What is your biggest fear? (pregnancy related)

daronsmommy · April 2012

I remember when I was a FTM my biggest fear was labor. I was scared to death to actually have the baby. I knew I would want an epidural as soon as possible, but honestly I was scared to death of the epi too. I ended up have an amazing labor and delivery experience!

This time around, my biggest fear is how DS will react to the baby. I'm sure he will adjust and be fine, but he is such a momma's boy. I worry about how he'll react when he can't have all of mommy's attention.

So, what's your biggest pregnancy or baby fear?

sassenma · April 2012

Aside from the persistant fear that the baby's going to fall out when I sneeze or poop, I think labor is my biggest fear. In a perfect world I would get the Laura Ingalls Wilder treatment, where they knock me out and when I wake up, there's a baby.

daronsmommy · April 2012

LauraT25:
I think my biggest is that we can't afford to have a baby. I know that people with way less money than us have children, but my job is up in the air and daycare is SO expensive...I'm practically having an anxiety attack about it.

I totally understand that one. This baby was a complete surprise and we are really not in a situation where we can afford it either. Right now we are barely scraping by. It's hard, but I have to believe that it will work out somehow. I am applying for full time teaching jobs, but for right now we have pulled DS out of daycare and I am working in the evenings after DH gets home. It's very frustrating but I'm hoping I get hired on by the local school district and things start to look up. Hopefully you're job becomes more secure soon. Good luck!

sjgurl784 · April 2012

LauraT25:
I think my biggest is that we can't afford to have a baby. I know that people with way less money than us have children, but my job is up in the air and daycare is SO expensive...I'm practically having an anxiety attack about it.

This x10000

Ziegeficker · April 2012

Do I just have to choose one? Stick out tongue

I do get a little freaked out about labor when I start to really think or read about it. I'm a FTM, so I have absolutely no points of reference. I also want to try to go natural, so that adds to my fears a bit. Other than that, I think my other big fear is that my child will not be born healthy -- We opted out of all genetic testing and pre-screening (not including the normal anatomy scans) because of the false positives/negatives (and the cost), so I'm just praying that everything will be fine with our baby.

ffejsGirl · April 2012

Pregnancy related: Something happening with the baby, congenital heart, missing a toe, etc.

Baby related: How my older two, especially DD (who's very much the baby) will react to a new sibling and attention grabber in their world. We talk a lot about the baby with them, trying to get them excited for it, so I hope it goes well.

dragonfly17 · April 2012

First and formost that there are no complications and that my baby is healthy.

At a distant second.....stretch marks.

daronsmommy · April 2012

sassenma:
Aside from the persistant fear that the baby's going to fall out when I sneeze or poop, I think labor is my biggest fear. In a perfect world I would get the Laura Ingalls Wilder treatment, where they knock me out and when I wake up, there's a baby.

I promise you the baby will not fall out! I felt the same way about labor and actually almost opted for an elective c/s. I am so happy I didn't. I was in labor for 14 hours. I got to the hospital at midnight and was dialiated to a 1. They had me walk and sit on a labor ball for about 1.5 hours, checked me again and I was at a 2. I had such bad back labor they went ahead and admitted me and gave me some pain meds. I was great from that point on. I got my epi and got to rest for a few hours. At 1:30 pm I started pushing...(I say pushing, but most of the time I was playing tug-o-war with the nurse with a rolled up towel) I really didn't feel like I pushed that long. DS was born at 2:41 pm!

alikat07 · April 2012

My biggest fear is also how my DD will react and get along with the new baby. I feel for her, its going to be a huge adjustment.

ETA: and same pregnancy fears - I worry that the baby will be healthy, or that I did something dumb to affect the baby in any way (i.e. used face wash with retinol in it for the first 10 weeks without realizing).

HarrietNJMommy · April 2012

My biggest fear is my 4th c-section. Other than that, everything will be a piece of cake......

dixneuf · April 2012

either something will happen to the baby (a friend lost her baby at 39 weeks last year) etc.

OR

Killer post partum depression/going nuts with a newborn

I already know we can't afford this. HA!

IAM3Bs · April 2012

Money,

But also that the baby will have something wrong. I didn't have any worries, even with a brother who was mentally retarded, but now that the TV show "Touch" came on, it made me realize how difficult having a child with extreme autism could be, and I actually started crying/having a panic attack during last week's episode. I'm done watching the show...

danienross · April 2012

With DD I was terrified of labor. Especially if I needed to be induced or have a c-section. I'm sure my worries didn't help but being induced sucked.

This time I'm excited about labor. I'm planning a home birth and really feel at peace about it. However, I'm worried about DH not being there. He's deploying and I'm worried about how DD will handle that and the new baby and I'm worried about being out numbered. It's really overwhelming to think about.

Ken&Anna · April 2012

I'm terrified of going into pre-term labor, and having a baby who has to spend weeks or months in the NICU. I'm high risk, so unfortunately while most people can start to relax (a little) around now, I know that I face an up-hill battle from now through 35ish weeks. I'm seeing the MFM tomorrow for the first time, so hopefully that will ease my fears a little.

Baby-related, I'm afraid of having post-partum depression... so far this pregnancy has been very easy and I haven't really had any mood swings. I know when I first came off of birth control though, I was a wreck... it was like I was a 13-year old all over again. I'm afraid that after delivery, with all the emotional changes and hormonal changes, I'll be like that again and won't be able to cope.

tatercater · April 2012

I am constantly concerned that somehow I will lose this baby. Anytime you're PGAL/PAIF you just can't help it. Especially now that we've told people.

I'm worried that my dogs won't react well to a baby because they're not really around kids that much, and we'll have to give them away

I'm worried about breastfeeding, more so than labor, oddly enough.

After reading an article, I'm worried about having a c-section. (It was a really gross description and I never should have read it.)

I'm worried that I won't get much maternity leave.

I worry about my in-laws, who have made it very clear that they intend to watch the baby all the time, when my FIL is in poor health and I worry about all the things that could happen.

sassenma · April 2012

daronsmommy:

sassenma:
Aside from the persistant fear that the baby's going to fall out when I sneeze or poop, I think labor is my biggest fear. In a perfect world I would get the Laura Ingalls Wilder treatment, where they knock me out and when I wake up, there's a baby.

I promise you the baby will not fall out! I felt the same way about labor and actually almost opted for an elective c/s. I am so happy I didn't. I was in labor for 14 hours. I got to the hospital at midnight and was dialiated to a 1. They had me walk and sit on a labor ball for about 1.5 hours, checked me again and I was at a 2. I had such bad back labor they went ahead and admitted me and gave me some pain meds. I was great from that point on. I got my epi and got to rest for a few hours. At 1:30 pm I started pushing...(I say pushing, but most of the time I was playing tug-o-war with the nurse with a rolled up towel) I really didn't feel like I pushed that long. DS was born at 2:41 pm!

This makes me feel so much better!

ktshafra · April 2012

I'm worried about having two so close in age (13 months). I'm worried I'll end up with another c-section (though this isn't any where as big a fear as it was last time). I'm worried I'll have low milk supply again and have to formula feed again. I'm worried about returning to work with two little ones at home.

daronsmommy · April 2012

dixneuf:

either something will happen to the baby (a friend lost her baby at 39 weeks last year) etc.

OR

Killer post partum depression/going nuts with a newborn

I already know we can't afford this. HA!

I knew a girl (went to college with her and was friends with her on facebook) who lost her baby at 39 weeks 2 months before DS was born. I was so scared about that as well. I also had really bad postpartum anxiety.

CnAnA · April 2012

That I will lose this baby too. Other than that, that I will be a horrible mother and screw up my kid.

daronsmommy · April 2012

ktshafra:
I'm worried about having two so close in age (13 months). I'm worried I'll end up with another c-section (though this isn't any where as big a fear as it was last time). I'm worried I'll have low milk supply again and have to formula feed again. I'm worried about returning to work with two little ones at home.

My sister's kids are 13 months apart. She absolutely loves it. Her 2nd was a complete surprise and she was scared to death. They are best friends and love playing together (They are now 6 and 7 years old).

With your milk supply, did you have your thyroid checked? My low supply was due to postpartum hypothyroidism. This time I have a plan in place to have it checked as soon as I deliver and anytime I want to afterwards. My doc knows my concerns about being able to breastfeed and my struggles with it last time. I had some PPD because I wasn't able to BF and I had some extreme resentment issues with the doctors because they wouldn't diagnose me and made me wait an extra 6 weeks to "make sure".

daronsmommy · April 2012

mrs.ike:
That I will lose this baby too. Other than that, that I will be a horrible mother and screw up my kid.

You will be a wonderful mother!

Just go to a grocery store or shopping center and look around, there are many mothers who are lots crazier than you could ever be!

But I understand your fear, I still worry I'm screwing up my kid.

cubbieluv0614 · April 2012

I have a few different fears.
1. My baby will be allergic to my dogs, I know they'll be fine with baby. They've been around a lot of infants and small children but i'm worried about allergies because that is totally out of my control. It would rip me apart, I love my dogs to death.

2. That I will poop on the delivery table. I know this is a common fear and it actually happens a lot but i'm afraid my poop will stink and a vomit train will ensue! Haha Ick!

3. My husbands first deployment after the baby comes.

4. Not being a good mom.

Cynthia1207 · April 2012

Oh I have a few...

Losing the baby or having it born with a defect/unhealthy

Labor interestingly enough doesn't scare me but getting an epidural or a c-section does.

Making bad choices

Making enough money to give my child what it needs plus a few extras

and... Not losing the baby weight Surprise

sassenma · April 2012

daronsmommy:

mrs.ike:
That I will lose this baby too. Other than that, that I will be a horrible mother and screw up my kid.

You will be a wonderful mother!

Just go to a grocery store or shopping center and look around, there are many mothers who are lots crazier than you could ever be!

But I understand your fear, I still worry I'm screwing up my kid.

My mom says no matter what you do, your kids are going to think you screwed them up and blame you. I was like, "Cool. Thanks." Confused

KNemo · April 2012

This one is so silly, but that I wont make it to the hospital in time. My last labor was pitocin fueled and lasted forever. It was horribly painful, and.because of that, I worry that this one will be too short and I wont take non-pitocin fueled contrax seriously.

My biggest fear with DS was a c/s, and that one happened.

bellre · April 2012

1. There will be something wrong with the baby, or it won't come out alive.

2. It might be stupid, but yes I am afraid of pooping during delivery ("oh it's not big deal", blah blah blah. I still would be horrified)

3. That I will have no idea what the hell to do after the baby comes home

4. The reaction from SDs won't be good...too much jealousy, resentment later on, etc.

5. I'll stay baby-weight fat. It is extremely hard for me to lose weight and I'm worried it may never come off, even if I try.

AadensMommy2010 · April 2012

I am afraid that I won't have enough time to take my full 12 weeks of maternity leave - I'm really praying that we get furloughs next fiscal year so I don't have to worry about it so much. I am pretty sure I have plenty of time but I just never know when DS is going to get sick and I'll have to stay home and take care of him. I had to use two full days of sick leave last week to stay home with him because of a fever.

I also fear not being able to lose the baby weight. I would like to lose much more weight beyond what I started at but I'm so worried that I'm just going to be so flabby and disgusting after that I'll feel like sh*t and I won't want to get dressed in anything other than yoga pants.

I also worry about PPD/PPA. I suffered PPD all of last year. I fear getting it again but it being worse. I am currently establishing a relationship with a therapist so hopefully I can keep the PPD at bay/under control if it comes on again.

PolishWonder · April 2012

I'm scared that something might be wrong enough that we would have to make a decision to terminate. We haven't seen or heard the bean yet (next Monday!) so I'm starting to get wicked anxious.

I'm also afraid of having another colicky baby and PPD. I had a LOT of difficulties adjusting to motherhood, especially since DD cried for 20 hours a day and I was crying the other 4.

rhodesign · April 2012

oh where to start...

I fear preterm labor (I'm at a very slight increased risk for cervical insufficiency), but even more than that I fear any sort of neurological devastation for my child, either from a chromosomal defect or birth trauma or severe autism, etc. I think I can handle just about anything medical (even heart surgery) but I cannot stand the idea of my child being so severely neurologically devastated that they can't communicate or have a real life they can enjoy. Scares me to death.

WearingRed · April 2012

Missed miscarriage (again) and after that baby and tot intros and then finding space for my family.

lovethoseleaves · April 2012

That breastfeeding won't work.

I won't get maternity leave because I'll be a graduate student. I'll get a week off max, then I have to go back. I intend to pump and have my husband do the feedings that I can't do . But I know that 1 week isn't nearly long enough exclusively breastfeeding for it to be established.

veronicajudith · April 2012

1. Labor

2. That this baby will figure out I have no idea what I'm doing.

3. That some day I will drop the baby on his head...I have really bad nightmares about this one.

daronsmommy · April 2012

KNemo:
This one is so silly, but that I wont make it to the hospital in time. My last labor was pitocin fueled and lasted forever. It was horribly painful, and.because of that, I worry that this one will be too short and I wont take non-pitocin fueled contrax seriously.
My biggest fear with DS was a c/s, and that one happened.

DH's cousin had a very long labor with her first. With the second, her water broke in the parking lot of the doctors office. By the time they got her across the parking lot, up to the 3rd floor and into a room, she was pushing. She pushed 3 times and the baby was here. Her story scared me! She said it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be, but said she remembers the exact moment she realized she wouldn't be getting an epi.

LBoogeyBride · April 2012

Oh,I have a few fears:

That I won't be able to handle the pain of childbirth and if I get an epi, that there will be severe side effects or problems.
That I will have no idea what I'm doing once we get home from the hospital
That my child will have ADHD or autism, both which run rampant in DH's family. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but his entire family is so tangential and cannot stay on task. They make my head hurt!
That I won't be able to balance motherhood and working, but be expected to pull it off flawlessly.

kmitch0303 · April 2012

That I will lose this baby. With DD it never crossed my mind that would happen to us. Then I had a mc this past Oct. I also had a friend loose her baby at 20 weeks. She found out at her big u/s, SO very heartbreaking.

Vegasbb · April 2012

As far as baby goes - I'm most worried my baby has autism. It's so prevalent now and something that can't be tested for until the baby is a bit older.

As far as I go - I'm worried I won't go into natural labor and will have to be induced and then that won't work and I'll be in labor for 24-30 hours on pitocin and miserable and end up with a C section.

Sillygirl85 · April 2012

My biggest fear is something, anything going wrong. This baby was a total surprise, but I am so in love and can't wait to meet him her come October. My fear

Don't Hassle the Hoff · April 2012

4th degree tearing and getting a vaganus...

...oh, and that my dogs will hate the kid.

Lrncconway · April 2012

dixneuf:
either something will happen to the baby (a friend lost her baby at 39 weeks last year) etc.
OR
Killer post partum depression/going nuts with a newborn

I already know we can't afford this. HA!

This exactly!! I just pray everyday that everything will turn out ok.

armcgill · April 2012

Labour, labour and labour! Petrified of the pain I'm going to feel and I do not want an epidural because of my HUGE fear of needles! lol I am also not looking forward to labouring in the car while we drive 1.5 hours to my hospital...Right now, denial is a wonderful thing! haha

jennadoll87 · April 2012

sjgurl784:

LauraT25:
I think my biggest is that we can't afford to have a baby. I know that people with way less money than us have children, but my job is up in the air and daycare is SO expensive...I'm practically having an anxiety attack about it.

This x10000

same here even though this will be our second...i am very concerned about $$

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