Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Melicakes
member
Re: Is anyone trying on-line dating?
I made it past my goal I nursed for 1 year and 6 weeks! Im so proud of myself!
I think E-harmon.y is an absolute crock.That "assesment" takes like two days to complete. I did it once and after what seemed like hours I finally finished and it said , "no matches" I was like are you freaking kidding me !
I have actually met a few guys from when I did match before.The last one I met was nice but turns out he wasn't looking for a comitted relationship. Sigh...Mind you he's 45. Really, at 45 you still want to play the field? Craziness...
I feel for your friend, but honestly this could have happened with a man she met IRL not just on-line.
I did Match.com and went on a few dates that didn't pan out.
I got tired of paying and signed up for Plenty of Fish. It's free, and you have to do A LOT of weeding. But on the plus side, some of the profiles are so awful it's hilarious. Plus, I noticed a lot of the men from Match were also on there.
I met my current husband on PoF - in fact, he's the only one from there I ever went on a date with. And he's pretty amazing.
That's so sweet. I actually have a few friends who met and eventually married after meeting on-line.
Just because ONE person had a bad experience on e-harmony doesn't mean that a person should never online date.
I met my bf on match, originally. I had a bit of a complex about online dating but the truth is that our paths would not have crossed otherwise. I'm glad I went on there because otherwise I wouldn't have met him.
I had to add too, this was the third time I'd activated my profile so maybe third time is a charm. I didn't have HORRIBLE luck like some, but definitely weeding through a lot of matches and ignoring 62 year olds sending me emails. I would always only stay on a month or two tops. I would get burnt out on it VERY quickly.
I also recommend meeting someone sooner rather than later. Otherwise you devise an online penpal/text buddy so to speak and you start building up all of these expectations about them. Then, you meet them and it's like "what????" odds are there won't be a connection so it's best to just meet to find out and not waste time.
Oh and blind dates can be awkward so if there's something there, give it another shot. When I met J our first date was pretty good but I'd also had quite a bit of wine because I was so nervous. our second date was really awkward so I blew him off. It is hard to go from someone being a virtual stranger to thinking of them in that capacity, instantly. We were friends for a few months before I asked him out and we definitely clicked that time. I think it helped to not have the pressure of a blind date and trying to instantly decide if there was something there.
Oh, and one last thing before I get off my online dating soapbox: if their pictures are iffy don't go there. It's really hard to give someone the benefit of the doubt and then find out that they are less attractive in real life. I was really, really attracted to J based on his pics so I at least knew this would carry out into our date, which it did. Too many times though I've walked into a restaurant and, no joke, wanted to turn and leave when I saw who I was meeting there.
This.
I met my bf on eharmony. We've been together a year and a half, moved in together in January and are talking about getting married next summer. It also turned out that we knew a lot of mutual people, but our paths would probably never have crossed if not for eharmony because our relationships with these people weren't the same (i.e. his neighbor's son is friend with my son from school, so I knew her; a good friend of his from work was friends with my brother growing up).
lol me too! i met y DH online and had we not met that way our paths would not crossed at all and now we are waiting the arrival of baby #2
It's reassuring to me that you ladies found succes in love on-line, I really hope it woirks out for me this time...
I meet my FI online. We knew some of the same people but where never in the same place at the same time...
My late husband's sister also met her husband online (married 1.5 yrs) and so did one of my best friends (happly married 8 yrs)
Def have to be careful but there are some good ones on there!