admittedly strange post- not SAIF related

kellz · April 2012

ok, so I've gotten a lot of crap lately (okay, ALWAYS) about not being, ahem, ""in the mood". DH's extensive research has yeilded the gem that the "average" couple do it 3x's a week. (yeah, I'm talking about what you think). So, I'm curious. Is that even realistic? For a working mom who is TRYING to keep her baby and house under control and decnt, and I'm supposed to just walk around ready to jump and roll around in the bed rather than GET STUFF DONE? Poll time: 3x's a week?! yes or no? I just want to see if I'm really in the minority here- he's DRIVING ME CRAZY! I mean, I know I'm a sexy beast, but a girl's got to rest!!!

BeccaLandes · April 2012

we didn't do it 3x a week before we had kids. i don't know who they polled, but they lied. 2x a week is a "good" week over here.

dana316 · April 2012

Yeah, that's pretty normal for us when things are good. It is important for our relationship, and honestly, how long does it take? If I aim to be in bed at 10:00, but I'm not asleep until 10:30, what did I miss??

We're awesome at the quickie when we need to be ;-)

DrVWife · April 2012

3x a week?!? ha! We are counting it a good week with 1x...2x or more would be cause for major celebration. Wink

emiannie · April 2012

BeccaLandes:
we didn't do it 3x a week before we had kids. i don't know who they polled, but they lied. 2x a week is a "good" week over here.

Same here. More realistically it's once a week.

LIAngel · April 2012

I better not show this post to my DH. 3x a week, he would think he died and went to Heaven.

jenber77 · April 2012

DrVWife:
3x a week?!? ha! We are counting it a good week with 1x...2x or more would be cause for major celebration.

Ditto. More than once a week is practically unheard of.

kellz · April 2012

Thanks ladies...keep 'em coming (no pun intended- LOL). I'm feeling better about our OWN "average"

itsmyangel · April 2012

Sex hasn't really been super enjoyable for me....i have some strange thing that down there is pretty painful add that to whatever else I have going on and I've never been the "horny" person I guess......so i feel awful for DH but i'll admit we're probably in the 2x a month category

before baby i'd say probably 1x a week

Mouseygail · April 2012

Ha! Yeah right... Not even close except for when we are TTC. Once upon a time, sure... Not anymore!

RoxBride · April 2012

2x is about right for us. We may hit 3 times on occassion, but that's like 5 min meet me in the shower moments, so not exactly fancy schmancy stuff.

emmyloustu · April 2012

Try 3x since Lydia was born 7 months ago! LOL! 3x a week was never really a reality for us - I struggle with low libido and BCP and breastfeeding are not kind to my drive. 3x a week maybe when I was pregnant because I was always in the mood and of course, when we were young and carefree.

I try to make intimacy of some kind (read:BJ) happen once a week or ten days. Dh is a much happier person when he is gettin some action. LOL!

IBackBevo · April 2012

I don't know if we even had sex 3 x's a week on our honeymoon...well, okay, maybe then. But for the rest of our relationship, we have never had sex that often except when ttc. I think these polls are answered by a bunch of liars...or men trying to brag.

SeaSoul · April 2012

ha! no way. we were a 1-2 times/month couple even before kids (okay, the early years of our relationship were much more active). less now. well, i take that back - we were back to about once or twice/month before i got pg again. fortunately, dh is not a "typical" guy who wants it all the time. after i had cal i had a revved up sex drive, but after my 2nd pregnancy, with a 3-year-old too, i have virtually no sex drive. and dh is the same way (especially now that he's a SAHD)!

i'm sorry you're getting pressure.

lillinzlou · April 2012

3 times a week is a slow week for us. I have vowed to rarely say noto DH. It makes him feel loved and he, in turn, does what I need to make mefeel loved. We are very happy.

mikiesgirl70106 · April 2012

I'm late to the party... But I'm with the rest of the girls 1-2xs a week is a good week!! We are on a very dry spell over here lately and it sucks!!

amberleeb · April 2012

Before kids we were at least 3 times a week. Durning PG maybe once a month. After baby we were about 1-2 times a week.

ela81 · April 2012

Well, right now I'm pretty sure my medication has totally sucked every ounce of my sex drive out of me. Right now we only do it every couple of weeks (this is as "dry" as it's ever been). When I'm not on my medication I would say it's more like 1-2x a week, on occasion more but, more is not the norm. There was a time when 3x a week or more was the norm but that was long ago... I feel kind of bad right now about my total lack of intrest, I'm about to lower my dose and hope I get some kind of drive back.

perry7285 · April 2012

we struggle too with DH having more of a drive than me, but even he doesn't expect 3x a week. we try for 1x and that's probably our average. it's so tough to be a tired busy mom and feel pressure with this, i'm sorry that you're dealing with this. =(

crystalgirl · April 2012

I definitely get where you're coming from and have plenty of those "are you kidding me" moments, but I'd actually suggest trying to give in more frequently... See how you feel about it if you just commit to doing that for a while. We've found that the more frequently we do, the more willing we are to do it frequently. It's circular. And as Dana said, it's not like it's a major time commitment, really... Just food for thought.

Anyway, to answer the actual question, we are very irregular. Sometimes 3 days in a row, sometimes nothing at all for a few weeks. But we are both happier and have a better relationship in all respects when we're not currently in a dry spell.

Hang in there!

Dragonfly1226 · April 2012

No way! Once a week... Twice if it's a good week

Germanwife2b · April 2012

I hate to admit this...but we haven't done it since November :-( Granted, some of that time I was HUGELY pregnant and then postpartum, but my daughter is 4 months old now and still nothing. I have ZERO sex drive and we have issues in our marriage besides this (although I believe that it is all related). Before kids, we were maybe 2-4 times a month unless actively TTC. We suck!!!

dundasgirl · April 2012

We do it 3x a week on average. DH and I have been together for 17 years (holy crap!) and it's an important part of our relationship. It makes us both feel good about ourselves and each other.