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Success after IF
TTC since Dec '04
Severe MFI-diagnosed 12/06
3 failed Fresh IVFs
FET #1 - BFP!! 2 blasts tx on day 6.
Beta #1 8dp6dt = 56, Beta #2 = 600, Beta #3 = 5600
My Blog
Our dog is terminal. Heartbroken
Our vet has suspected for awhile that Libby had TCC (transitional cell carcinoma) & has been treating her as if she did. The past month or so I realized she was slowly getting worse- lots of accidents, strong smelling urine, shaking, whimpering, losing weight etc...
I took her in today & the tumor has grown cconsiderably in just 3mo. It wasn't even palpable in jan & now even I can feel it. Soon she will no longer be able to pee or poop as the rumor takes over. He said it is hard to predict, but she doesn't have long- weeks maybe a month.
He sent us home with lots of pain meds & told us to let him know when we are ready to say goodbye. I'll never be ready to let her go, but I can't let her suffer, so imagine it will be sooner than later. I am truly debated even though I was expecting it.
Any advice from those of you who have been through this? What do we tell Eliza?
I think we will take a little time to love her & take some professional photos & do some of her favorite things, but I just can't let her go on like this. Hoping the pain meds help a little.
My heart is breaking 
TTC since Dec '04
Severe MFI-diagnosed 12/06
3 failed Fresh IVFs
FET #1 - BFP!! 2 blasts tx on day 6.
Beta #1 8dp6dt = 56, Beta #2 = 600, Beta #3 = 5600
My Blog
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Our dog is terminal. Heartbroken
I'm so sorry. I'm tearing up just reading this. It brings back such painful memories. We had to put our family dog down a month before DD was born. We knew in advance that it was time, so we had a week or so until the appointment. That week was horrible and wonderful. We pretty much let her do whatever she could do / used to love to do. But her energy was pretty low, so it wasn't much.
There isn't any advice I have to give. It sucks and it's sad.
Diagnosed PCOS & MFI-Success with IUI
I am so, so sorry for you. My heart is breaking for you. We have been through this twice, within a few months of each other. One was a very slow, long process; the other was like yours, suspected and then quick. You are in the right frame of mind to not let her suffer, but I do understand the need to process. We did pictures and a few of our beloved dogs favorite things, but as Willis said the energy was low. It was definitely more for us then for him, but totally worth it. We scheduled the vet to come to the house. It was the most difficult phone call to make but a relief once it was done. I think from the time we 'knew' and were 'ready' was about a week. Honestly, the time between was the hardest part; I still get torn up thinking about those days. The actual time of letting go, I could sense the relief and peace as we let him go. It is the most difficult yet greatest gift you can give. Remember that most of the memories you will cherish have already been made. I am so very sorry you are going through this. Not sure about what to tell DD; I will say thet pet forum is very active and was very helpful for me, and I was not an active poster at the time, so they may have some advice. Here for you through this. No one tells you of this responsibility when you get an animal and to me it is more difficult than the housebreaking, chewing, puppy stage. Hang in there. ((Hugs)) and tears right here with you girl.
I am so sorry. This is truly heartbreaking to lose a pet. When my cat died last year (it lived with my parents but had been my cat for 17 years) we were honest with Patrick about it. We told him that Jack had died and was playing with other kitties in heaven. He seemed to grasp it pretty well. Whenever we went to my parents house soon after that, he would ask where Jack was but then he would tell us the answer. He just liked to talk about it.
I'm sorry that you are going through this :-(
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Diagnosed PCOS & MFI-Success with IUI
I also wanted to add- just so you know, the process is very peaceful. Our vet doesn't come to the house and we didn't want to use an outside service. I was so terrified because our dog didn't like the vet. But the vet gave us some meds that helped calm her down. She was pretty loopy by the time we took her in, so she wasn't scared. We brought some of her favorite things to make her comfy and stayed with her until the end.
I can't say I'm sorry enough. Ugh.
We had to say good-bye to our dog about 6 weeks after Penny was born. It was super hard. DH brought him to the vet...He was old and sick, but like your dog went downhill pretty fast.
Big hugs.
Reed was too young to understand so we never really had to tell him anything. I am sorry:(
I am so so sorry. I literally cried when I read your post. We had to put my dog Cody, from when I was growing up, down while I was home in PA for my bridal shower. It was SO unbelievably freaking hard. We were all devastated. Pets become such a huge part of the family.
I would definitely do the professional pictures, and the things that Libby enjoys. Don't be surprised if she doesn't want to do those things, though. Also, beware that she may get aggressive if not feeling well. Cody was a yellow lab with the sweetest disposition. He seriously was such a lover, but when he was sick he turned aggressive at times.
You'll know when it's time. If the pain meds aren't working or if she gets to the point where she can barely walk, you'll know.
I have no idea on what to tell Eliza
I'm so sorry you're going through this ((hugs))
TTC #1: IUI #2 = BFP , Betas 550 (16 dpiui), 1523 (18 dpiui)
Hypothyroid, LPD, FSH 13.0, TTC 2 yrs B4 BFP
TTC #2: FSH 23, AMA, IUI 1, 2, 3 = BFN, IVF #1 = MC
IVF #2 = BFP - Betas 194 (14dp2dt), 366 (16 dp2dt), 841 (18 dp2dt)
(vanished twin ~7 weeks)
I am so sorry...
((((hugs))))
I'm so sorry. Pets are just like one of the family and losing them is so hard. Time is the only thing that makes it easier. I lost my beloved dog in 2003 and it took over a year before I could talk about it.
(((hugs)))
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
I'm so sorry! That is such a painful decision to have to make. I wish I had made the call for my cat, when he was near the end. I kept waiting for a 'sign' not sure what I was looking for and ultimately he ended up dying at home with me in what was absolutely the most traumatic experiences I have ever had. Please do yourself, your family, and most of all Libby, a huge service, and make the decision quickly. It's so hard to say goodbye to our pets, but I feel like we owe it to them to make the process as quick and painless as possible.
I used to be an active poster and I've fallen to lurkdom, but I had to chime in on this because we just put our beloved dog down about a month ago. Our "puppy" (he was a 9 year old Weim) started having seizures and after three opinions everyone agreed it was a brain tumor. We tried several anti-seizure medications, but ultimately he was just suffering too much. They thought it could buy us several months or even a year, but ultimately it was over in a few weeks. It was the hardest thing we've ever had to do, but I know it was the right thing.
As hard as I knew it'd be for my husband and I, my biggest fear was what to tell the kids and how they'd react. (no idea what my sig says anymore, but they're 3) There's so much to tiptoe around. We didn't want them to think they'd get sick and die or that they'd go to the doctor and never come back. In the end we just told them over the course of the two weeks of his decline that sometimes dogs just get too sick to do the things they like to do and they have to go to a very special place called heaven and when they get there they feel better and they're happy. He had some accidents in the house and started ravenously searching for food/tearing into the trash, etc. When we'd come home to that we made sure the boys knew that was a sign he was very sick.
The biggest thing we've tried to do is be honest about the emotions of it. They tell us they miss him and they love him and we just reassure them that it's ok to miss him and love him and that he misses us and still loves us too. And they've definitely seen us cry and they know it's ok to be sad about him being gone.
We did buy the book Dog Heaven as recommended by the other poster and the kids love it. We read it every night for at least 2 weeks. I'm not going to lie though, it is a hard book to get through. I'll still read it to them, but they know that "Daddy gets very sad" when he reads it so they don't ask him to read it anymore. There are parts that I absolutely can't get through and I have to skip. I read it several times prior to ever reading it outloud to help prepare myself. It really is a nice way to think about things. We bought another book about being connected to loved ones in general called "The Invisible String" and they love that one also. It's not specifically about the death of a pet, but I still think it's helpful. And (yep, I'm an Amazon junkie) we got, "For Every Dog An Angel." Not child appropriate, but very comforting for me.
They've asked us "where's Heaven?" and my best answer is to tell them it's beyond the stars and we can't go there. They've asked if he can come back and we just tell them he can't come back because then he'd be sick again.
I'm on a local twin mom listserve and when we were going through this someone else in my group was also. A professional grief counselor replied to her plea for help and said that even she struggled with telling her child about their dog's death. She said to keep in mind children tend to go in and out of grief quickly while adults tend to stay in it at a steady state for longer. So kids might go weeks without saying anything and then it will all come up again. This has definitely been our experience. They talk about him often, but in a very pragmatic, wonderfully innocent kind of way.
I am so, so sorry you're having to go through this. It is a so horrible on so many levels. I miss our dog an overwhelming amount, but ultimately I know he's no longer suffering. And I'm sorry this is so long! Libby and your entire family will be in my thoughts.
After a PCOS dx, 18 months of trying, 3 rounds of clomid and 2 follistim IUIs our babies are here!
Thank you all SO much for your kind words, hugs & for sharing your stories of your beloved animals. I was crying reading all the responses.
We talked a lot last night & agreed not to wait too long. We are going to have pics done on sunday, celebrate her birthday on Monday & take it day by day from there. Really hoping the pain relief & the antibiotics give her a little relief for now.
They started to suspect she had TCC about a year ago & the life expectancy is about a year. She has had countless UTIs from it & has been in general decline for awhile now.
Thanks again everyone. I will keep you posted!
Oh, we ordered the dog heaven book!
Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12
TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks
Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15. Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15. Forever in our hearts.
TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
Again I am so sorry. I know you told us about this on the fb group this morning but I wanted to respond here too. I wish I could tell you what to tell Eliza. My beloved dog is 8 1/2 and I often wonder the same thing about Bennett when she has to leave us. She was our first baby so it will be incredibly hard for DH and I, but I think even harder for Bennett. She is his bestest buddy and there's no way he would just forget about her if she was gone one day.
I do sadly have experience putting down a pet though. My last year of college our 18 year old cat got sick seemingly overnight. He began to have seizures. And he just stopped eating. He was diabetic and a BIG eater so we knew something was up. We got him when I was in 3rd grade, so we had him my whole life that I can remember. My Mom asked me to take him to the vet. She knew he wasn't going to come home alive and she couldn't handle it. So I went. He ended up having a huge tumor in his stomach. I held him as they gave him the medicine to go asleep. It was a very peaceful thing and not scary at all for my cat. It was SO very hard to watch but I knew he was in pain and he needed me to take it away.
I wish you all the luck with your decision. I love the idea of pictures too, I think that's so sweet.