Secrets of a baby Whisperer

girley75

Hello Ladies!  I am very pro Attachment Parenting. I have Dr. Sears book, and I agree with his methods. I just recently started reading "Secrets of a baby Whisperer"  I find some of her methods contradicting attachment parenting. I was just wondering if any of you have read it and what you thought.  For example, i nurse my baby to sleep (attachment parenting) but feel that the book is against that.

GrayGhost13

I've read it and was really, really not a fan. The judgey tone was very annoying. It also didn't seem based on much medical advice but rather her experience nannying, and it even contradicts American Academy of Pediatrics advice on at least one point (it's against feeding on demand).

It's great to read lots of different philosophies and techniques and to pick and choose what feels right for your family, and that may include some things that aren't part of the typical AP approach. That's what I try to do, but I'll be honest that I really found it hard to find anything to like in this particular book.

squeakbeth

I read it on the advice of my sister in law and was mildly irritated the whole time.  However, when I read the part where she says giving the baby a pacifier will help increase your supply, I just about lost it.  She is clueless. 

If you want to do the EASY method, okay, I guess (though it doesn't work for us because my daughter wouldn't sleep as long because she woke up from hunger before she was done resting).  Just DO NOT take any of the rest of her advice as true without doing more research.

I hope I never meet that lady.  We will have words. 

tokenhoser

I also didn't like her books/advice. Very unfriendly to breastfeeding and a generally condescending tone.

penguinem

Hmmm... I have a different take completely. I think the valuable things from that book that align with AP are to listen to your baby's cues and learn to respond to what they are asking for, specifically, to treat your baby as if he/she is an individual and a person with their own personality, temperment, etc from the get-go, and to encourage age appropriate interaction and activity without over stimulating baby or using baby "props". I don't ever remember her saying a paci would increase supply. My copy says pacifiers may be needed early to help with a need to suck but cautions against using them to "plug up" your baby instead of listening to his or her needs. As for EASY we do a modified version with feeding on demand too. My DD did great on this schedule, as an infant we did all naps in carriers which is against her "start as you mean to go on" philosophy but worked for us. Once DD could self soothe (thumb) she transitioned to crib naps. I BF until 26 months. We are roughly doing the same with DS. Any book can be valuable if you take the good parts, IMO.

KateLouise

I agree with pp about her being anti BF and the tone of her writing is just awful.

However, I did pick up some useful tips. Ideas like "shushing and patting" LO to sleep work well for us. I feel like my LOs had me right there with them as they drifted to sleep and I've never had to nurse or rock LO to sleep. (not that I think nursing to sleep is bad but I do see a lot of posts from people wondering how to break that habit, also I think a lot of what works in getting your LO to sleep is more to do with their temperament/personal needs than anything else)

However she would consider me a "bad" parent because I'm not hardcore about how long between LOs feedings, and LO sleeps in our bed etc etc. 

I guess to me it's like all books. Read it, consider it and then take on the ideas that gel with you. 

silvercamaro77

My book said to do EASY but I specifically remember her saying that if your baby is giving hunger cues feed him regardless of what point in the routine you are at.  Her method was somewhere between scheduling everything by the clock and doing everything completely on demand. She said that if you follow EASY your day will be more predictable because after eating baby will start being awake then getting tired, but if your baby is only awake for the burping and diaper change then shows tired cues to put him to bed immediately, do not keep him up just because it hasn't been x amount of time.  I felt like it was like setting up a bedtime routine but for the day- first we do this, then we do this, then baby goes to sleep. 

Temp108743750006959

The tone is a bit preachy, but all self-help books have an 'opinion' tone.

I learned a lot from it. I did not want to pace floors or bounce all night, share my bed with a baby (except when my kid is sick -- that's a different story) or nurse to sleep. I also did not want to CIO. Pick up/put down (from the beginning -- not from 4 months) was amazing advice for us. I was able to go to my baby WHENEVER he needed me -- but I was also able to put him back down after a while so he could sleep and I could go back to bed with just my DH and get rest. I fed him whenever he needed and he made his own schedule quickly.

It wasn't a fairytale -- and I didn't expect it ever would be -- I realize some of this is my child's nature -- but not all of it.

When my son struggled at 6-7 months to sleep, we did do CIO. Suddenly he just became aware of "oh, I want to be in your room!" It was one suckass night and that was it and I think he was at an age where CIO wasn't so terrible (though it felt terrible!!). When he was 3 years old, sleep became difficult suddenly so for one week we did the 'older' version of pick up/put down -- we sat in a chair next to his bed and was just there for him. It was a long week but it paid off and he went back to being a good sleeper.

At times it sucked to lose those "we snuggle at night" moments. But when I felt that, I went to his crib and picked him up! And we have plenty of snuggles during the day. 

terri_doula2010

I haven't read that book, but I know someone who met the author while she was doing a talk on the book (in Washington State, I believe). Apparently the author has no idea what to do with actual babies, and when some adoring fan tried to get her to hold the fan's baby, she just awkwardly held the baby away from her like you see people do on TV sitcoms.

It seems like if she doesn't know how to be close to babies, maybe she should be the baby shouter instead of the baby whisperer...can't expect the babies to hear you from a distance.

Temp108743750006959

terri.m.reid@gmail.com:

I haven't read that book, but I know someone who met the author while she was doing a talk on the book (in Washington State, I believe). Apparently the author has no idea what to do with actual babies, and when some adoring fan tried to get her to hold the fan's baby, she just awkwardly held the baby away from her like you see people do on TV sitcoms.

It seems like if she doesn't know how to be close to babies, maybe she should be the baby shouter instead of the baby whisperer...can't expect the babies to hear you from a distance.

 Even more interesting since she died before the popularity of the books. And yay for having strange babies pushed in your face all the time.  

Carla6394

vccake33:

terri.m.reid@gmail.com:

I haven't read that book, but I know someone who met the author while she was doing a talk on the book (in Washington State, I believe). Apparently the author has no idea what to do with actual babies, and when some adoring fan tried to get her to hold the fan's baby, she just awkwardly held the baby away from her like you see people do on TV sitcoms.

It seems like if she doesn't know how to be close to babies, maybe she should be the baby shouter instead of the baby whisperer...can't expect the babies to hear you from a distance.

 Even more interesting since she died before the popularity of the books. And yay for having strange babies pushed in your face all the time.  

 

Her books were actually pretty popular in Canada and England for years before she died... She died November 2004 and was very popular in 2001.