What effect has LO had on your relationship with DH/SO?

MamatoA2010 · April 2012

Has it been positive or negative and why?

LadyXaverian · April 2012

I don't think it's changed us much, but if I had to pick one I'd say positive. We adore our daughter (obviously), and while we already had a great marriage, it adds one more layer to things we love about each other. (He's a great dad; he thinks I'm a great mom.)

saraboston · April 2012

We fight a lot more about trivial things.

We have a LOT less sex.

We both adore DD and loving her makes me love him more.

kg_08 · April 2012

It has definitely been positive. When we got pregnant it actually brought us closer, and after she was born we got even closer again. We both love being parents and it seems like DH is more helpful in general and more patient.

The only negative thing is that we don't have as much alone time, but our relationship has not suffered for it.

amykins1283 · April 2012

It's been positive, I think. We listen to one another more, compromise more easily, etc.

kateweave · April 2012

Overall I think we're closer and we both have so much more love and respect for each other. There have been things that have been harder with having a LO, like less time alone together and more strain on us physically (okay, me..and I take it out on DH) but we have to work harder to be nice so it's been good

bgf1 · April 2012

I don't think DH and I ever fought before C was born. We were both over 30 when we had LO. We had pretty full individual social lives outside of our marriage. DH also works shift work. As a result we always enjoyed spending time together, but we had a lot of time apart. After C was born, I was on mat leave for a year, and I was around a lot more. We both continued with some of our previous hobbies, but scaled way back as we valued having time with LO. As a result we went from being a married couple who spent probably 40% of their time together to one that spent more like 70% of their non working hours together.

That shift in the dynamic combined with the normal lack of sleep and patience that come with having a LO really changed our relationship. We have had to work through a lot of issues, and I've spent a fair bit of time being frustrated with DH since C was born. In the long run I think the process of working through this has brought us closer together, and made us better partners....but it has been rocky at times.

tarebear9891 · April 2012

Afte our first we fought a lot over small things. We hadn't been together long when we conceived our oldest and I feel like on top of really getting to know each other we also had all of the stress that comes with a newborn. But we love each other so we worked through that time and became a stronger couple, it could have easily gone the other way though. We are better partners now with our second and I believe our relationship was changed for the better.

NastyAnnie · April 2012

It has strengthened my love for him, but it has also made me a lot more stressed out, and I get resentful that so much rests on my shoulders.

Comet4658 · April 2012

Overall it has been positive, but it was both positive and negative at different times. It was very positive when I was on maternity leave. Then I went back to work, and had a hard time adjusting and it was negative until DS got easier (slept all night, off bottle, could feed himself). We also moved and were trying to put our house/ finances in order so we had more stress last year. This year it is very positive.

MrsSR · April 2012

It's been really, really, really hard.

I won't lie.

RobinSparkles214 · April 2012

I think we have realized how much we are commited to one another, and that we can make it through rough patches and come out stronger. He's a great father and a wonderful husband, but we still have our days. The boys definitely add a ton of stress, but also a lot of joy.

RobinSparkles214 · April 2012

GhostMonkey:

You mean that ass that insists on taking up half of my bed?

Lol.

Cilley · April 2012

We have only been out on a date twice since my firstborn arrived. I guess it will be a long while before we go out again! It's fine because we get along well and spend a lot of time together at home with both the kids with us. I do miss 'date night', though!

vlagrl29 · April 2012

hasn't changed much at all except we have WAY LESS sex that we use to but it doesn't bother me cause i really don't think about it much anymore.

AppleMomma · April 2012

I'd say it's had both positive and negative affects over the years. More positive than negative. We both hit a point last year where we realized our relationship is more important to work at than the ones with our children. That has made a wonderful difference. We certainly still feel we never spend enough time together, but we always commit an hour to each other before bed or in the morning, or both if we're lucky.

AppleMomma · April 2012

And we were the same for a while, way less sex, then last year some things went down, and I realized for MH that's his way of showing me love and when he feels like he can't do that it puts a crack in our relationship. I still don't understand it fully but I've bumped up the performance A LOT. Even while PG. It's made things amazingly better. As shallow as that may seem...

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