Am I letting her down already??? (C/S related)

Jesse's Girl 10 · April 2012

I have major anxiety issues, especially when it comes to being tied down. It just freaks me right out.

At my last midwife appointment, I made it clear to them that in the event that I need a c-section, I wanted a general anesthetic. I feel that this is the best thing for me and for my daughter. I know myself and if I can't feel my legs and I'm strapped to a table, awake and being cut open, I will have a major attack. I want the doctors to be providing the best possible care to my daughter and not worrying about me and my issues.

I feel like I'm letting my daughter down for the first time the very second she's born and I feel really sh!tty about this.

If this was you, what would you do? Would you suck it up and take the spinal (or epidural), or would you ask to be knocked out??

marriedsisterofbride · April 2012

I personally wouldnt go for the general, would rather be awake and hear her first cry etc. I would maybe try to work it out but if you cant, you cant.

Annie234567 · April 2012

You are doing the best you can in the situation at hand, and that's all anyone can ask of you. You are trying to be cognisant of your limitations, and that's smart -- you're not letting anyone down by doing that.

I don't know if my doctor would even consent to give general anesthesia in the event of a c/s, but I also have different triggers for panic -- we're all different. If I thought I was going to freak out in that situation, I would explain my concerns to my doctor and see what contingency plan they have in place for if I did have a panic attack during surgery, since that doesn't sound like an ideal situation. It sounds like this will come down to weighing risks and benefits with your doctor. Maybe they can put you in a sort of twilight state to relax you, with the option of knocking you out further if necessary. No matter what you and your doctor end up deciding, just remember that everything will turn out okay. GL!

Tambcat · April 2012

Well, for me, I would do the epi/spinal. I'd actually like to watch, even though I don't think they allow that. I get panicky at the thought of general anesthesia.

But if the c-section is going to give you major anxiety, then I think you are doing the right thing by getting general anesthesia. I don't see this as letting your daughter down at all.

danandbethg · April 2012

I had a spinal, and it wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. It was a weird sensation, not feeling anything below my belly button, but I didn't find it scary. I woudn't have wanted to miss my son's first cries...or when they brought him to me (while closing me up) and I got to kiss his sweet face for the first time. Also, a general isn't without risk for your LO. They need to cut very fast, so that the meds don't get to your baby (I have been at 11 years worth of c-sections at work). A spinal won't affect LO. Do what you think is best for you and your baby...but the spinal wasn't bad...and they didn't tie me down...

HeatherAA10 · April 2012

You are not letting her down! You are doing what you think is best and that's awesome! I have anxiety issues as well and being "stuck" anywhere is a major issue for me, so I totally understand where you are coming from. Since I generally have problems with closed spaces (ie: elevators)where I feel like there's no escape or I am alone, I am not as worried about a c/s, I am hoping that if I need one DH will keep me focused enough not to freak out. You do what you need to do...its better for LO if you are not stressed and freaking out! Good luck!

orriskitten · April 2012

I'd say to trust your gut on this one and not beat yourself up about it. You are not letting your LO down by going under general- many times with c/s if the spinal doesn't work, this is what they do anyway (I was told of this at my childbirth class and know my step mom had to go under general with her first) so it is not uncommon. If it makes you more comfortable, then do what you have to do.

I'd also do as pp said and discuss with your mw if there is a medication that can be given to kind of twilight you or relax you. It may be enough to put you in an okay place for it to happen. I do believe they administer something like this sometimes and seem to remember someone on here bumping that their anesthesiologist asked "one margarita or two?" in regards to how dazed she should feel (this stuck out for me quite a bit lol). May be worth looking into, but safety is safety, for you and your LO.

Beener0514 · April 2012

Anxiety is such a real thing that should not be overlooked. Do what is best for you and LO and forget about anyone else's preconceived notions about what birth "should" be like. Your LO will never remember and you'll end up having a better experience for you.

GAPeach68 · April 2012

Do whatever is comfortable for you - as everyone else said. I have had 2 c/s and my 3rd is scheduled for next week. Although I have a little anxiety about surgery in general, it is so overshadowed by the awesomeness (can't think of a better word) of meeting your new LO. In my situation, my attention was focused on the babies and everything else was secondary. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

Mabillon · April 2012

I agree with the majority of PPs. However, I really think you may want to explore an alternative to full general with your doctor. Somebody mentioned twilight sleep. They gave me something similar when I had a colonoscopy done and it was easy-peasy (and so much easier than waking up from general - I hate that period of time). Maybe combined with an epi/spinal?

I wish I remembered the name of the drug they used but I distinctly remember "waking up" during the procedure and being all "hey guys, what's up?" and then going back to sleep when they told me to...LOL. At that wake up, I felt pressure but no pain and I was super chilled out.

All that said, those kinds of drugs may be too dangerous to pass through to baby. Go with what works for you and your exact situation. I, too, am freaked out at the thought of having my arms tied/held out to the side if I have to get a C/S. Hopefully, I can hold them out myself but I'm going to attempt it since I know that I HATEHATEHATE waking up from general anesthesia!

ColoRxGirl · April 2012

Your c/s experience wouldn't be limited to a choice between wide awake and terrified vs. general anesthesia. Remember that general anesthesia carries more risk to you than spinal or epidural analgesia, so that may affect your doctor's and the anesthesiologist's decision. Anesthesia providers have a LOT of tricks in their bag to minimize anxiety and agitation without rendering you unconscious or unable to breathe on your own. Be up front with your providers about your anxiety level and they can absolutely work with you to make you comfortable.

I had my c/s emergently with an epidural already in place. The anesthesia doc gave me a bolus of fentanyl in the epidural (to expand the area where I was numb) to get me ready for surgery and offered me Versed (midazolam - a sedative) because he could tell I was a little scared at the turn of events. I was able to think about it and ended up declining because I really wanted to remember his birth. I was still pretty sleepy and chilled out from the fentanyl, but I did get to hear that first cry - which was wonderful.

Jesse's Girl 10 · April 2012

Thanks everybody so much for your advice. I had never thought about an alternative to being knocked out.

My midwife has arranged a consult with the anaesthetic clinic at the hospital that I would have the c/s at to discuss my options and fears with them ahead of time. This way, everything will be in my chart and there won't be any need to discuss it should the necessity of a c/s happen and there's no time to talk options.

I have been feeling so much guilt over this and your support has been amazing so thank you again so much.

marriedsisterofbride · April 2012

You will be okay either way. Just make sure you ask as many questions and get as much informationas possible. You dont want to go into this second guessing that you are making the right decision, no matter what decision you have ultimately made.

AwkwardBaby · April 2012

I was so nervous before my c-section (March 25). However, once I got into the OR the anesthesiologist gave me something to calm my nerves, and it was fantastic! I remember the whole thing - but I wasn't nervous or scared at all (and I was crying huge alligator tears before the procedure). I would see about this before you go for the general - because it will be a few hours before you'll be able to see your baby and your husband won't be able to be in the delivery room!

erniebufflo · April 2012

Just had my section a week ago, and I had no idea I was strapped in. They did it after I was numb and after the curtain was up. I was going "I'm so scared I'm going to feel it" to the anesthesiologist AS I was already being cut. Part of what helped me be chill is they put a little "goofy juice" aka versed in my line after the spinal/epi combo were in place. I still remember my babies being born, but it made me calm. Maybe ask about that.

jeffsjayme · April 2012

spinal, but i've had previous surgeries and being immobile for a short time doesn't scare me. I don't think you'll feel super strapped down.

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