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June 2012 Moms
madhatterxo
member
How old to bring baby to a wedding
madhatterxo
member
We have 2 weddings in July which will be about 5-7 weeks after baby's due date. We have coverage to watch the baby, but I was wondering if anyone would bring their baby at this age. I kind of want to bring her to the wedding that is 7 weeks after her due date, but I don't have to. Just curious.
Me: 27, DH: 28 TTC since 11/09
2/10 & 3/10 Clomid 50mg-BFN
5/10-Lap Surgery for Stage 2 Endo
3/11-IUI#1 with Follistim and Menopur-developed mild OHSS= BFN
6/11-IUI#2 with Follistim -developed moderate OHSS= BFN!
7/11-FSH-11, AMH 1.6
9/11-ttc naturally with positive thoughts
10/6/11-POSITIVE pregnancy test!!! 15dpo BETA-220
6/14/2012- Riley Harper arrived!! We love our little girl
<a href="http://s532.photobucket.com/albums/ee324/exploshidad/?action=view
2/10 & 3/10 Clomid 50mg-BFN
5/10-Lap Surgery for Stage 2 Endo
3/11-IUI#1 with Follistim and Menopur-developed mild OHSS= BFN
6/11-IUI#2 with Follistim -developed moderate OHSS= BFN!
7/11-FSH-11, AMH 1.6
9/11-ttc naturally with positive thoughts
10/6/11-POSITIVE pregnancy test!!! 15dpo BETA-220
6/14/2012- Riley Harper arrived!! We love our little girl
<a href="http://s532.photobucket.com/albums/ee324/exploshidad/?action=view
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How old to bring baby to a wedding
DS - Born 6/17/12
DS#2 - Due 2/11/15
2012: Running & Race Accomplishments:
2-12-12: Riverview Winter Fest 4 mile, 34:59 8:45 pace - 23 weeks pregnant
2-29-12: Leap Year 4 mile, 36:45 9:11 pace - 25.5 weeks pregnant
3-11-12: Corktown 5K, 28:33 9:13 pace - 27 weeks pregnant
3-25-12: Rock CF Island Half Marathon, 2:11:03 10:00 pace - 29 weeks pregnant
4-16-12 Boston Marathon, deferring to 2013
8-11-12: Run thru Hell 10 mile or 4.8 mile
9-30-12: Brooksie Way Half Marathon
10-21-12: Grand Rapids Marathon
11-22-12: Detroit Turkey Trot 10K
We have weddings where LO will be 4 weeks for, 7 weeks, 9 weeks, and then a few more between 3-4 months. LO will be coming to all of them- they're all far enough away that we will have to stay overnight, and as I plan to EBF there is no way I'd be comfortable leaving LO for 24 hours when he's that young. I have a sling and I plan to wear LO most of the time, and I'm planning to sit in the very back of the ceremony so I can make a quick exit if he cries. We'll also probably leave the reception early.
All of the weddings are for DH's good friends and they have all said that LO is more than welcome to attend, though.
It all really depends on your relationship with the bride and groom. This is after all their "day" and if they have said no kids, I think this includes babies. Brides especially can be really funny and weddings are a stressful time. You also don't want to take attention away from the bride and groom if there are family members there that have no seen your baby yet, cause you know they will definately want to
.
If they have okay'd bringing kids, then by all means go for it! I agree with PP that this is very young to leave you LO with a sitter who is not a close family member. Good luck and have fun.
I completely disagree with this. Some people DO NOT want babies at their formal events which they have spent months planning and likely have spent thousands of dollars on. Some don't want them at the most important ceremony of their lives.
If the baby IS invited, I think you can swing it. The baby will be fine most likely, but be warned that of course lots of people will be cooing over the baby and may want to hold the baby.
If it wasn't made perfectly clear to you in no uncertain terms that the baby IS invited, then you need to ask the bride and groom if it's even ok in the first place.
At that age, I would certainly bring the baby if it is something you want to do. In my opinion, as a new mom - you need to do what you feel most comfortable with and what is best for your baby. I exclusively BF my DD until she was 7.5 months so she went EVERYWHERE with me for the first 6 or so months and it was completely accepted (baby showers, christenings, bridal showers, weddings, hair appointments, etc). Looking back to that age range, I wasn't ready to leave her overnight nor did I want to.
It wasn't until she was crawling that I felt ok, this may not be appropriate. She would cry if we didn't let her crawl when she wanted to crawl.
Just my thoughts/opinion.....
Do you have a relative that can go with you and watch the baby during the ceremony/part of the reception even if the baby is invited? that way LO is there for you to nurse, but you don't have to worry about crying during vows, etc.
We have a wedding (my sister's) to go to about three months after our baby will be born. She has explicitly told me she doesn't want him at the ceremony (my mom agrees), but he can come to part of the reception (but she doesn't think it's fair for us to sit there with the baby the whole time and not dance, etc). Her friends will have their nanny there, so we may use her to watch LO for part of the time, or we may have DH's mom come and watch the baby for the ceremony/part of the reception (hour drive so we don't want her driving back late and DH doesn't want to ask her to stay the night), or we may end up leaving him for basically a day and a half.
Yeah, definitely clear it with the bride first. It's an awkward conversation, but it will be even more awkward if you show up with an uninvited guest. Personally, I think newborns under 3 months should be an exclusion from the "no children" rule. However, I know a lot of newly weds just don't get how difficult it is to leave a child that age with a sitter for 10+ hours.
We're struggling with the same issue. LO will be ~9 weeks old and EBF when my friend is getting married 2 hours away. I'm trying to come up with all sorts of plans for how this could work. The only plan I've come up with is to pay a sitter to watch the kids in a hotel room near the reception. I would have to go back and forth during the wedding to BF. It's going to be really expensive and I'm just not sure it's worth it.
I agree with you 100%!
This! We were also "no kids" for our wedding. I know it's difficult when you have a young baby, but it's all about what the bride and groom want for THEIR day. They only get one wedding day, and if you don't think it's fair if your child isn't welcome then just don't go.
I told my SIL that she wasn't allowed to bring her 3 month old to ours, and she had a major problem with it. So I had my husband make it clear that if she didn't like it she was free to stay home with him. In the end she had her MIL watch the baby. I get EBFing and the issues that arise there, but that shouldn't make you the exception on someone else's special day if they don't want children there. The bride and groom have enough to worry about and have gone through tons of stuff to make sure it's perfect and the last thing they need is someone giving them crap about not being able to bring their kids.
Haha sorry for the rant....i'm super hormonal and this issue really bothers me!
Check with the bride (grooms don't always have the final/right say). Or have your DH check if the wedding is his friend/family.
As previously stated not all weddings invite children. If you are given the clear then go for it, but sit near the back for the ceremony and try not to let the attenion shift from bride and groom to your baby.
I am in a wedding at the end of Oct, and it is one of my best friends (actually the LO's godmother) and she has asked if I would bring the baby. I told her I would consider it if I was just going to her wedding, but as I will be in it, I feel better about having LO stay at home and we will just go home after the wedding instead of staying at the hotel.
We have 2 family weddings this summer when LO will be only 3 weeks and 7 weeks old. Both are on DH's side of the family, so we have asked my mother to come to both and will be getting her her own hotel room to watch the baby while we are at the ceremonies and receptions, and I will have to shuttle back and forth to BF and "Check-in" with my Mom and the baby.
It is not an ideal situation, and the baby is actually welcome at all events for both weddings. However, both will be large events one over 400 people and when LO is that young I just don't feel comfortable with all the people who will want to touch and hold the baby doing so.
It's not bad etiquette at all. It's their event and their rules, no matter what the supposed etiquette gods think. And breastfeeding isn't a free pass. Besides, you never know their reasons. This isn't the entire reason we were anti kids but when I got married I had just had my 5th miscarriage and had been told I would never be able to carry a baby. Nobody but my husband and I knew about that. It would have hurt A LOT to see any babies there, especially when it was supposed to be a happy day for me.
This. If I had to go to a wedding when LO was that young and was told I couldn't bring him along, I would graciously decline the invite and just send a card instead. There were a lot of debates over on the knot about this when I was getting married last fall.
That's incredibly rude. Like I said their event their rules and who are you to judge their choices or reasons. I would think very low of a guest who judged the bride for that.
Wow you totally missed my point. An no I'm not acting high and mighty, I was actually taking your exact sentence and putting another spin on it. Etiquette doesn't matter when it's THEIR event. They should be able not allow whoever they want. it doesn't matter if they are breastfeeding or not. It's also proper etiquette to not bring your newborn to the wedding of someone who is struggling with infertility if that will hurt their feelings. And that was my point because that was my personal experience.
I'm due June 7th and I am planning on bringing baby to a wedding on August 18th. Its a wedding for my close college friend- the wedding will be a bit of a reunion for a bunch of us roommates and everyone wants to meet the new addition. I'll be lucky though, cause the wedding is about 15 minutes away from my mom and dad's house, so if we run into issues, or we want to stay at the wedding, my mom said she would babysit and come pick him up... we'll see what happens
Pfffffft. No.
My wedding invitation made it absolutely clear that children of any age were not welcome. I've been to too many weddings and had to listen to a child cry or talk all the way through the ceremony. You are not entitled to bring your child with you where ever you go just because you have one. Just because you love your child doesn't mean the entire world does. Two people showed up at my wedding with children and they were asked to leave. The invitation made our wishes clear. Disregarding our wishes on our special day was ruder than rude.
OP, if the invitation doesn't make it 100% clear, call the bride and ask her. No biggie.
2/10 & 3/10 Clomid 50mg-BFN
5/10-Lap Surgery for Stage 2 Endo
3/11-IUI#1 with Follistim and Menopur-developed mild OHSS= BFN
6/11-IUI#2 with Follistim -developed moderate OHSS= BFN!
7/11-FSH-11, AMH 1.6
9/11-ttc naturally with positive thoughts
10/6/11-POSITIVE pregnancy test!!! 15dpo BETA-220
6/14/2012- Riley Harper arrived!! We love our little girl
<a href="http://s532.photobucket.com/albums/ee324/exploshidad/?action=view
Obviously you didn't read her post where it said she had suffered her 5th miscarriage just before her wedding and nobody but her SO knew about it. If I had been in her shoes I would take this issue to heart too. But I'm sure you would assume she was just one of those horrible brides who didn't "want a baby there because they don't want attention taken away". Don't pretend to know what people's reasons are for not wanting babies/children at their event. They don't have an obligation to tell you why they've made that request, just as you as the mother of a newborn have the right not to go to the wedding because of that request.
People spend thousands of dollars on their wedding and regardless of whether or not it is "proper etiquette" to allow a BF mother of a newborn to a wedding, in the end it is the bride and groom's decision whether or not to invite babies/children. IMHO it is proper etiquette to respect the wishes of the bride and groom even if it isn't what you would do yourself.
OP - I agree with the other posters who suggest checking to make sure babies/children are invited before taking LO to the wedding. I EBF DS and by the time he was 7 weeks old I was able to leave him for quite a stretch of time, I just left pumped milk for my mom or MIL to give him in my absence. I did have to pump while out to keep from getting engorged, but I just did so in the car (in this case it was dark out, but if it isn't you can always use a cover). Not to mention the fact that if you don't bring your LO, you will be able to have a drink or two and not feel guilty about assuming they are serving alcohol at the reception. We went to a wedding when DS was 10 weeks old and honestly I was happy to be able to enjoy the wedding/reception without having to worry about the baby. Not bringing him meant we didn't stay really late, but we were able to have a good time. Meanwhile, he was in his normal environment and able to sleep much, much better than he would have if we had taken him with us. But then again, I'm really picky about his sleep routines (although at the time he was just sleeping when he needed, but I was particular about him sleeping in environments he was familiar with).
I'm a MOH in a wedding on Sept 1st, so LO will be a little under three months old. My BFF just told me a few weeks ago that it will be an adults only ceremony and reception and while I was a little annoyed at first, it is entirely her decision. It's more that it'll be a hassle to figure out what to do than I don't understand why or respect her wishes. Thankfully it's only about a half hour away and hopefully there will be time to get back to the LO between the ceremony and reception but thankfully BFing will hopefully be established by then and I'll have an adequate supply to have extra.
That said, if she'd allowed it, I would have brought LO. But, I completely understand, from several standpoints, not wanting even sleeping infants there. It's not about me; it's about her and her fiance.
Really starting to veer off into NBR here, but...
I'm always a bit surprised and chagrined when I hear the "wedding is a bride's day and is all about what she and groom want" stuff. I believe that when you throw a party (and the reception, at least, is really just a big fancy party), your guests' wishes and comfort are very much important too. It should never be all about one person, in my opinion. Being the bride doesn't give you license to turn into a beyotch.
That said, if someone doesn't want kids at their party, fine. It's their party and they can decide that. But I also firmly believe exceptions should be made, when possible, for babies under 3 months. Given the challenges of BFing, I'd completely understand why a new mother doesn't want to be separated for the 4 or more hours of a wedding and reception. And just like I assume hosts consider their guests' comfort, I expect guests to do the same thing-which means removing a crying baby from the ceremony and finding a quiet spot for nursing if needed during the reception.
Side note: the kids (8 months-15) at our wedding were one of the best things about the day. They were all incredibly well-behaved during the ceremony (or if they weren't I had no idea and didn't notice) and they had such a great time at the reception-especially dancing! They made the day much more special.