Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
girley75
member
Re: Secrets of a baby Whisperer
I've read it and was really, really not a fan. The judgey tone was very annoying. It also didn't seem based on much medical advice but rather her experience nannying, and it even contradicts American Academy of Pediatrics advice on at least one point (it's against feeding on demand).
It's great to read lots of different philosophies and techniques and to pick and choose what feels right for your family, and that may include some things that aren't part of the typical AP approach. That's what I try to do, but I'll be honest that I really found it hard to find anything to like in this particular book.
I read it on the advice of my sister in law and was mildly irritated the whole time. However, when I read the part where she says giving the baby a pacifier will help increase your supply, I just about lost it. She is clueless.
If you want to do the EASY method, okay, I guess (though it doesn't work for us because my daughter wouldn't sleep as long because she woke up from hunger before she was done resting). Just DO NOT take any of the rest of her advice as true without doing more research.
I hope I never meet that lady. We will have words.
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I agree with pp about her being anti BF and the tone of her writing is just awful.
However, I did pick up some useful tips. Ideas like "shushing and patting" LO to sleep work well for us. I feel like my LOs had me right there with them as they drifted to sleep and I've never had to nurse or rock LO to sleep. (not that I think nursing to sleep is bad but I do see a lot of posts from people wondering how to break that habit, also I think a lot of what works in getting your LO to sleep is more to do with their temperament/personal needs than anything else)
However she would consider me a "bad" parent because I'm not hardcore about how long between LOs feedings, and LO sleeps in our bed etc etc.
I guess to me it's like all books. Read it, consider it and then take on the ideas that gel with you.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
The tone is a bit preachy, but all self-help books have an 'opinion' tone.
I learned a lot from it. I did not want to pace floors or bounce all night, share my bed with a baby (except when my kid is sick -- that's a different story) or nurse to sleep. I also did not want to CIO. Pick up/put down (from the beginning -- not from 4 months) was amazing advice for us. I was able to go to my baby WHENEVER he needed me -- but I was also able to put him back down after a while so he could sleep and I could go back to bed with just my DH and get rest. I fed him whenever he needed and he made his own schedule quickly.
It wasn't a fairytale -- and I didn't expect it ever would be -- I realize some of this is my child's nature -- but not all of it.
When my son struggled at 6-7 months to sleep, we did do CIO. Suddenly he just became aware of "oh, I want to be in your room!" It was one suckass night and that was it and I think he was at an age where CIO wasn't so terrible (though it felt terrible!!). When he was 3 years old, sleep became difficult suddenly so for one week we did the 'older' version of pick up/put down -- we sat in a chair next to his bed and was just there for him. It was a long week but it paid off and he went back to being a good sleeper.
At times it sucked to lose those "we snuggle at night" moments. But when I felt that, I went to his crib and picked him up! And we have plenty of snuggles during the day.
I haven't read that book, but I know someone who met the author while she was doing a talk on the book (in Washington State, I believe). Apparently the author has no idea what to do with actual babies, and when some adoring fan tried to get her to hold the fan's baby, she just awkwardly held the baby away from her like you see people do on TV sitcoms.
It seems like if she doesn't know how to be close to babies, maybe she should be the baby shouter instead of the baby whisperer...can't expect the babies to hear you from a distance.
Even more interesting since she died before the popularity of the books. And yay for having strange babies pushed in your face all the time.
Her books were actually pretty popular in Canada and England for years before she died... She died November 2004 and was very popular in 2001.