The police were called to daycare WWYD?

KiKiGee · April 2012

Today I picked up DS a bit early.

The kids in his class were riding on the buggy so I picked him up from it and brought him to the mostly empty class to get his things. Inside were a set of twins, their parents and a teacher from the boys previous class (all 3 were recently moved up a class at the same time)... Packing up their things.

The mom - who has never said more than 2 words to me before - asked me if DS had any unexplained bruises since switching classes. I said he hadn't but he had been bitten by another child on Friday. She then told me that one of her boys had a large bruise on his inner thigh that looked like fingerprints and that they filed a police report . Then she said that her boys had been "disenrolled" because they called the police. I then noticed the owner/director had come in. I asked her if that was true and she said there was more to it than that and she would be happy to meet with me in the morning if I had any concerns.

I admit I wasn't the most astute because I was kind of dumbfounded. I said to the mom "so you're no longer going to bring the boys here" and she said that they'd been disenrolled ... They were packing up their things. The dad said some things under his breath that I didn't really hear and it was very uncomfortable so I kind of just left. (yes, looking back I should've asked the parents more questions).

I have been taking DS to this center since he was 7months. I have always LOVED it and his teachers and felt totally comfortable. Every time he has had any kind of bump or bruise there has been a report. He has not had any - save this one bite - in this new class. He is happy there. he is learning and growing there. I feel heard and genuinely like the people I've met.

I am shocked at this. Also shocked at why you would bring your child back to a place you have filed a police report about...

Im going to meet with the owner/director tomorrow but I don't even know what to ask.

I don't want to take ANY chances with my little guy, but I also don't want to be part of something that's not rational.

For what it's worth they have cameras EVERYWHERE and a very, very open floor plan with lots of glass and windows ... There is literally no where for anything hidden to happen.

I cannot believe the cops came to daycare to investigate child abuse. Holy cr@p.

What do I do? What should I ask?

DS has been in the new room for 2 weeks. One of the teachers moved up with him. Two are new to us but not to the center.

Any advice? Thanks for reading this. Sorry it's so long and rambling.

KiKiGee · April 2012

Yikes. That is scary. I would pull my DS out if they didn't call 911 as well. But that's kind of the hitch here. If I legitimately thought someone abused my child.... Enough to call the police... There's no way in heck I would bring him back to those caregivers. I'm having a hard time reconciling that behavior.... That you believe the child has been abused but you still leave him there?

dundasgirl · April 2012

I think you need to get more information both from the director and from the whoever it is that licenses daycares. They must have to file incident reports right? You would be able to find out what happened that way maybe?

I can't believe you can be "disenrolled" for calling the police?!?! That sounds really really wrong to me. BUT I agree with you, I wouldn't be bringing my kids to a place that I thought abused them.

I would think also that if there are cameras everywhere that the director would have a video of the incident?

efooey · April 2012

I have some perspective from the other side.

My mom has run an in home daycare for 30 years. A small income daycare, only infant to age 2 and never more than 4 babies which is within the state rules. Since it is so small, she knows all the families very well, most of her enrollment is word of mouth, co-workers, siblings etc.

About 2 years ago she got a call out of the blue from a detective about a child she had. The kid was kinda cranky that day and my mom told the parents and they decided to take her in for a check up. The doc found a broken leg and then alerted the police. It was agreed by all parties that the child wouldn't come back. There was a short investigation and my mom was cleared of all charges.

the parents might have called the cops or if they went to the doc's and they called. I'm sure a lawyer for either side would tell them to switch day cares. You have every right to be concerned but remember there are two sides to every story. I'm not sure a suspicious bruise would be enough to worry me. How many times have you looked you kid over and said "where did that come from?".

Mouseygail · April 2012

Hmm...I hope you can get more info asap and make an informed decision! But the "disenrolling" doesn't seem odd to me. They are a business...it is their right to not allow someone to come, especially if cops are called in and such. Just like they have a right to ask someone to not bring their child back for behavioral issues, etc. (FWIW, my DCP is currently in the process of "disenrolling" a child due to her behavioral issues)

UsedToBeGoldie · April 2012

i would not rush to pull my child out.

parents can be INSANE and call the police for really dumb things.

I used to work in daycare - and was a teacher for 5 years. when i was doing my student teaching the police came once to investigate a claim that a preK child made about the teacher I was working with.... the child said that Miss B pulled up her skirt and showed her vagina and did a vagina song with the class. WHAAAAAT?

Not only was I in the class every day - but there were 2 teacher's aids in the class every day --- this most certainly did NOT happen- but a crazy child made it up - and it caused HELL for the teacher while it got sorted out.

A child can get a bad bruise from 100 things... My kids are constantly getting them while at HOME with me - so I would never rush to judge when they get one at daycare.

I would talk to the director and:

a) find out why they were "disenrolled" - is it policy if someone calls the police to do so? and if not- why were THEY disenrolled? are there problems they've had with them in the past? (do realize they might not tell you much other than it being policy or not... b/c of privacy issues).

b) find out if any changes will be made with the teachers in that room b/c of the complaint to the police.

c) how will parents be notified in the future of any further action with this family/police, etc.

then base your decision off of that - and the feeling you get from the director. Gut feelings mean a lot.... and if you feel badly you simply can't be comfortable bringing your child there every day - but always keep in mind that MANY times it's all about crazy parents- and nothing bad with the teachers.

superned · April 2012

Have you ever checked with your state's licensing agency to see if there are any substantiated complaints against the center? I would start there.

I would tread very carefully when meeting with the director. She cannot tell you anything about the family that was dis-enrolled without violating their confidentiality. That would be a HUGE deal breaker for me. I understand that you are worried for your child, but they cannot give you any details about what happened to the other child, period.

I work with child care providers for a living, so I know that false allegations are made all the time. I also know that sometimes really horrible, despicable things happen to children in child care. I would call licensing for a list of substantiated complaints (which are public record), meet with the director to talk about the center's policies (and have her respond to any complaints that you find, if you want), and then trust your instincts. There's no way you're going to get the full, true story here, I'm afraid.

GuitaristsGirl · April 2012

superned:

Have you ever checked with your state's licensing agency to see if there are any substantiated complaints against the center? I would start there.

I would tread very carefully when meeting with the director. She cannot tell you anything about the family that was dis-enrolled without violating their confidentiality. That would be a HUGE deal breaker for me. I understand that you are worried for your child, but they cannot give you any details about what happened to the other child, period.

I work with child care providers for a living, so I know that false allegations are made all the time. I also know that sometimes really horrible, despicable things happen to children in child care. I would call licensing for a list of substantiated complaints (which are public record), meet with the director to talk about the center's policies (and have her respond to any complaints that you find, if you want), and then trust your instincts. There's no way you're going to get the full, true story here, I'm afraid.

First, huge ((hugs)) as this must be so stressful.

Second, the above seems like good advice.

I don't think the fact that the family was asked to leave is a sign of guilt. If it was a blatantly false/ unfounded 911 call - then they could have been asked to leave so that the center doesn't have to deal with such nonsense any more. I personally am familiar with a daycare worker who was fired for filing a false report with CPS against another teacher; once it was determined 100% that the report was BS and stemmed from nothing more than a personal conflict - you can't keep that kind of drama around, kwim?

I also can't imagine leaving my kids in the care of someone about whom I had called 911. I get the reasons a previous poster mentioned for doing so - but still. I just can't imagine.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't automatically assume the worst.

In addition to checking with the licensing agency, you can get the 911 record/ police report/ etc - that's all public record. Although.. . I'm also a fan of going with your gut. If you feel compelled to go to such lengths, then maybe you ought to move LO just for peace of mind, kwim?

GL.

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