when did you/will you announce?

psychmusetls · April 2012

We were very open with our fertility treatments so all of our close family and friends already know. We were thinking about just putting it out on FB since so many already know but I feel like it's still early. As an IFer, I was always really annoyed when people announced before 12 weeks . . .bitter at their blissful optimism I suppose. I would just hate for people to hear through the grapevine before we announce and then be offended that we didn't tell them first. One of DH's college roommates called and when D picked up all I heard on the other line was "FU!" In a joking way, but he was clearly not happy that D didn't tell him himself. Anyway...thoughts?

limpetfan · April 2012

Well, with MH's side of the family, we pretty much got screwed, as I posted last week. With my side of the family, my immediate family knew within a week of us finding out, as did a few very close friends who knew about our fertility struggles. We just told my extended family this weekend. I don't think I'm going to make a Facebook-specific post, but I will post something on my blog (which links to FB) after our NT scan next week.

ETA: The people who will get offended by hearing through FB usually find a reason to be offended about something anyway (in my experience, anyway), so I wouldn't do something outside your comfort zone just because of them!

theworms · April 2012

we're not making a formal announcement or posting one on FB.

we'll tell people after 13w.

moosegal · April 2012

Immediate family knows, as do a couple of very close friends. I'm not sure I'll make a FB announcement. But if I do, it will probably be around the time we find out if we're having a boy or girl.

Edited to add that we'll send an email to our friends who don't know probably around the beginning of the 2nd trimester.

madhatterxo · April 2012

We told our very close family and friends right away, but we did not post anything on Facebook until around 16-18 weeks.

KDR1979 · April 2012

We were very open with our IF too, but the more IVF's it took, the more private we became about telling people when we were cycling. I always looked forward to the moment of surprising people with an announcement, and knew it was something we may only get to do once (if ever). So, I was SO happy that we were able to sneak this IVF cycle in and got really good about lying! We told our immediate families @ 10 weeks and have it videotaped. We actually watched it over the weekend and it made me cry it was so sweet.

We told friends and extended family at 12 weeks, work @ 12.5 weeks then FB at 13 weeks. Before making a FB announcement though, I sent private emails to everyone that I knew that had gone through IF or had miscarriages b/c I wanted them to find out before seeing it on FB. Our FB announcement was also something like, "After 3 years of heartache, loss, medical procedures and lots of money, we are super excited to announce....etc,etc. So everyone knew that we had to work really hard to make this happen.

ljhgrey · April 2012

I won't post anything on FB. I wanted to tell our parents this wknd but he wants to wait until Mothers Day. My mom knows we've been trying and it upsets me that she is probably wondering and we can't tell her yet. My sisters and two close friends know. I'd like to hold out to 12 weeks to tell extended family. I'm thinking our parents will find out soon. I wont be able to wait much longer!

Sloane99 · April 2012

We told immediate family and a couple of close friends right away - those were the ones that knew we were cycling. I told work after the NT u/s at around 13 weeks and announced on FB shortly after that with a shout out to our RE and fertility clinic.

sloannmark · April 2012

We too were open with our treatments, so close family and friends knew right away. For everyone else (including the facebook world), it will be at 13 weeks after our NT scan.

drubie · April 2012

We had been very open about IF and doing IVF both IRL and on FB (though neither of us as a huge number of FB friends), so we decided to tell our immediate family right when we got our positive, and then announced it to FB when we saw the hb. That way is definitely not for everyone, and I would bet that if we had experience with miscarriage we would not have told that early, but it felt right for us. I also know that I would have wanted everyone's support if something did end up happening.

sbrowns08 · April 2012

We slowly told family and close friends between 7-12 weeks. Pretty much everyone who we want to know now knows. I'm not sure if we'll post on facebook, but if we do it won't be until at least second tri.

naybird · April 2012

We told a very small handful of family and my best friend when we got the BFP. After getting good results from the NT scan we told our family. After the family knew we told the world! We have always been open about our IF struggles, so when we announced, I said our 5th round of IVF worked! A couple friends even reached out to me about their IF struggles, that I didn't know about.

Trish11278 · April 2012

We are very open with our struggles as well and all of our family and friends know at this point. The only concern I have is certain people might slip on FB and say something when I am not ready. I will probably post something at around12/13 weeks.

ccam · April 2012

Our immediate families and my best friend knew that we were going through IVF, so they knew the weekend we found out that it worked. The rest of our families and friends found out after the 1st trimester.

ETA: Neither of us use FB, so we didn't do a big announcement. We probably wouldn't have even if we did use FB. We told friends in person, if possible.

mandalinn25 · April 2012

We told right away. We were open about our struggles with IF and doing IVF. We wanted the support if something were to happen instead of go through it alone. Everyone is different and there is no wrong time or way to tell.

cutebride73 · April 2012

I told a couple close friends and my mom right away. Then I told my bosses at work and a co-worker once I started to get really sick (around 7 weeks). A few weeks later I started to slowly tell a couple of other friends. Last weekend was the big reveal to DH's family (parents, brother and SIL) and I was 13 weeks. Yesterday, we told my dad, my aunt and my brother and SIL (at 14 weeks). I am telling the rest of my work at a staff meeting next week (15 weeks) and DH is going to start telling his friends. We aren't going to announce on fb until at least after I tell at work. So 15 or 16 weeks I would guess. Actually, I have my a/s at 17+ weeks (early b/c I have a trip to go on). We may wait until then for the fb announcement.

DeputiesWife · April 2012

we havent made an announcement on FB -- its not my thing -- and DH is rarely on FB.

we have told our nearest and dearest -- in text, email, person or an announcement I made.

I jut thought of my list of friends on FB and told them separately, the ones I dont have a number or email for.

I am sure when I start posting family photos soon it'll be obvious and Im ok with that.

ETA - I am very open with our IF struggles, posting things on FB and sharing our journey with whomever asked.

jillychris · April 2012

We told parents and my BFF right away, plus my "right hand man" at work who can take some of my work load to lower my stress levels. He's a good freind who has been aware of our struggles, so I was totally comfortable telling him. I also told my principal at 8.5 weeks when I ended up taking a week off for my own sanity!

We were going to tell extended family at 12 weeks, and then friends, and then a FB announcement. But MIL has already told her extended family on her own. We are now telling my ext fam this week, then any friends we want to tell in person, as opposed to a FB announcment. After that, I will share, likely next week sometime. Not sure how I am going to word it yet, but my announcment will definitely include something about our journey to get to this point!

jamielynnohio · April 2012

We told our parents/siblings at 7wks. We announced to the world today.

pb_bride · April 2012

My parents & ILs know already, but it wasn't by my choice. They don't know how far along I am nor the EDD; I'm planning to give them the details once I have my NT scan/1st tri screen results, assuming they come back good.

However, with my AMA, I have a feeling that my 1st tri screen may not come back as low risk. In that case, I probably will opt for CVS or Amnio or MaterniT21. If that's the route I'm going, I'll hold off telling my parents and ILs until those results come back.

DH & I don't do FB, so we definitely will not announce to others that route. Again, with my AMA, I'm actually hoping to delay telling for as long as possible. As a FTM, perhaps my bump won't be too noticeable until I'm completely comfortable in announcing to the world.

DoubleBubble08 · April 2012

We've been very open with IF and our cycles so we told our parents at 5 weeks, close friends at 6 weeks and we just told extended family yesterday.

Jeepie Doll · April 2012

We told our parents only at 8w. My birthday happened to fall around 12w and we were all getting together for dinner, so we told DH's siblings then. The next day we called my siblings and all of DH's aunts. I only told one aunt and asked her to tell the rest of my aunts/uncles/cousins since I have so many and each phone call was taking at least 20 minutes.

After all of our extended family and BFFs were told, we announced on FB. It is hard to tell each and every friend individually so if they happened to be upset, so be it. This is just how timing worked out and the phone calls were taking too long to keep doing every day.

AKB090609 · April 2012

No facebook announcement for us. We want to tell family in person so we will be telling friends and family when we visit our home town in 3 weeks. I will be 21 weeks when we tell.

mandalinn25 · April 2012

Well I guess I one of "those people", since we did announce on Facebook quite early. Our family and friends are all over the world and that is our main form of communication with them. I understand that it isn't for everyone, but no need to judge. We all do things different. One way isn't right or wrong, it just is a personal choice.

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