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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
lauriebyronm
member
how often does your lo see their grandparents
lauriebyronm
member
Ray sees his mema(my mother) almost daily, we do lots of activities together because she is helping raise my niece and nephew and the cousins are very close. I also watch them on a daily basis so he sees my mom during pickup time ect. I rarely take him to her house maybeonce a month. He sees his nanny (mil) like once a week because we take him to see her, she doesn't call asking to come see him and the only way she comes to our house is if dh asks them to come over. We have said numerous times to both grandmothers come over anytime but my mom is the only one who does. We are having another lo due in December and it will be easier if people come to us while we adjust especially during flu season. Do you think this would be asking too much or should we load the newborn up and just continue our routine? I know I'm thinking too far in advance but I'm curious as to what you ladies think
Edit... Both grandmothers live 15 minutes away
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Re: how often does your lo see their grandparents
my girls see their grandparents every week.
monday: my mother watches them
friday: my mother in law watches them
after having the girls i stayed in the house for about 2 weeks & then made the rounds. after that (maternity leave) we saw our familes about 1-2x per month then it went back to normal.
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DD sees my parents probably 1x a month. They live 2 hours away.
MIL lives 30 minutes away and we see them every other month. She just got remarried and they kind of do their own thing. DD hardly ever sees FIL, he lives 20 min away. He has a g/f that we don't care for DD to be around so we don't stop there in case she is around.
I think they could certainly come to you after you have the baby.
My mother, everyday almost.........
My father (who is married to my mom) about 2 times a month. He doesn't go out with us or visit us at our house like my mom.
My DH parents (one lives 3 hours drive and the other 3 hour plane ride).. His mom has never seen either child and his father has seen our dd once for a dinner at the Olive Garden......
My parents live about 1.5 hours away, my ILs live about 20 minutes away. We just moved 2 months ago, and where we lived before was a 5 minute walk from ILs. When we lived there we would always visit the ILs on a Sunday for supper. They never visited us because we have a dog and MIL is not a fan of dogs in general.
Now, after the move, my parents have been coming down to visit us for the weekends roughly every second or third weekend to help us get work done on the house. I think since we now have a spare bedroom for them to sleep in, they feel more comfortable visiting, plus we have a yard that their dog and our dog can play in all day. In the apartment we were in before it was only 2 bedrooms and cramped with 5 people and 2 dogs.
L probably sees my ILs every 2 weeks, sometimes once a week now. We are fine with this, and I would really not like it if they randomly showed up.
I would say count your blessings that they only come over when you ask. I think I would have mega issues if people randomly showed up. I work FT, so I only have about 2 hours in the evening with L to get him fed, bathed and have some play time with him. If somebody tried to encroach on that time, I would be pretty p-o'd.
I think it's fine to ask people to come visit you. It's tough getting out of the house with a newborn and a toddler, especially in the winter.
DS sees my parents 1-2x a month (they live 1.5 hours away) and he's never met the ILs (they live down South and won't travel so they have to wait until we can go down at Christmas time to meet him).
Both sets of grandparents live about 5 minutes away from us.
DS and DD see my parents almost daily. They watch them when we need a sitter, we go over to hang out alot, dinners, etc..
My in laws however, pretty much only see them on holidays. Even though they live extremely close to us they never answer the phone or return phone calls.
Pretty sure DS doesn't even really know who they are.
DD sees my parents probably 2-3 times a month. They live 2 hours away and are always asking to come see her (both my parents work 4/10's so they are off Mondas and like to use that as their day with her).
IL's however are similar to what others have posted. They live 20 minutes away, but think the drive is just "to far". We have to initiate DD seeing them, but they like to complain that they don't see her nearly as much as my parents.
Duggy sees my hubby's folks every day because my MIL watches him while we are at work. My mom and stepdad live about 12 hours away and they have driven out once- for less than a full day's visit
My dad lives all the way across the country -opposite coasts- so I flew out to see him once and we stayed a week. My dad would travel more, but his immune system is poor so it's best for him not to fly.
Both sets live within 10 minutes from us and LO sees both once a week. I sometimes see my family more often because I work part time so I have more time to plan dinners and etc and I'm closer to my family.
I don't think it's a bad thing to ask them to come to you the majority of the time; it'll be much easier for you! But then I'm sure there will be days when you want to get out of the house so it'll probably even out.
I am so jealous of all of you who have parents nearby!
My parents are an 8-9 hour drive away. DS sees them 2-4 times a year. We go up twice, so it just depends how often they come down.
ILs are a12-15 hour drive away in the summer, two hours in the winter. So we see them once in the summer, and about 1-2 times a month in the winter.
I think you are well within your new mommy rights to not go visiting and ask people to visit you if they want to see the baby. Especially since it's a 15 minute drive! If MIL lived 15 minutes away, she would see DS at least once a week.
They see my parents once a month and DH's dad a few times a year. They both live a little less than an hour away.
I don't think you are asking too much to have them come to you. I would explain the situation. If they want to see their grandkids, they will make the effort to see them.
Your kids are lucky! My kids get to see my parents maybe 3-4 times a year. They live 5 hours away. I'd love to move closer to them, but jobs are scarce out there right now. My DH's parents live 12 hours away, and they don't have a great relationship so we only see them maybe once every 2 years. For some reason they refuse to drive their retired behinds down to visit us, so the only way to let our kids see them is to pack them into the car for a 12 hour road trip.
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DD sees my mom maybe three times a month....this is my mom's fault. She only lives 10min away but never has time.
She see my dad maybe once every three or four months....I expected this because that is how often I have always seen him since he got remarried.
IL's live in St. Louis and I hate that!! I love them so much and I know if we lived down there they would see her every day.
This is my ILs as well. B is 15 months old and they have been over to see him 4 times. Every other time it is us visiting them, but then my FIL ignores B and goes to read on the couch and MIL spends 1-2 hours in the kitchen cooking an elaborate meal (even when we offer to bring food). We spend most of the visits by ourselves, chasing after B in an un-childproofed house. Fun times. Oh, they also tell us that they can't come because FIL doesn't feel good, but then on our next visit we'll hear that they came within 5 miles of our house when they had tickets to see this show or that event.
My parents live 2 plane flights away and they have seen him 6 times, plus we Skype 1-2 times a month. (We've offered to Skype with the IL's but they've yet to take us up on it.)
To the OP, I think it's fine to talk with your ILs and let them know that you'd like to change things up while the new baby is little and talk about scheduling a weekly visit where they come over to visit.
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Max sees my Dad once or twice a year (my parents are a 16-hour drive away). My mother has never met him, and most likely, will not.
My husband's parents live ten minutes away, so he sees them every week or so.
ETA: OP ? I think it's fine to ask (particularly in the beginning) to ask that they visit the kids in your home. It's not at all unreasonable.
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My mom and dad: Once every 2 weeks on average
DH's parents: Once a week average
My grandparents: Every other day.
The kids see my parents once a month. They live 3 hrs. away and either we drive to see them (and my grandparents who live next to my parents). They talk to DS1 on the phone a few times a week and have skype'd with both kids. We've moved a lot but before moving here this past summer, they always saw the kids on a daily-weekly basis because we lived either next door or within 45 minutes.
The kids see my IL's about once every two or three months. They are 3.5 hours away and we only see them if we go to them. So when we drive up to visit my parents we try to make the trip long enough to visit my IL's as well. They often have plans when we are in the area though so the kids don't see them for long except in the summer when we will be staying at their cabin a few times. (They have a lake house and a cabin so the cabin is usually available for SIL or DH to use.) When we lived closer to them, the kids saw them about once a month although DH was at their house weekly (he runs the financial side of their business).
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