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Parenting
Kissing on the lips
Do you allow others to kiss your children on the lips (grandparents, other family members)?
[Poll]
[Poll]
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Kissing on the lips
woops dup
There is no SS...
"allow" isn't really the word I would use. I do not like when people kiss my child on the mouth. It doesn't bother me when a grandmother kisses on the lips but aunts no.
There is a saying in Arabic my father always says, "A child's lips are for their mother" or something to that translation. I would never kiss another child on their lips and it'd be nice if no one kissed mine. I always for the the forehead or cheek. Infants I'll kiss the hand, neck, feet, belly etc...
And I vent...
See, I wasn't sure. My family never kissed on the lips. I find it totally inappropriate, gross, and creepy. DH's family all kiss on the lips. They all get cold sores. My 2.5 yo son got a cold sore. I brought it up and asked that nobody kiss my kids on the lips - it created a S-storm. I don't want my 2 month old getting them and now I have to watch DS and make sure he doesn't kiss his baby sister. So sad. DS said grandpa lets him use his tub of carmex - that's even more disgusting. Swishing your dirty finger into a tub of carmex over and over and wiping it on your dirty mouth. Thanks for introducing my son to your nasty accumulation of germs. MIL says she's not had a cold sore recently (though I saw her with one last week) and she's been kissing her other grandchildren and they've never gotten a cold sore.
I don't frigging care about the other grandchildren. They aren't my kids. If their parents are okay with their kids sporting herpes then that's their prerogative.
I voted yes, but only because they all do it anyway and I cringe everytime they do.
I also cringe when DS points at someone's mouth and they think it is funny to "eat" his finger.
I have not found a polite way to tell them not to kiss him on his mouth or to put his finger in their mouth.
Sherpa - with your issue, I wouldn't worry about the s-storm. And you need to get your DH on the same page as you. I would not allow them to kiss my child either, and I would be firm about it. And if they refuse? Oh well, then they don't get to see my kids.
I don't care if people kiss DS. I kiss him on the lips, but I realyl don't think anyone else does. But if I had a very direct cause and effect at play, like you do, my attitude would change and I would be VERY VERY firm.
Let them be pissed - this is your kids health.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I said no. Most of them don't try it. My family is very germ conscious and I've only ever seen them give kisses on the forehead or cheek. My 9month old niece is learning to kiss and kisses on the mouth though. None of us allow it if we even think we are getting sick. So I don't really worry about it.
I don't recall anyone from DH's family trying to kiss DD's lips except BIL's girlfriend. I had to ask her not to and she's always sick! She also was trying to stick her fingers in DD's mouth, no idea why. She's just weird. BIL is banned from kissing LO at all because he is a terrible chain-smoker. I hope my IL's don't kiss her on the mouth. They aren't really a clean bunch at all.
My husband and I don't even kiss the kids on the lips so it would definitely be a no for anybody else. My family has never kissed each other on the lips, we are cheek kissers so it would never be an issue with my side of the family since it's not a habit we have.
My son never likes being kissed so we always blow kisses. The other day, while dropping him off at daycare, he said he wanted to "kiss on the lips". I was sortof startled and then I kid you not, he grabbed ahold of my ears with both hands and yanked me to his lips where he planted a bit wet one. I was so startled I looked up and was getting some major side eyes from the parents and teacher! I just bolted. I don't want to tell DS it's not okay to kiss on the lips but now I just barely peck him and he's gotten the hint.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Yes. We are a family that kisses on the lips. Personally I don't like kissing people on the lips besides my children and MH.
ETA: And we are all herpes and cold sore free....
Awh, IMO there is NOTHING wrong with little kids kissing their family members on the lips. Their intentions are pure & they are just copying what they see as loving gestures between family members. My DS planted a "big wet one" with a little open mouth once when he was around 12 months old. That's when I realized that DS was paying total attention when I greeted DH at the door each night after work ;-) We now just give each other a quick peck when the kids are around; but as the kids have gotten older we have explained that certain kissing is for grown-ups who are married and certain kissing is for our family (on the cheek or a quick peck on the lips) and kissing is only OK with our family. We had to address the last issue because DS told us that he and his "girlfriend" kissed each other (on the cheek). They are 6.
Exactly.
Why would kissing your own child on their lips be "creepy"? I still kiss my grandfather on the lips because that's what he has ALWAYS done, he'd probably be offended if I didn't. There's a big difference between a family peck and a kiss you give your spouse, you know?
I've always kissed my daughter on her lips, unless I'm sick. It's not a constant thing or anything, it's usually before bed after I tuck her in. It's what my family has always done, and I never saw it as a creepy. It's my kid.
Now if others do it to my child?
Yeah- that's creepy. Don't touch my kids lips.
Her very, very close relatives? Fine. Never thought twice about it, nor has she.
I think it's strange that you're made uncomfortable by your DD kissing your DH on the lips. I also find it odd that you're sexualizing an innocent form of affection. Since when is a peck on the lips romantic?
I'm not sure that I've noticed many "others" kiss my kids on the lips. I do.
But, I'm curious, how do you establish and enforce this rule? Scream at them while it's happening? Have a talk beforehand?
I can see not liking it, but I can't imagine saying something to someone.
Special snowflake here.
My mom's done it with both kids, and I remember my grandma kissing us on the lips from time to time growing up. No one else in the family does it though, and I have to say I think outside of grandparents it would weird me out.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
We come from big, loving kissy families. It's the norm here.
I have no problem with the grandparents doing it, but not the extended family.
As long as DD is okay with it. She will never be forced to hug, kiss or even shake hands (at least until she is 10ish) anyone she doesn't want to.
She WILL be required to politely acknowledge people when she meets them and leaves them. As that is mannerly, but touching has nothing to do with manners.
First Child born
5/5/14 and 6/5/14
11/14
Chemical Pregnancy
9/5/15
Second after severe bleeding for 18 weeks due to subchorionic hematoma
Expecting Number 3 due 10/31/2020
I agree.