify my situation" my question clearly said "What's the largest group of people you Bumpies have seen at a shower??" Unless I wrote it, or read it incorrectly, I do believe that wasn't an open discussion about what people thought about big showers Usually a rude person doesn't believe they are being rude. You must not be a big fan of baby showers if you think that's soliciting gifts, wonder what you think about weddings I also said it's not JUST about the gift, but is that not one of the reasons for a shower?? I mean really. But to each its own.

Jesus. The title of your frickin' post was "How much is too much??" THAT was your question. And the word is "opinions", not whatever that trainwreck is you just wrote (OPININONS, in case you edit). The title of the post is a blatant invitation to discuss big showers. You DID write it. Are you high?

WEDDINGS are not a solicitation for gifts. WEDDING SHOWERS are. Many people bring presents to a wedding or send a gift, but the purpose of a wedding is to see two people married. The purpose of a wedding shower is to give gifts to a woman just starting her home. You might send out birth announcements and receive a gift, but that isn't the purpose of the birth announcement. Wedding shower equals baby shower. Wedding equals birth of baby. Am I dumbing this down enough? Because you are clearly confused.

PS--THIS time I was rude. See, I am self-aware.

It's called a TYPO hun, hop off your high horse. That was the subject of my post, not the obvious question. Get over yourself, my goodness. I'm not confused at all, nor am I high. Maybe if you get your head out of your ass you can see other peoples points besides your own! Again, it says "How much is too much" regarding the AMOUNT of people at a shower, not what YOU THOUGHT about people "inviting too many people". EOC, you're posts are irrelevant to my question. Don't you have someone elses board to bother??

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