Things they didn't tell you about delivery & parenting

Junebug060609 · April 2012

Totally stealing this, with a tweak, from PgAL to liven things up over here.

Share something nobody told you ahead of time that would've been useful to know before delivery or becoming a parent...

HeatherPB1020 · April 2012

No one told me what kinda of GROSSNESS comes out... you know.. down there... after delivery.

MissAutumn · April 2012

No one told me that breastfeeding was so hard and not so natural.

martinimomma · April 2012

MissAutumn:
No one told me that breastfeeding was so hard and not so natural.

Second this. Also, even though I used to be a NICU nurse, I felt very poorly prepared for colic in DS' case, and the fact that I was a certifiable basket case for like 2 months after delivery. I am not a crier (well, I wasnt) and I was in tears every day and often multiple times a day. That threw me for a loop.

Izabella22 · April 2012

MissAutumn:
No one told me that breastfeeding was so hard and not so natural.

This!

And that the reason that women dread the first BM after delivery is because it pretty much feels like pushing out another kid... except this time you know how bad its gonna hurt and you're already damaged!

Mrs_Est11.11.06 · April 2012

MissAutumn:
No one told me that breastfeeding was so hard and not so natural.

this = my epic fail Crying

xoladiebug · April 2012

I had an unplanned c-section and so a lot of what happened was different from what I expected. I will say that out of everything, I had no idea how painful it would be to move around after the c-section. Also, to add to that, I had NO IDEA that THAT many people would see my vajay-jay that day and the day following.

tew213 · April 2012

I always heard having a baby felt like pressure in your "bottom" and like you have to poop. IDK about anyone else but that 'pressure' was nothing like any BM pain I've ever felt! I may or may not have screamed "My butthole" during pushing (insert the embarrassed face that I can't put in from my phone).

Oh and the meds you may get from too much bleeding after delivery - not fun!

And like pp said- BFing is HARD.

NeenyW · April 2012

1) breastfeeding is not for weenies. Good grief - we've battle a tongue tie, under supply, a breast cancer scare, over supply, vasospasms, cracked bleeding nipples, thrush, and lots of food intolerances (seems like I eat rice and air). It's easier now and I'm so happy we made it through all those challenges.

2) Colic is insane. It will make you want to run off with the circus, but hang in there it better.

3) TMI alert - Post partum discharge/bleeding in the first days after delivery stinks like nothing you can imagine. It's like a sweet, rotting smell. I asked 3 separate nurses just to make sure my insides weren't rotting out.

Junebug060609 · April 2012

Delivery-

*I wish someone had told me to have finished packing my bag before I got to full term. Weeks left to pack it...hahahaha.

*I was wholy unprepared for my delivery to take the course it did. Thank goodness for the PgAL mentality of 'as long as baby and I are alright' or I'd have gone BSC. Very little but that went as we'd hoped.

*That I was at risk for Pre-e and that I'd be in the hospital for 5 freaking days.

*That I wouldn't fall head over heels in love with DS the second I saw him. I love him to peices, don't get me wrong, but it took me until he and I had some time alone for everything to sink in.

*That though I'd feel like I just got hit by a truck, there was no rest for the weery. Exhaustion or not, stitches or not, IV or not...I had to get my butt up out of that bed every three hours and try and feed him.

*How awkward bf is at first

Parenting-

*That there would be days when I would miss my old life and the time I used to have to myself.

*That the flipside to having to do those 3am feedings is gazing into the eyes of a miracle.

*That when you are unsure what to do you have to do what you think is best...and then second guess yourself.

*That 5 hours of sleep (in a row!) could feel so damn good.

*Regarding BFing, how hard it can be to push through the challenges presented...and how good it feels to get a thumbs up at the doctors and hear he's growing well. Its worth it to push on through.

williams4me · April 2012

Um, how about the worst part of your c-section and recovery combined will be the constipation from the pain killers!! omg! That was not a fun first week after his birth!!

EricaK28 · April 2012

1. Breastfeeding is really hard. In the first two months I really struggled with supply/latch and she had jaundice.

2. I had epitosomy after childbirth and I hurt for about 2 or 3 weeks down there after childbirth.

hopeandlove0417 · April 2012

1- Was NOT prepared for an episiotomy. And I had no idea you could tear on the inside..

2- I swelled up so bad it was like I had two bananas between my legs.

3- the discharge/bleeding afterwards, like pp said it smells horrible.

4-I honestly did not realize that my va jay jay would be so popular. I think every nurse in ward came in those last few minutes.

5- breastfeeding is the hardest thing I ever I had to do in my life.

NY-allie · April 2012

1 - Passing clots the size of plums is normal for the 1st day after delivery

2- Everyone and their brother would want to know if I had pooped yet

3- How long it takes between asking for an epidural and getting it (15m but felt like forever)

I'll admit I seem to be in the minority with this one - how natural and easy BFing is/was. Both DD and DS took to it like champs.

jinx75 · April 2012

After giving birth to Madeleine the one thing they didn't tell me, well the one thing someone actually lied about, is that two children are A LOT HARDER than one!!! Someone actually told me two kids is just like having one. WTFever!!! Our house is complete and total chaos 24/7, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

rosenb2b · April 2012

Junebug060609:

Delivery-

*I wish someone had told me to have finished packing my bag before I got to full term. Weeks left to pack it...hahahaha.

*I was wholy unprepared for my delivery to take the course it did. Thank goodness for the PgAL mentality of 'as long as baby and I are alright' or I'd have gone BSC. Very little but that went as we'd hoped.

*That I was at risk for Pre-e and that I'd be in the hospital for 5 freaking days.

*That I wouldn't fall head over heels in love with DS the second I saw him. I love him to peices, don't get me wrong, but it took me until he and I had some time alone for everything to sink in.

*That though I'd feel like I just got hit by a truck, there was no rest for the weery. Exhaustion or not, stitches or not, IV or not...I had to get my butt up out of that bed every three hours and try and feed him.

*How awkward bf is at first

Parenting-

*That there would be days when I would miss my old life and the time I used to have to myself.

*That the flipside to having to do those 3am feedings is gazing into the eyes of a miracle.

*That when you are unsure what to do you have to do what you think is best...and then second guess yourself.

*That 5 hours of sleep (in a row!) could feel so damn good.

*Regarding BFing, how hard it can be to push through the challenges presented...and how good it feels to get a thumbs up at the doctors and hear he's growing well. Its worth it to push on through.

This is a pretty darn great summary!!

I think in pregnancy, everyone leaves out the nasty parts (snail trail, nasty discharge PP, etc) because they think the new baby overshadows all of the negative. Heck, I'd never even heard of a MP until I got on here with DS1!

ellebelle2384 · April 2012

Totally agree about breastfeeding. Also that the first 8 weeks are really really tough and its okay to not feel a bond at first. It will come.

princesscb22 · April 2012

jinx75:
After giving birth to Madeleine the one thing they didn't tell me, well the one thing someone actually lied about, is that two children are A LOT HARDER than one!!! Someone actually told me two kids is just like having one. WTFever!!! Our house is complete and total chaos 24/7, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't know who told you that, but I would agree it's a lie! DH and I just discussed this a couple weeks ago, and we both agreed that going from 0 to 1 is hard and from 1 to 2 is hard, but any more than that was actually pretty easy. Mainly because your house is already chaotic, so a new baby just slides right in easily! Big Smile

Just in case you were thinking of having more..... Wink

magdalina.h · April 2012

MissAutumn:
No one told me that breastfeeding was so hard and not so natural.

True story!

No one told me how bad my feet would swell after a c/s.

jinx75 · April 2012

princesscb22:

jinx75:
After giving birth to Madeleine the one thing they didn't tell me, well the one thing someone actually lied about, is that two children are A LOT HARDER than one!!! Someone actually told me two kids is just like having one. WTFever!!! Our house is complete and total chaos 24/7, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't know who told you that, but I would agree it's a lie! DH and I just discussed this a couple weeks ago, and we both agreed that going from 0 to 1 is hard and from 1 to 2 is hard, but any more than that was actually pretty easy. Mainly because your house is already chaotic, so a new baby just slides right in easily!

Just in case you were thinking of having more.....

Nooooo....no no no!!! The shop is closed for future business. Two is plenty for us both.

Sonadora · April 2012

No one prepared me for how bad sleep deprivation can be and what it can do to you. Or that my kid might not sleep for more than 1-2 hours at a time until she was 8 months old and never once through the night until 11.5 months. That sort of accumulated sleep dreprivation does bad things to you.

lax15bsu · April 2012

That you'll still look 6 months pregnant when you leave the hospital. And for a while after.

karma79 · April 2012

No one told me that my PP hormones would be 1 million times worse than my PG hormones.

The first 2 weeks I actually thought I had lost my mind and was completely incapable of caring for myself let alone a baby! (Thankfully I was wrong... mostly, lol)

Junebug060609 · April 2012

hopeandlove0417:

1- Was NOT prepared for an episiotomy. And I had no idea you could tear on the inside..

2- I swelled up so bad it was like I had two bananas between my legs.

3- the discharge/bleeding afterwards, like pp said it smells horrible.

4-I honestly did not realize that my va jay jay would be so popular. I think every nurse in ward came in those last few minutes.

5- breastfeeding is the hardest thing I ever I had to do in my life.

Word. They told me they'd stitched me up inside and out and I was like, "Whaaa???"

OregonPachey · April 2012

I agree wholeheartedly about breastfeeding not being easy.

That your emotions would be all over the place. I was unprepared for the baby blues and then subsequently my PPD issue.

lauralew · April 2012

I wasn't prepared for how babies would change my relationship with other people. It has caused some drama between my mom and me, someone I was really close with. Justin and I have had some of the biggest fights of our relationship, but also the best, sweetest, and most love filled moments of our lives. And my mother in law has proved to be the most helpful and understanding, when I thought she would be opinionated and judgey.

On a funnier note, no one told me that baby girls pee on you just as much (if not more) than boys do.

WearingRed · April 2012

That I would have to be the one telling our families to back off. She is our daughter and we will do what is best for her as we see fit.

That epiduals could take forever to ware off. And that nurses would want to measure my pee until I peed out the salient crap they put in me. Really where was anyone saying yes you could not feel you legs for like 12 13 hours after its taken out. FYI epiduals can last past delivery if you are a medication light weight! Wearing off early isn't the only way they can go.

mundayem · April 2012

No one told me that the epidural could stop working so that I felt every contraction and the entire delivery, but that half my right leg would stay numb for a month.

Also that I could be in labor, in the worst pain of my life, but progressing so slowly that they sent me home from L&D.

And I don't care what anyone says, breastfeeding hurts, and for awhile.

And 3 months later my lady bits still aren't back to normal thanks to internal tearing.

OCIrishBruin · April 2012

I will echo the comments re sleep deprivation. I never realized how wonderful 4-5 hours of solid sleep could be. I also never realized how well I could actually function (at least in the short term) with only 1-2 hour blocks of sleep. I can't believe I am about to go through all of that again!

ihearteddieboo · April 2012

No one ever told me that the OB comes in right at the end to basically catch the baby and then hauls butt to catch the next baby. This may be just my experience, but I was taken care of by residents (who were wonderful) almost the entire time. My OB was on vacation (I had DS the day after Thanksgiving). I labored for about 7 hours and saw the residents the whole time, then as DS was crowning, the on call OB was called in, he "caught" DS, congratulated us, and then left. Then the residents took over again.

Don't misunderstand my delivery was wonderful and the residents were very qualified, it was just not what I expected in terms of the OB being there.

Aubs0009 · April 2012

I agree with what everyone said.

I also dealt with crazy sweating episodes. For months after I had baby, I would start sweating at the drop of a hat. I would be drenched!!

authorofdreamz · April 2012

Delivery:

- That epidurals could fail. (Okay I think I had heard someone on here mention this but I was not prepared for it to make everything WORSE.)

- That you could break your tailbone during delivery and it will still hurt 4.5 months later.

- That the umbilical cord could be so short you couldn't hold your baby while waiting for them to cut it.

Parenting:

- PPD is no joke and doesn't only happen to people who don't like babies.

- Having a baby pushes fast forward on life.

- This is related to the PPD ( I think) but that you may not feel that bond to your baby right away and that is totally okay and doesn't make you a bad mom.

- That BF doesn't work for everyone no matter how hard you try or how many times you see a LC.

ginamcp · April 2012

Ditto about the immediate bond not being there. I had a stat c-section and was put under completely and didn't see C until she was 6 hours old and the first thing I thought when I saw her was that her eyes looked a little wonky. The first night in the hospital when everyone left and my H was asleep and it was just her and I was when we were finally able to be alone and bond. That is my only c-section delivery regret. Crying

luvmyducks · April 2012

--How hard BFing is. Even if the latch is perfect, it still hurts like a biitch.

--How the repairs hurt like a mo-fo after you deliver. Everyone said you won't even know what is going on bc of your LO in your arms. Oh, I did. But maybe bc I didn't have pain relief??

--More about hemmies. I thought it was painful to have a BM just bc of delivery. Nope, had internal hemmies and I felt like I was going to die for over 12w after delivery every time I had a BM!

Ernie52408 · April 2012

1. During labor everyone and their mom will have their hands inside your hoohah.

2. You can labor with intense contractions for 14 hours and never dilate a milimeter.

3. Breastfeeding hurts. La Leche can suck donkey balls.

4. Even with a c-section, sex post delivery still hurts.

5. I never knew how little a baby could actually sleep. And therefore, how little sleep I could actually function on.

6. It absolutely baffles me how much poop can come out of one tiny baby.

Karen1998 · April 2012

That the kid would shoot out like a rocket after his head cleared. Granted, my pelvis didn't open, so once his head cleared, he came flying out. He also crapped as he came out and the poop landed in the "garbage" bag at the foot of the bed as the doctor caught him. I was grateful he flew out as I feared his shoulders getting stuck even worse than his head.

That my pelvis wouldn't open. WTF? So much for having "big birthing hips."

That my child would be so.darn.mad for a full hour after birth. He screamed for a full hour. However, since he'd been whacking my pelvis for hours, I can see why he was mad.

That he would go blue the first time I nursed him. Apparently it's uncommon for them to not get the suck, swallow, breathe reflex just right initially. No one told me that so it freaked me out.

That I wasn't bleeding as much as I thought, but rather, was pissing myself.

That the episiotomy cuts and stitches would continue to hurt during sex for months and months and months afterwards, despite me feeling fine otherwise a few days PP.

That newborn BM poops are LOUD. Really, really loud. Same with farts.

That he would make me laugh so hard, so often. He is truly funny.

ping1080 · April 2012

* Seems like every hospital employee is coming in and out of your room during labor. Took 4 nurses to give me a catheter.

* My calm & quiet hospital room morphed when it was time to deliver into a crazy disco room...lights came out of the ceiling, one of the nurses was in charge of adjusting them so they shined down just right!

* Everyone kept asking me if I had a BM. Sorry, with visitors, drs, nurses, and janitorial staff coming in constantly I couldn't relax. Luckily they let me go home and made me promise to call dr if I hadn't gone in 24 hrs.

* DH & I had crazy dreams that we were laying on the baby and would wake up (during our 1 precious hour of sleep before the next feeding) ripping the sheets off, looking for her. Of course, she was right in her bassinet where we put her :-P

* Even 6 months later, I still felt sore down there after standing or walking for long periods of time. Took a full year to feel back to my normal self both physically and emotionally.

* Everyone and their mother will give you advice and tell you stories about when they had newborns. Even if it was over 30 years ago...

* How quickly the days/weeks go by. DD is almost 2 & it still feels like yesterday I was getting ready to go on maternity leave. As much as anyone says it, I wouldn't have believed it to this degree until being through it myself. TIME GOES BY WAY TOO FAST!!!

Karen1998 · April 2012

Ernie52408:
1. During labor everyone and their mom will have their hands inside your hoohah.

2. You can labor with intense contractions for 14 hours and never dilate a milimeter.

3. Breastfeeding hurts. La Leche can suck donkey balls.

4. Even with a c-section, sex post delivery still hurts.

5. I never knew how little a baby could actually sleep. And therefore, how little sleep I could actually function on.

6. It absolutely baffles me how much poop can come out of one tiny baby.

Word.

Also, that a fan pointed at your hoohah when you're in the middle of intense contractions and so effing hot would feel so good.

Karen1998 · April 2012

ginamcp:
Ditto about the immediate bond not being there. I had a stat c-section and was put under completely and didn't see C until she was 6 hours old and the first thing I thought when I saw her was that her eyes looked a little wonky. The first night in the hospital when everyone left and my H was asleep and it was just her and I was when we were finally able to be alone and bond. That is my only c-section delivery regret.

I delivered vaginally, held him immediately and BF within the hour. I still didn't bond with him until that first night either. You're not alone on this. For me, it was such a foreign thing to have an outside baby FINALLY that it took me a while to process it.

leneae10 · April 2012

I agree with the sweating episodes, BF'ing, and sleep deprivation.

1. You may not get 40 weeks with your baby. Plan accordingly. I had NOTHING ready, because I thought I was guaranteed 38 weeks due to my cervical procedure. Nope. Look at my ticker. His curtains are STILL not hemmed in his room!!!!

2. I could not have been prepared for the absolute grogginess after my c/s. He was in NICU and I barely remember them wheeling me in there to see him.

3. how much you could eventually love someone (it took awhile for him to seem real to me) who simultaneously poops on you and screams at the top of his lungs if you look at him funny.

4. How I'm able to let other people's advice and suggestions slide off my back. I used to think I'd be constantly on defense, but really, I could care less. I smile and nod when someone told me I should try solids with my 3 month old to get him to STTN.

leneae10 · April 2012

Karen1998:

That newborn BM poops are LOUD. Really, really loud. Same with farts.

OMG I totally forgot about this! Yes! Sounds like a muffled cannon in there! And, I also never know that BM babies poo hardly stinks at all! When we started formula, I gagged a few times...

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