If you're having guests stay at your house...

travnicek · April 2012

My husband is going to stay with me and the new baby in the hospital all four days we'll be there. So, my parents are coming into town to watch my son the first two days, and then my husband's parents are watching him for a day, and then my dad is coming on the last day to watch him when we bring our new LO home.

So, my house is basically going to be a little hotel for a week.

If you're in a similar situation, are you providing food or money for your house guests? I would love to provide food for everyone who is coming, but I don't know the best way to go about it? Leave a package of rice and a pot by the stove [I kid, I kid...]? I have some meals already stored in the freezer that I could offer...but I would like to eat them when I get home from the hospital (having a c-section, so not going to want to cook). Write down the number of the pizza restaurant next to my son's meals?

I don't know what the proper etiquette is for this situation? Any ideas?

Thanks!

mkflower3000 · April 2012

I think it depends on the relationship that you have with them - my mom is coming about a week after the birth, and I know that she doesn't expect me to feed her (she's also one of those people who loves to bring a ton of food when she comes down anyway). DH's parents are coming a few weeks after that. They're only staying for a few days so it shouldn't be a huge deal, but I am going to buy the extra food for them because it's a very long trip and they're not financially well off (so I'm not sure that I could ask them to buy their own groceries).

I also don't think that there's anything wrong with ordering out, especially so early on when you won't have the time, energy, or mental capacity to all out cook. In that case you could just roll with the punches and see if they offer to pitch in, pay, etc, and go from there.

sstrom22 · April 2012

Wow! If I were to go to an expectant mother's house to help take care of her other child while she was in delivery I would NOT expect her to leave food for me to eat! Maybe stock the fridge with the basics and have food that your son likes to eat (like you'd set it up for a babysitter) but I wouldn't be stressing out about making sure you have meals set up and prepared for them. You are a saint in my book if you do!! I'm not letting ANYONE stay at our house because I don't want to be stressed out about cleaning for them and want privacy when we come home, but I can see with your DS why you'd have people stay.

I'd leave some numbers for pizza or take out and make sure the fridge is stocked and you've got some boxed meals like mac & cheese etc. for them to choose from. I'm guessing they're the kind of people who wouldn't want you to be stressing out over this!

queenaag · April 2012

I'm not in this situation, but if it were me, I would leave an envelope of cash for them (or give them some money beforehand) to use for meals. Let them know how grateful you are for them helping out, and you'd like to at least provide money for meals so they don't have to worry about cooking. If your parents are like ours, they won't take the money, but I always find a way of sneaking it into their hands (i.e. mom's purse)

Davesgrl2011 · April 2012

I would have your kitchen stocked with basics (bread, milk, eggs, etc) and the things your son likes (peanut butter, cereal, fruit cups, etc). Depending on how old your son is, you might want to leave a list of likes/dislikes and meal plans for him. As for feeding the adults, I don't think they will expect all meals cooked or bought for them. I personally would be insulted if I was helping you out under these circumstances (and I was family) and you left cash for pizza like I was a baby sitter. Have some basic meal makers available, and leave a list of good places to eat/take out that your son will also like. Since it is grandparents watching him, they will most likely enjoy a day or two of spoiling your son with treats and special meals!

Also- making sure that you have plenty of clean linens, shampoo, toothpaste, etc, and that the laundry is done so your son has plenty of clean clothes. If you have a pet, stock up on pet foods and leave a petcare cheat-sheet.

A nice thank you gift afterwards should suffice- a bottle of their favorite wine, a dinner out, etc. That's what I would do!

cltk12 · April 2012

My mom and dad will be staying with us while we are at the hospital and the first few days home. They also stayed with my sister with all 3 of her kids for the first few days to help out with the older kids. It's just what they do. They are adults and will fend for themselves. If they go to the grocery store to buy food to make dinners for them or all of us, they will keep the reciept and we'll pay them back, but no way will we be making meals ahead of time for them or while they are there. They are coming to help us out, not make more work for us.

mrs+harlow · April 2012

My mom and dad are coming and I plan on having breakfast food and drinks that I know they like in the house. I have a relationship with my parents in that they wouldn't expect me to have meals and what not ready to go for them with me about to give birth. They are coming to help usout and honestly they would kill me if I went through all the trouble of having meals ready to go for them.

Draba123 · April 2012

My parents are staying with us for a few weeks around my due date to watch DS while we have the new baby. (They live 6 hrs away so they'll come early.) The thought of food hadn't even crossed my mind. I'm assuming once my parents get here my mom and I will probably go grocery shopping and I'll pay for whatever they want to have... if she'll let me pay. Other than that I'll probably just stock up on basics that I know they like (Basic4 cereal, Squirt, Diet Pepsi, apples, etc etc) and I'll be sure to be stocked up on easy meals for DS.

EmilyXLC · April 2012

Normally, I would say you aren't inclined to really provide anything unless you asked them to come down & help. Since they are taking care of your son, I would keep the refrigerator & pantry stocked with basics & meals for your son. I don't really think you should have to go purchase a bunch of extra groceries like you are running a hotel.

joshandpanda · April 2012

sstrom22:
Wow! If I were to go to an expectant mother's house to help take care of her other child while she was in delivery I would NOT expect her to leave food for me to eat! Maybe stock the fridge with the basics and have food that your son likes to eat (like you'd set it up for a babysitter) but I wouldn't be stressing out about making sure you have meals set up and prepared for them. You are a saint in my book if you do!! I'm not letting ANYONE stay at our house because I don't want to be stressed out about cleaning for them and want privacy when we come home, but I can see with your DS why you'd have people stay.

I'd leave some numbers for pizza or take out and make sure the fridge is stocked and you've got some boxed meals like mac & cheese etc. for them to choose from. I'm guessing they're the kind of people who wouldn't want you to be stressing out over this!

ditto.

laurennkeith · April 2012

These are your and DHs parents here. I think you are a saint as well for even giving this as much thought as you have. I feel like at ANY age, parents always want to take care of their children and do not want you to stress over feeling them or leave them money. I would be shocked if they used it even if you left it.

My grandmother is in her 80s and STILL won't let my parents pay for dinner if we all go out! Its just one of those things. Think about it this way, if when your LO is older you go to their house to help out when they are having a baby, do you want your LO worried about feeding you? Nope! Don't stress. Leave some numbers, have the fridge stocked with some basics and realax!

APendola · April 2012

My mom and/or MIL will be there when we are in the hospital. My mom is coming from the other side of the country and will stay for about two weeks. My MIL is coming from another continent, so she will actually stay about six weeks (eek!) So I'm definately not providing food for the entire time that they are there and I think they expect to buy some of their own food from time to time.

I'll have the pantry and fridge stocked with the basics and let them know they are welcome to use whatever they need. I think at the very least, it's nice to have some coffee and breakfast items, so they don't have to go anywhere in the morning.

You may want to leave some food or money to cover your son's food. Or just some emergency money that they can use if they need to, or leave it for you if they don't feel comfortable.

If they aren't familiar with your area, print out a google map and highlight some good take-out places and grocery stores for them.

JaimeG183 · April 2012

I would stock the house with foods for your son and let them figure out their own meals. They would've figured it out at their house- they can go to the store and get what they normally eat.

But, since kids can be picky its nice of you to have stuff you know your son will eat

smacb · April 2012

My mom is staying in my house while I have a c-section and the first week or so I'm home. I'll probably leave her my debit card, She'll have my car so she can grocery shop.

travnicek · April 2012

Thank you for all the feedback, Ladies!!!

I am a teacher, so my natural mode is ORGANIZATION and PLANNING!

I think I'll do what most of you said and just have my fridge and pantry stocked with food, and then leave them some take out numbers on the counter.

Thanks again. Take care!

adussell7 · April 2012

It just depends, since they're coming for a day maybe two you could have some snack foods and maybe a dinner frozen and ready to go or something. Possibly just ask them what kinds of food they like to have around and that would lead to either a better idea of what to buy, or an opportunity for them to say that they'll bring their own food. I would imagine if they're coming to help out they're not going to want to put you out and make you go grocery shopping at nine months. My mom and four year old nephew are coming out for a month or two when baby is due and I know we'll be doing a lot of cooking together when they do, freezing things and all that. And when the rest of my family comes I'm pretty sure they'll want to buy their own stuff.

Want a personalized experience?

If you're having guests stay at your house...

Re: If you're having guests stay at your house...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards