Positive after a Miscarriage...when to tell people

miracleAT5504 · April 2012

We are Pregnant!!! Yayyy!!! We miscarried over a year ago and made the mistake that time of blabbing early and then having to turn around and tell everyone that we miscarried. I am 5 weeks tomorrow and want to share our news with at least our parents, but am still hesitant. Any advice?

LadyNikon · April 2012

The *safe* route is to wait until the 2nd trimester. However, I told my dad and sister. I couldn't keep it away from EVERYONE.

LouiseE13 · April 2012

I understand, I had a miscarriage last year as well and I am now 9 weeks pregnant (and still nervous about it!). After we heard the heartbeat at 7 weeks, I told my parents, my in-laws, and 3 of my close friends. You should tell a few people for support but wait to tell everyone else until after your first trimester.

orgnlmama · April 2012

I would tell anyone whose support you would want of something went wrong. I told my mom and dad and best friends right away because those are the people I would need if the worse case scenario happened.

lmb5109 · April 2012

We told my IL's a few days before I m/c at 5 weeks. So we are waiting till 12 weeks now. After we have the NT scan, we'll tell immediate family. We're waiting till the anatomy scan to tell Facebook and work.

miracleAT5504 · April 2012

Thank you all!

Mrs&Dr2b · April 2012

I told my cousin who is also early pregnant (she is 8 weeks, I am 5 1/2) and my aunt who is like a mother to me. We will wait to tell everyone else until the 12 week mark but these are the two women I talk to the most so I wanted them to know.

mrs.gee · April 2012

After two missed m/c we told parents at 13w and started telling friends after 17w, when I was self-conscious in my clothes. I'm not a huge proponent of "tell the people whose support you'd want" because I could not believe the stupid and thoughtless things people said to me in the name of "support" after my losses.

Meagan0528 · April 2012

LouiseE13:
I understand, I had a miscarriage last year as well and I am now 9 weeks pregnant (and still nervous about it!). After we heard the heartbeat at 7 weeks, I told my parents, my in-laws, and 3 of my close friends. You should tell a few people for support but wait to tell everyone else until after your first trimester.

This is us exactly. So far no one knows except for three very close friends. If everything goes well at our appointment tomorrow, we will tell family, and no one else until the second tri. It's hard, but if anything happens u don't want to have to talk about it to everyone...

NICKLYNN812 · April 2012

I waited to tell my parents and my in laws when we first heard the heart beat. After hearing the heart beat for the second time, we started telling close family members. We had told everyone early on when I miscarried so I didn't want to tell too early this time but I figured my family was there the last time to support me so after hearing the heartbeat, we having been telling everyone. I won't tell my job until after the 1st trimester or at least until I'm showing but my family and close friends know now.

Taylor11 · April 2012

We are not telling a soul until 10-12 wks, family included... I have no desire to tell anyone till we're in the clear, as it was super hard on everyone (friends and family) to go through the ups and downs with us last yr in our m/c and D&C, and I don't want to drag everyone through it again until we know for sure!

Schnooks88 · April 2012

I had a miscarriage in 2008 and then got pregnant again in 2010. We told immediate family right away, grandparents and close friends after the 1st ultrasound, and the rest we told after the 2nd trimester started. I think we will be doing the same thing this time.

This and that · April 2012

I'll be telling my work this coming week because I now have morning sickness and have been struggling getting to work on time. We will be telling family and very close friends after we hear the first heartbeat.

baloneydisc · April 2012

My first two pregnancies ended in m/c. When we got pregnant the third time I told my mom right away (around 6w) because I knew I would need her support if anything happened. DH & I both told our bosses due to my frequent appointments, but we didn't tell anyone else. We didn't even tell my MIL until 14w

newly_naugler · April 2012

We miscarried in Dec. This time, I am waiting until after 12 weeks. I want to hear that heartbeat a couple times before telling anyone.

rkmmore · April 2012

last time we waited till 11 weeks and told then week later found out baby had passed so had to untell everyone, this time I waited till saw heartbeat at 7 weeks and told my mum sister and grandma, hopefully if nt scan goes good tomorrow we will tell the inlaws

mjstraub · April 2012

Thank you for posting this... this is also on my mind as well. We miscarried last fall. I had waited until 8 weeks to tell everyone and at my first ultrasound learned of the misscarriage. It was awful having to continuously tell people that we lost the baby.

This time around, DH and I decided no one but us and the doctors are going to know until after the first ultrasound and we hear the heart beat. If we hold off until Memorial Day Weekend, we should be 10 1/2- 11 weeks and have have an ultrasound and hear the heart beat. If that is the case, we will tell then, but it will only be immediate family and close friends.

Facebook will be lucky to know I am pregant until the baby comes!

Whatever you decide, I pray that everything goes well for you and that you have a Happy Healthy pregnancy!

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