Do you plan to pay for your childrens' weddings?

Mrs.Hizzo · April 2012

If you have girls? If you have boys?

ValAndRyan · April 2012

I hope to have a good amount of money to contribute to both of my kids weddings and they can use it however they want. I would do the same if we had a girl too. We'll see though as to how much we actually have to be able to contribute.

curlywhirly · April 2012

I have two boys and a girl. I hope/plan to be able to contribute to each of their weddings, if not pay for the whole thing.

It has always bothered me that only the bride's parents traditionally pay, so I specifically want to make sure that we help pay for our sons' weddings.

ccc'swife · April 2012

I only have one girl (one kid total), and yes, I would like to pay for her wedding. My parents paid for mine ~ I am so blessed and very thankful ~ and I would LOVE to do the same for DD without her having to worry about it. I'd like to be able to give her a nice wedding.

penguingrrl · April 2012

I hope I'll be in the position to help with wedding costs if/when my children get married. Right now I only have girls but if I ever had a boy my assumption would be the same. My mom and ILs shared the cost of our wedding and I'm grateful for that help and hope to be able to pay it forward. It will really depend on how our finances look at that point. I won't do for one if I can't do for all (same with college, cars, or other things that would help set them up in life).

tottee2u · April 2012

We want to pay for as much of college as we can and that is ALOT. I think we'll do what our parents did and contribute what we can. H and I paid for %70 of our wedding and honeymoon. I think it's crazy to EXPECT your parents to pay for your wedding.

dsmithplus2 · April 2012

I'm pregnant now, we only want two... This is our last. If it's a girl, we plan to pay for as much of the weddng as we can. Right now, we have LO - boy - and we plan to help with some of the wedding expenses, but not nearly as much as we will if we have a girl.

babypuplove · April 2012

We plan to pay for our girls' weddings in full, and will do the traditional rehearsal dinner for our son, if that's how it works out for all of them. Who knows what things will be like in 25-30 years? (Me being optimistic that they wait until they are at least that old when they marry).

notkateanymore · April 2012

Of course. If I have a boy we will pay for a rehearsal dinner.

ToBeMrsT · April 2012

I'll help with both, but I won't pay more than 8-10k.

EnglishMajor03 · April 2012

My parents gave $5k and I thought that was more than enough. I will probably plan to do the same for my girls AND boy if I have one.

Stacyc625 · April 2012

Nope. Neither one will be getting $ for their wedding.

MamatoJackson · April 2012

We're focusing on college accounts for the kids but will give some help with weddings.

celiabwatson · April 2012

We had a relatively small and inexpensive wedding and I imagine my children will be similar, based on our background and how we will raise them. I hope to be able to give each of my children ~$5K towards a wedding. Our wedding cost less than that and was beautiful. That way they have a little extra towards starting out etc if they go small, and if they plan to go bigger they can learn some valuable skills while saving for that.

brooketini · April 2012

I will probably offer each of them a specific dollar amount for them to use as they choose (either for a wedding, a house, a honeymoon, etc.). I knew my parents had no money to offer me when I got engaged, so DH and I got married on a beach for next to nothing. I'd like my daughter to at least have the option of a more formal wedding if that's what's she really wants (although I'll admit I kind of feel like extravagant weddings are a waste of money)

laurakaz13 · April 2012

Yes. We plan to pay for weddings, college, first car and hopefully downpayment on the first house for our LO.

roxy_jj · April 2012

I haven't really thought much about this, but yes I would like to contribute to their weddings.

Stacyc625 · April 2012

EmilyVReese80:

Stacyc625:
Nope. Neither one will be getting $ for their wedding.

Care to share your reason why?

Not really

notkateanymore · April 2012

Stacyc625:
EmilyVReese80:

Stacyc625:
Nope. Neither one will be getting $ for their wedding.

Care to share your reason why?

Not really

LOL

susanmosley · April 2012

EmilyVReese80:
KateMW:
Stacyc625:
EmilyVReese80:

Stacyc625:
Nope. Neither one will be getting $ for their wedding.

Care to share your reason why?

Not really

LOL

BAHAHA...I don't really blame you!

Haha. That's great!

Sure, I would like to. But more importantly, I want DD to have the kind of wedding (or not have a wedding) as she wants. So it will depend on the logistics and specifics when we get there. But assuming she wants what I am considering a traditional wedding, there will be some sort of budget. It won't just be a free for all.

pevila · April 2012

DH and I paid for 75% of our wedding, but I know that if my parents could have, they would have paid for the whole thing. I would love to be able to pay for at least something big. I have a girl but it would be the same if I had a boy.

mgarza1231 · April 2012

Yes. We have plans to start a specific savings plan for DD's wedding. If we have a son, we will contribute what we can when his wedding rolls around.

sophie206 · April 2012

We will likely contribute a set amount and I would expect DD and her FI to come up with the rest if having a large/expensive wedding was important to them. I, myself, was a "budget bride". My Mom and I did a lot of it ourselves and kept things simple so it's hard for me to "buy in" to the glitzy wedding culture.

Sawyerplus1 · April 2012

EnglishMajor03:
My parents gave $5k and I thought that was more than enough. I will probably plan to do the same for my girls AND boy if I have one.

This. My parents and DHs parents both generously contributed $5000 towards our wedding and we decided we would do the whole wedding and honeymoon within that budget. It certainly wasn't an expectation for us that they'd pay for the whole thing. We'll likely do the same or similar for our LOs; contribute a portion they can do what they want with, for either boy or girl.

MesmrEwe · April 2012

I think a lot will depend on the dynamics of the situation when we get there... Who knows what inflation will do to the dollar this far out. If we contribute there of course will be strings attached to it in terms of expectations (no splurging! yet not junky/crap either and DIY to a minimum!). As my late FIL said "I ain't going to Jamaica" and the moment he met his match "I don't want her to make me look cheap" (There must have been people doing triple takes and spitting coffee through their noses for this one because they realized he had finally met his match!)...

pinksweetpea2 · April 2012

We will probably give them a certain amount of money (a good chunk) and let them run with it. That is what my parents did and I really appreciated it.

DHs parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and a lot of our honeymoon. That is what we would probably have done if we had boys.

kcisthebombdotcom · April 2012

Likely not all. We'll set aside $x amount of dollars and give all of our kids exactly the same amount towards that, boy or girl. If they dont use it for a wedding, it will go towards a bigger down payment on a house.

eaglesfan700 · April 2012

amy052006:

Well, wedding isn't really high up on our savings priority list, but yes, provided the rest of our ducks were in a row, we certainly would pay for some/all of a wedding. Boy or girl is irrelevant. My parents paid for the bulk of our wedding, and have told my brother he has a lump sum payment coming his way for the same thing (or another priority if he so chooses).

My parents were never really ones to use money (or more aptly not use their money) as a way to teach lessons or responsibility. Their financial house was in order, so they did what they could for us. It resulted in two kids who are good with money, so they were on to something!

Pretty much this. My parents paid for the weddings of all their daughters (four of us) and paid for rehearsal dinners for my brothers and also offered money towards the wedding to my SsIL's parents (which was declined).

I am feeling like whatever we do for one we should do for the other, boy or girl. So we'll see. As Amy said, it's not high on the savings priority list but we would like to be able to do something

Andrewsgal · April 2012

amy052006:
Well, wedding isn't really high up on our savings priority list, but yes, provided the rest of our ducks were in a row, we certainly would pay for some/all of a wedding. Boy or girl is irrelevant. My parents paid for the bulk of our wedding, and have told my brother he has a lump sum payment coming his way for the same thing (or another priority if he so chooses).
My parents were never really ones to use money (or more aptly not use their money) as a way to teach lessons or responsibility. Their financial house was in order, so they did what they could for us. It resulted in two kids who are good with money, so they were on to something!
Fun story, when we got engaged my MIL said, "I am glad I just had a boy and don't have to pay for that.". Then she said, "Her ring is bigger than mine." She is a treat.

I agree with this.personally I think it is sad that the only way they can think of to teach their kid to be responsible and good money managers is to not pay for big things in their lives. My parents paid for everything for my sister and me. First and second cars, college, and amazing fairy tale weddings, and we are so very grateful. We are also great money managers, they taught us how to earn, save and spend money throughout life they did not just use it as an excuse to not have to pay for big events. I agree that your postal finances should come first but if you have the money I just don't see why you wouldn't pay.

My wedding was one of the most amazing days of my life, and a perfect celebration of the beginning of my and DH's life together. It was a day I will always remember and I can't wait to give that gift to my kids.

MrsC17 · April 2012

I will contribute but I likely won't pay the whole way. We already plan to pay for their entire college education (and will probably end up paying for things like their first cars' and car insurance through college, etc). DH and I paid for 95% of our wedding ourselves with some contribution from our parents (mostly his) and had a wonderful, perfect wedding.

MrsBalletStar05 · April 2012

Since I have boys I guess I will expect to help out with the cost somewhere, but not planning on paying for the entire thing. Man, so far off my radar at the moment though! I'm just hoping they grow up well enough that some girl will want to marry them! hahaha

abs05 · April 2012

We plan on helping with both college and her wedding if we are financially able to do so. At this point I can't see any reason why we wouldn't be able to, but things can change fast so you never know.

Dochas · April 2012

No. Even if I had a girl. I was very surprised to read that people start a wedding fund like a college fund. But I wasn't a little girl that dreamed about a wedding her whole life. When I look at him the LAST thing I think of is a big fancy wedding that may never happen!

wifeandmama · April 2012

I always chuckle when people have such hard and fast opinions about things like weddings, cars, etc for their kids because it's sooo not on my radar. I have no idea what we'll do. I guess we'll see?

Rebekah1021 · April 2012

Andrewsgal:
amy052006:
Well, wedding isn't really high up on our savings priority list, but yes, provided the rest of our ducks were in a row, we certainly would pay for some/all of a wedding. Boy or girl is irrelevant. My parents paid for the bulk of our wedding, and have told my brother he has a lump sum payment coming his way for the same thing (or another priority if he so chooses).
My parents were never really ones to use money (or more aptly not use their money) as a way to teach lessons or responsibility. Their financial house was in order, so they did what they could for us. It resulted in two kids who are good with money, so they were on to something!
Fun story, when we got engaged my MIL said, "I am glad I just had a boy and don't have to pay for that.". Then she said, "Her ring is bigger than mine." She is a treat.
I agree with this.personally I think it is sad that the only way they can think of to teach their kid to be responsible and good money managers is to not pay for big things in their lives. My parents paid for everything for my sister and me. First and second cars, college, and amazing fairy tale weddings, and we are so very grateful. We are also great money managers, they taught us how to earn, save and spend money throughout life they did not just use it as an excuse to not have to pay for big events. I agree that your postal finances should come first but if you have the money I just don't see why you wouldn't pay.
My wedding was one of the most amazing days of my life, and a perfect celebration of the beginning of my and DH's life together. It was a day I will always remember and I can't wait to give that gift to my kids.

This is how I was raised too. My parents paid for half of my brother's weddings and most of mine, minus the rehearsal dinner and bar.

DD is probably going to be an only and her college is all taken care of. I want her to have the wedding of her dreams.

MrsSparklesMcGee · April 2012

amy052006:
Fun story, when we got engaged my MIL said, "I am glad I just had a boy and don't have to pay for that.". Then she said, "Her ring is bigger than mine." She is a treat.

Eww. When I got my ring, it wasn't sized so I couldn't wear it. We saw his parents and his mother TRIED ON MY RING. Not cool.

To answer the question, we plan to contribute as much as we can for first car, college, wedding, first down payment, etc. as long as we have our finances in order to do so. We will do the same for our daughter and any future sons or daughters we may have.

bim38106 · April 2012

Yes.

But I'm certainly not narrow minded enough to judge those who won't.

kristoprimo · April 2012

we put 50 a month in an resp for education plus what ever money he gets from family and we put another 30 a month into a savings account so that he will have some extra put away for what ever he wants to do with it - wedding or towards a house or whatever else he needs.

Ilumine · April 2012

We will provide each child $10K + inflation (to be fair, since SD is 24, SS is 16 and DD is 3 and inflation is going to make it nigh impossible for my DD to do anything iwth only $10K) for their wedding. It will be a gift to be used in any way they want.

If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to fund it. The days of the brides parents paying for the wedding went away LONG before the performances of today. Since brides are no longer going from teh parental home to the grooms home, thus not having any money to host an event (which was originally just a small something in the church's annex) no longer exists...my need to go into debt over one day is gone too.

eaglesfan700 · April 2012

EmilyVReese80:

wifeandmama:
I always chuckle when people have such hard and fast opinions about things like weddings, cars, etc for their kids because it's sooo not on my radar. I have no idea what we'll do. I guess we'll see?

This is exactly what I was thinking! I've been reading through these responses and have found good points in a lot of them, but there are just too many variables for me to even have an opinion.

I totally agree with this, I am just saying that if everything else is covered and we have a big pile of money, I can't see a reason not to.

StephNJer · April 2012

EmilyVReese80:

wifeandmama:
I always chuckle when people have such hard and fast opinions about things like weddings, cars, etc for their kids because it's sooo not on my radar. I have no idea what we'll do. I guess we'll see?

This is exactly what I was thinking! I've been reading through these responses and have found good points in a lot of them, but there are just too many variables for me to even have an opinion.

Exactly. I think I'll worry about paying for DD's dance recital right now, and worry about the rest of the stuff that's going to happen in 20 or so years, later. lol

We'll concentrate on college savings for them and retirement savings for us right now. Theoretically, yes, I would love to help contribute to their weddings in some way, but again, it's SO far off in the future, I put it as one of those "we'll wait and see" type of things.

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