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New to Site Army Soldier & Wife

aebrodeaebrode
in Military Families

Hello all!

Ive decided to introduce myself on this thread.

 My name is Amanda. I have been in the Army Reserves for 4 years, along with my husband.  I have a 2 year old son who was concieved through rape about a month before my first scheduled tour (obvs didnt go), a 5 yr old step daughter from my husbands past relationship and an Angel Baby in heaven as of February 28, 2011. Now, I am starting my TTCAL journey and was wondering if their was another military mommy (either Soldier or Spouse) that can relate? Im a young mom, just turned 21 and dont have alot of other mom friends to talk to. Hoping I can find some on here.

 

Thanks!

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Re: New to Site Army Soldier & Wife

  • BLT20051BLT20051 member
    Hi, I'm Sam. I've been in the Army National Guard for 7 years, DH has been in for about 12.  We don't have any kids, just a cat who we treat like a child.  I'm sorry about your past but your son is beautiful, as is your SD. I too have experienced a loss and it's not a fun path to go down. Have you talked to a counselor? Military One Source offers free counseling. What do you guys do on the civilian side? Is there a reason you're so eager to TTC again?

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member

    Hi.  I'm TX.  I served 6 years as an MP with the Reserves. I have a little less than a year left of IRR.  MH is AD Army.  We have 4 kids.  I suffered a loss years ago.  I was really young, in an abusive relationship and not in a good place.  I lived in denial about it for quite a while thanks to certain people in my life.  I only really faced it during the divorce from my XH.

    Anyway, there are quite a few of us around who you may be able to relate to.  I was a young mom at 19 when my oldest was born.  He's a teenager now. 

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  • aebrodeaebrode

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    Hi, I'm Sam. I've been in the Army National Guard for 7 years, DH has been in for about 12.  We don't have any kids, just a cat who we treat like a child.  I'm sorry about your past but your son is beautiful, as is your SD. I too have experienced a loss and it's not a fun path to go down. Have you talked to a counselor? Military One Source offers free counseling. What do you guys do on the civilian side? Is there a reason you're so eager to TTC again?

     

     

    My reason for wanting to try so soon is because I had a stillbirth.  I looked pregnant, I felt pregnant, I could feel him move and to go through all of thaty, laying in a hospital bed, in labor all to deliver a baby you dont get to take home is traumatizing. I went through the after pains, the production of milk, all without having a baby. I just want that back.

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  • blowfish11blowfish11 member
    imageaebrode:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    Hi, I'm Sam. I've been in the Army National Guard for 7 years, DH has been in for about 12.  We don't have any kids, just a cat who we treat like a child.  I'm sorry about your past but your son is beautiful, as is your SD. I too have experienced a loss and it's not a fun path to go down. Have you talked to a counselor? Military One Source offers free counseling. What do you guys do on the civilian side? Is there a reason you're so eager to TTC again?

     

     

    My reason for wanting to try so soon is because I had a stillbirth.  I looked pregnant, I felt pregnant, I could feel him move and to go through all of thaty, laying in a hospital bed, in labor all to deliver a baby you dont get to take home is traumatizing. I went through the after pains, the production of milk, all without having a baby. I just want that back.

    I don't mean to be judgy.  But it sounds like there is grief you're not coping with.  Getting pregnant again isn't going to bring back the baby you lost.  It seems to me, you should grieve that baby before TTC again.

    Edited: Spelling and clarification

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  • chizekgeenachizekgeena
    I have never served but I am an army spouse and I am also 21. I lost a baby in August, although it was a miscarriage rather than a stillbirth, I do understand the pain that goes with it. As soon we lost the baby I was ready to try again not because I wanted to replace the baby we lost but rather because after the loss I realized that I wanted a baby more than anything else and I was indeed ready to be a Mom. I am a nursing student, but contrary to the way things are typically done, I would rather have children earlier than later even if it means pushing my degree a little further. Plus DH is 28 and definitely ready to be a father. Good luck with everything and just give it time. When you least expect it you will get that BFP.
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  • BLT20051BLT20051 member
    imageblowfish11:
    imageaebrode:

    imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:
    Hi, I'm Sam. I've been in the Army National Guard for 7 years, DH has been in for about 12.  We don't have any kids, just a cat who we treat like a child.  I'm sorry about your past but your son is beautiful, as is your SD. I too have experienced a loss and it's not a fun path to go down. Have you talked to a counselor? Military One Source offers free counseling. What do you guys do on the civilian side? Is there a reason you're so eager to TTC again?

     

     

    My reason for wanting to try so soon is because I had a stillbirth.  I looked pregnant, I felt pregnant, I could feel him move and to go through all of thaty, laying in a hospital bed, in labor all to deliver a baby you dont get to take home is traumatizing. I went through the after pains, the production of milk, all without having a baby. I just want that back.

    I don't mean to be judgy.  But it sounds like there is grief you're not coping with.  Getting pregnant again isn't going to bring back the baby you lost.  It seems to me, you should grieve that baby before TTC again.

    Edited: Spelling and clarification

    I was thinking along the same lines and to be honest, I'm surprised your doctor didn't advise against you TTC right away. I think you should contact Military One Source and get into counseling. Between your sexual assault in the past and your recent still birth, I think you could really benefit from it. I mean that in the nicest, non-snarkiest way possible.  

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

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  • aebrodeaebrode

    I have been in counseling and have done Military OneSource in the past. I understand that people may not understand the reasonings for me wanting to get pregnant as soon as I can, but to each their own.  You cant blame me for wanting a baby after a loss, or even for wanting a baby concieved through love and not a malicious attack. Im not saying Im getting pregnant today, tomorrow or even this month, but rather I am starting my ttc journey.

     

    As far as the grieving part, I have. I have cried and screamed and hated and loved and buried and embraced what has happened.  I am not replacing my stillborn with another child at all. I am doing what me and my husband want to do and that is have a baby with eachother. 

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  • lizzythom9106lizzythom9106 member

    Hi there.

    I am not a solider, but a spouse. I ended a pregnancy on 1/4/2012 due to T18 at 18w6d and I am in my second cycle of trying again. I second this sentiment:

    As soon we lost the baby I was ready to try again not because I wanted to replace the baby we lost but rather because after the loss I realized that I wanted a baby more than anything else and I was indeed ready to be a Mom.

    My body is healed, my doc has cleared me and my hub and me are ready to be parents. Nothing will make me forget our first, but that I lost my first doesn't mean I need to sort through some deep issues. It sucks, it happened and nothing will change that.

    If you need to talk, please message me.

    angel nicknamed Blue Sunday- lost at 18w6d to trisomy 18 1/4/2012 Liz and Chris. Married 5 years 9/1/2011 :) Deployment survivor :) PAL/PgAL welcome
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  • Shells920Shells920
    I was enlisted in the Army, waiting to leave for BCT when I met my fiance, who is currently in the Army Reserves. My ship date got pushed back and then I got pregnant, so no more Army for me. At 11 weeks I found out my baby's heart stopped beating around 8 weeks. I am still recovering from this, but we want to try again asap because he's deploying in August for 14 months. I'm almost 21, btw. I'm not a mom yet, but I hope to be very soon!
    BFP #1 2/25/12, EDD 10/30/12, missed m/c at 8 weeks, natural m/c on 4/16/12 at 11 weeks.
    BFP #2 7/8/11, EDD 03/18/13.

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