- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
September 2011 Moms
srj88
member
I'm so desperate (sleep related)
srj88
member
I am so desperate when it comes to LO's sleep. I'm wondering if anyone else has been in the same boat and found something that works.
LO has always been a bad sleeper. She co-slept with us for a few months, but I'm such a deep sleeper that some bad things could have happened and we decided that had to stop. She's slept in her pack 'n play for the last 4 months, but she wakes up 5-6 times a night (in an eight hour period) and always wants to nurse back to sleep. Lately, she won't even do that. She starts screaming every time we put her down in her pack 'n play.
We've tried CIO, and she just screams for hours (literally hours) and can't ever calm herself down. I've tried checking in on her while crying, too, and that just makes her more upset. I've tried staying with her the whole time she cries (singing and talking to her), but that doesn't work, either. The last few nights have been so bad that I've let her sleep with me, and she sleeps for about five hours straight, eats once, and then sleeps another four or five hours. So obviously the problem is that she just wants to be with me. How can I help her learn to sleep on her own?
Also, she won't nap. The only way she's ever taken naps is in my Moby wrap. But it's getting too hot for that, and she's getting kind of big for it. Any ideas would be so much appreciated!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm so desperate (sleep related)
There are other sleep training methods you could try. Good luck!
Are you rushing right to her at every little noise? I did that with my LO for awhile then realized that if I gave her a few minutes she'd go back to sleep or she was never really awake at all just making noise in her sleep.
My time limit was 10-15 minutes if she was still talking/fussing I'd go in to her.
That is hard, I have a bad sleeper too.
There are so many insane factors to a baby's sleep - temperature, clothing, light, noise, etc etc. Do you have a crib to try in another room instead of the p&p? As scary as it may be, a crib might give her more room to wiggle in, and the mattress might be more comfortable.
We've tried different noise machines(none ever worked), nightlight and no nightlight (he wants the nightlight), he was swaddled for his first 5 months (could you try a chest only swaddle for naps? It might give her a sense of security like she feels in the moby, maybe pair it with a heartbeat white noise?). Ultimately, we found that he is very particular to temperature - he likes it a little warmer than recommended (about 72-73 from the recommended 68-70, I believe), and he was tired of his sleep sack. He also has a lovey in his bed that is made with his favored fabric (some kids like fleece, silky, etc).
What about folding your moby wrap around her crib mattress - it smells like you, maybe it'll help her? We did this when J was sick last time, only it was DH's tshirt (he was favoring daddy that time).
Ditto shelley, our pedi said 3 horrible days for CIO. Are you using any sleep aids? Is she still in your room? Q was sleeping very poorly and then we moved him into his own room and he was good within two nights. Not being able to hear us and our sleeping sounds was beneficial to his sleep.
He has the precious planets mobile and a sleep sheep. We still use both when we put him to bed. The mobile distracts him from getting upset when we put him down and the white noise lulls him to sleep.
I know the pedi recommends against it, but I also sometimes put a little toy in with LO. If he is happy and distracted, he doesn't cry and if he doesn't cry, he eventually nods off.
I think you're right. I've got to somehow keep her from getting so upset, and that might help. I'm going to look into a projection mobile, too . . .
Just don't let her cry for 4 hours straight, that's not going to do any good for anyone. Have consistent check ins with her if she's crying, maybe every 10 minutes? It'll be exhausting, prepare yourself for it. You can go in, talk to her, tell her it's ok and it's time to sleep, rub her back a little bit so she knows your there, but don't stay long (30 seconds max was recommended in the Sleep Easy Method of sleep training). There's also the difference between fussing and crying. If he's fussing, I let him be and don't do any check ins, because he's trying to work it out himself. If he's crying, I do check ins.
Have you tried putting her down drowsy but awake? Do you have a consistent bedtime routine - if so, what is it? J's is bath, (then to his bedroom, with dim lights) lotion massage, diaper, pajamas (then to the glider in his room and turn out the light, except for his nightlight), where he drinks his bottle, he pulls away from me (arches his back out), which is his signal of "Put me down mom!". I give him a kiss, lay him in his bed, binky in, lovey in his arms, walk out, close the door.
Our bedtime routine is a bath, nursing, and then listening to music until she falls asleep. I've tried putting her down drowsy, but she just gets mad. Of course, sometimes I think that's because she's too tired and can't handle it.
My LO always goes to sleep with his little stuffed monkey. When he was younger I always took it out of the crib after he fell asleep. Now that he is older I just move it to the edge so he can see it and grab it if he wants it. He also loves to snuggle and cover his eyes/face with a burp cloth. I let him have one till he falls asleep and as soon as he is asleep I take it out of the crib.
I have a bad sleeper too.
My first advice is this: Be Consistent.
If you are ready to move her to her crib, do it and stick with it. Moving from your bed, to the crib, to the PnP, and not being consistent just confuses her. And then, come up with your bedtime routine and CIO routine and again, stick with it.
And then, like Ms suggested, experiment with sleep aids, but only change one thing at a time. Keep everything else the same but try adding a white noise machine for a couple nights, try different pj options, nightlights, using a blanket, etc.
For us, A just wants mommy and specifically wants to nurse. So DH is the one who goes to check on him when he wakes because if I go in, game over, he's focused on nursing and that's the only thing that will fix the problem.
He's still a bad sleeper, but he's better than he used to be and we're better at dealing with it so I consider that progress.
I've definitely noticed a difference of when he is overtired. According to the sleep easy method book, by the time she rubs her eyes and yawns, she's already overtired. Try to watch her really closely for a glassy look in her eye, and J gets puffy eyes lol.
I'm also a firm believe that they still smell us and that hinders it too. If she's in her own room, she can't smell you and think "hold me! feed me!".
Our pedi also said not to pick him up once he has gone into his crib. That is really rough sometimes and occasionally (like if we have a diaper malfunction) not always feasible, but i have found it helps. When we go in there now to comfort him, he doesn't freak out when that we aren't picking him up. It calms him down to just have us there rubbing his back and talking to him.
Last night he kept fussing and crying and I went in and just sat next to his crib. He kept laying his head down then waking up and looking at me. As soon as he saw I was there hed put his head back down. After a few times, he fell asleep and was out all night. I think knowing if he really wants me I'll be there is enough to comfort him for the night.
Um, this totally just made me tear up! I always feel awful listening to him crying when DH goes to check on him because I know he wants mommy. I love BFing but sometimes I wish I could just be mom rather than mom+BFer.
Mine doesn't really mind the light. I have blinds plus regular curtains in his room so I try to make it as dark as possible. I struggle to keep him awake past 7:30pm and it's quite light at that point still. But I just close the blinds and curtains and do my bedtime routine.
agree
This - we have blinds, and regular brown curtains, so it darkens it up enough for him. Plus, I always shut the door (and open it when we go to bed) so light from the living room doesn't keep him awake.
I have blackout curtains which help but the best $20 I ever spent was the BlackoutEZ (google that) it velcros to the window and blocks 99% of light. It totally helps DD for naps and now bedtime since it is light out when she goes to bed -- she is a wreck for naps elsewhere (except daycare where she miraculously sleeps in broad daylight in a PNP in the middle of a room).