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June 2012 Moms
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in-law (slight) vent

larry&jennylarry&jenny member
in June 2012 Moms
ok, so my in-laws own a children's store which is both a HUGE blessing and a curse.  On Easter they were talking about the kind of crib (brand/style) 'they' think 'they' will go with this time since the kiddos will be sharing a room...while I was standing right there! Did they ask me my input at all?! no.  I feel like they continually give their opinion on what products I need/want and how it's going to work best with two kids...sometimes I just feel like I don't get to make my own decisions (or at least without offending them and feeling very awkward in the process).  On top of it all, my husband is a "third" (III) and we are having a son, so he will be a "fourth" (IV) - which I totally don't get but is really important to my hubby so I am respecting that for him.  But I really don't want to call my son the same name as my husband so we've tried to figure out what he will go by (middle name, or long version of first name, initials, etc.)  There are SO many opinions constantly thrown my way and I know that in the end, it all doesn't matter because they'll all just call him whatever they want to.  Just frustrating in a way - I know he will be well-loved by them and that is ultimately most important, but sometimes it is just hard to have so much input in so many areas...  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest - don't know if I feel better, but it's not to have it continue to hang there!
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Re: in-law (slight) vent

  • Gismo123Gismo123 member
    Ever hear of paragraphs? Your post is very hard to read.....if you're that upset about them excluding you in decisions about furniture then say thanks but no thanks and get you're stuff from another kids store. I don't see why you are stressing so much about what nick name to call him......seems like there are more important things to stress over than that.
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  • TnG05TnG05

    Vent away we all have days like that.  I would let them do all the talking they want about what "they" think they'll go with then you and your hubby make your own decisions, unless your SILs are gifting the item then in a way just suck it up and deal with it. 

    As far as the name, you're right they are going to call him what they want anyway so don't stress about it.  Just figure out what you're going to call him and keep it moving.  

    Getting unsolicited opinions seems to be part of the pregnancy process we just have to deal with.

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  • Davesgrl2011Davesgrl2011 member

    I think this is more of a boundary issue rather than a crib or name issue.  You would like to make your own decisions for your child.  I think that you are perfectly within your rights to want that, and it doesn't make you a bad person. 

    So look at it that way.  The next time your IL's make a comment about what they think is best, look at it as a conversation starter.  They are discussing YOUR baby.  So respond with something like:  "Yeah, I like that crib too, but I was thinking more like this kind of crib because it is (smaller, white, has storage, whatever).  Do you have any cribs like that?" 

    That way you sound polite, but it is obvious that you have your own opinion.  If you never voice your opinion or thoughts, they may very well assume you have no opinion, or that yu agree with them.  That is a very bad habit to start. 

    As for the name issue, not much you can do other than be emphatic about what you plan on calling him.  Families make up nicknames, and they can be unfortunate but impossible to avoid.  My nephew, Jake, is called "Bubba" by just about everyone.  Someday he will REALLY hate that lol!

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