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Pissed and sad (not loss related)

MandiemnMandiemn
in Late Term and Child Loss

My mom and I have a very difficult relationship. She has had mental issues and was an alcoholic my whole life. She also dwells on negative and is very hard for me to be around.

Tonight she took a bunch of pills and drank and is currently in ICU, but stable. She did this in an apparent suicide attempt.

I am so angry right now that I can't see straight. Why would she be so selfish to put people that love her through this? Why would she do this to me!? 

I'm barely holding on to my own sanity since I lost Buffy and I can't deal with this right now. 

I told her partner, who is at the hospital with her, to call me if she dies...other than that I want nothing to do with her. 

This might sound cold and uncaring, but I feel like I can't have her in my life if she is going to do things like this.

I love my mom. I hope she can get the help she needs. 

Thanks for letting me vent. 

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BFP 10/31/11 EDD 7/15/12 pPROM 2/25/12
"How very softly you tiptoed into our world. Almost silently; Only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footprints have left on our hearts."
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Re: Pissed and sad (not loss related)

  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
    I'm so sorry this is happening to you!  Sending my T&P tonight!
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  • samakasrcsamakasrc member
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.  :(  Sending big (((hugs))).  Sometimes you have to do what's best for you, and right now it sounds like you did just that...
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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member

    I'm sorry. It's hard enough dealing with the loss of your baby without adding more to it. I hope she can get the help she needs too.

    {Hugs}

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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member

    My mom is very similar. Yesterday she was having suicidal thoughts so my dad took her to the hospital before she could do anything. I was worried she would go through this shortly after we lost Aidan, but it only came about due to a medication change.  

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  • cherrycobblercherrycobbler member
    I'm so sorry you are having to go through this right now.  I do hope that your mom is ok and that she gets the help that she needs.  big (hugs) for you.
    BFP#1: EDD 10/11/11 Our sweet boy Robin was born 7 weeks a little early on 8/23/11 due to HELLP syndrome, unfortunately he was diagnosed with Trisomy13 and left us on 8/29/11. BFP#2: EDD 10/13/13
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  • littlepenguin2012littlepenguin2012 member
    I am so, so sorry you are having to deal with this  ((hugs))
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  • blessedhopeblessedhope member

    I see i am late in responding to this but thought I would anyways in hopes that you check back again. I started crying when i saw what you had posted because it hit so close to home. My mother is similar. She still has two young preteens at home and I worry about them all the time. My mothers and I's relationship has always been one of me being the parent and looking out for her and her being the needy one. She too is mentally unstable and on drugs. She has been frequently hospitalized in the mental ward. It makes me angry that i have to deal with this on top of my loss. She has called up and said very hurtful things about my loss. lately i have just decided not to call her. i usually am always calling and trying to take care of her and my younger half siblings but lately my attitude is, "i am so done with this." It makes my angry too. She is a very negative person too but before my loss I could handle it because I was stable. now that i am emotionally broken, i can't take all the drama from her.

    feel free to vent whenever you want. my response turned into a vent! :) Hopefully it helps some to see you are not alone and you are not the only one feeling the way you do.

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