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Do I have to send a gift?

B&C03B&C03
in Parenting after 35
I know my friend (who I will be asking to be godmother to my DD when she is born) should have nothing to do with this but her friend invited us to her engagement party. The girl is a only a facebook friend who I only see when my friend has a gathering. I also donated $20 to a charity this girl was a part of. Well, to go the party would mean buying a gift or check and getting/paying for a babysitter for like 4-5 hours. DH and I have had a lot of medical deductibles for my IVF treatment last year and our dog had to have surgery recently. Top if off with preparing for the new baby and raising a toddler DH and I really do not want to go because we do not know the girl that well and having to get /pay for a sitter will be an additional expense. We also have my DH's nephews communion that we are giving a gift to. Is is rude not to send her a gift as well? What do I say as a reason for not going ... can't find a sitter?
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Re: Do I have to send a gift?

  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    A- It's an invitation, not a subpeona.  Just say "sorry, we can't make it". If pushed, sure, say "can't find a sitter".  But really - anyone who pushes is being rude.

    B- an engagement party is NOT a gift giving event. I know people will come w/ something, but really- I'd give a card at most and call it a day.  I personally dont' put any stock in "Oh, I'll be the only person who doesn't bring something!".

    ETA: So no, I would not "send" a gift.

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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    I am totally not getting why you were even invited to this party since you are not friend with her, from what you have said I am not even sure why you are FB friends with her but that is besides the point.  It sounds to me that she is a friend of a friend and I for one would not go and would not send a gift.  Sounds like she is searching for people to include in her celebration.  Now if she was someone that you saw regulary, could see more of a friendship forming over time, I could see sending a little something but I just don't get that feeling from you here.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • PeskyPesky member
    Decline politely with the stock "so sorry, but we have other plans" excuse (she doesn't need to know your plans are sitting in front of the tv with microwave pizza).  Do not send a gift -- the invite alone is kind of gift-grubbing in nature due to your tenuous relationship so none is required.  Pray you do not get invited to the wedding.


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  • steverstever member
    Just don't go. If you do go, buy a gift.

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