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nyc7781 · March 2012

I'm just curious for those of us ttc #1... If you plan to return to work, what are your plans for child care? Have you decided yet?

I think about this a lot. There is a possibility DH can work weekends and be a SAHD during the week. We don't have family able to help us on a regular basis. If DH is not able to work weekends exclusively, then we will have to find a babysitter or daycare. We just cringe at the thought of leaving future LO with a "stranger".

I cannot be a stay at home mom due to the nature of my job and income level. So, what are your plans/thoughts?

NeverKnew · March 2012

I'm not TTC #1, so I guess you can disregard this if you want. I just wanted to say: no one *likes* the idea of leaving their LO at first, whether it's nanny, babysitter, family or daycare. Once you ultimately decide whether or not you have to find a care provider and find yourself needing one, keep in mind that ALL you have right now are preconceptions and prejudices that are half-formed. It doesn't even matter if you've *worked* at a daycare before - until it's your child in question, you have no idea what it's going to be like.

At first, leaving DS felt like I was leaving my soul on the doorstep every morning, but now? I wouldn't have it any other way. It's incredible the opportunities that daycare has provided us. DS knows Spanish words, has buddies, knows his colors, counts to ten, says his ABC's... and he just turned two. I promise, it's not all as bad as it feels right now.

JumpAroundBucky · March 2012

I work from home as it is, so I'll be doing that. DH only works three nights per week (12 hr shifts), so I'll be able to plan client meetings around when he isn't working. We might have a nanny come in a couple of times a week just to help with tidying things up and then I can go to meetings if I need to. Or sleep. I like sleep.We'll see how we feel.

nyc7781 · March 2012

NeverKnew:
I'm not TTC #1, so I guess you can disregard this if you want. I just wanted to say: no one *likes* the idea of leaving their LO at first, whether it's nanny, babysitter, family or daycare. Once you ultimately decide whether or not you have to find a care provider and find yourself needing one, keep in mind that ALL you have right now are preconceptions and prejudices that are half-formed. It doesn't even matter if you've *worked* at a daycare before - until it's your child in question, you have no idea what it's going to be like.
At first, leaving DS felt like I was leaving my soul on the doorstep every morning, but now? I wouldn't have it any other way. It's incredible the opportunities that daycare has provided us. DS knows Spanish words, has buddies, knows his colors, counts to ten, says his ABC's... and he just turned two. I promise, it's not all as bad as it feels right now.

Thank you, I think you are right. Having absolutely zero experience with the situation it seems overwhelming and foreign.

Shayliz · March 2012

I work from home, so I'm hoping my husband and I will be able to work out our schedules where I work at night when he's home and he works during the day. Otherwise, We'll probably do a few days of daycare.

Svenny1011 · March 2012

DH works from home, and we've talked about him being a SAHD for most of the week. I think we'll still need someone to help out so he can actually work, but not full time. And I'd actually prefer a nanny share than a nanny for just our child alone. Daycare isn't the worst thing, but I do see how sick my coworkers get from their kids and it terrifies me!

We live in a small area, and I actually contacted the local daycare places (most are in-home set ups) to see what availability was like. She said I was smart since there are few options.

atcwag · March 2012

Ugh - this is one of my biggest headaches already and it is definitely cart before the horse for me. We're not even really TTC yet, just not "not" trying. I'm an Athletic Trainer, so I work a modified 2nd shift for the most part and also Saturday mornings. DH is a store manager and works 4-5 days/week 8-7. SOOO...this makes it difficult. During the school year, M/T/R I go to work @ 1:00 and am usually home sometime between 7 and 10. W/F I go to work around 3 and am home between 7 and 10. Sat I work 8-1, sometimes later if there is a sporting event in the afternoon. I can make my own 30-40 hr/week schedule in the summer. We may have to look into DH having his "off" days on my long days, and then on the other days we would only really need a sitter for 1/2 days. This may be something that family could do, but again, really haven't figured all this out yet. I think we will look into a private sitter that can be flexible with our schedules. I know a lot of day cares around here are "pay for full day regardless of how long child is there" type things, and also are not flexible with possibly needing care on different days depending on my work schedule.

angelsnight · March 2012

I have a few options in mind:

#1 (and best option) If I get the work-from-home job I am praying for (which I need to stop being lazy and actually apply for) I'll mostly be a WAHM. However in order to get some solid work done and so grandparents can spend more time with them, I would see if my inlaws could take LO one day a week and my dad could take them one day a week. That way I could work for two solid days a week plus weekends and then during naps and when MH is home the other days.

#2 (decent option if working outside home) If I have to work outside the home I would like to only work part time (this wouldn't be possible from my current job). Then I would hope between my dad and inlaws they could watch LO when I'm working. My dad is contemplating retiring this year and is dying for a grandchild so I'm sure he would gladly take him/her.

#3 (worst option) Keep the job I have and work full time outside the home, and really pray my dad and/or inlaws can handle sharing LO for the entire 40 hour week. I really hope it doesn't come to this though because my mom didn't work when I was a kid and I loved being home with her. I really don't want to be away from LO that much if I can help it at all.

cupcake201 · March 2012

I will stay home once we have our first child. I will probably stay home until we are done having our children (maybe 3) and they are all in school. Then I will go back to work. We don't rely on my income, but if I'd like to I would work a couple days a week before then.

missusmeeseeks · March 2012

I work 3rd shift and DH works 1st, so we won't need daycare unless I am going crazy and need some uninterrupted sleep time. In that case, my inlaws are very close and DH's boss's wife is a SAHM who babysits.

happilyeverafterxo · March 2012

I really want to be a SAHM, and DH would love for me to be able to do that, but it just isn't possible.

Having said that, we have a lot of family that will be able to help out. DH's parents are on the verge of retirement, and he's often said that they are pretty much just waiting for us to have a baby so that they can babysit every day!

I am lucky enough to still have my grandparents, and they are willing to babysit as well. My parents aren't retired yet, but they would help out in a heartbeat as well.

We're very fortunate.

I have negative connotations with Daycare, because I worked in one that I would never send my child to. I read what one of the PPs wrote about Daycare and how you can't judge even if you've worked in one...well...I have, and I wouldn't send my child to the one where I worked. I left there because I couldn't take it anymore (this was in college before I graduated and got my teaching job!)

However, I realize that there are AWESOME Daycares out there, and I would be more than willing to send my child to one of them!

velvetskyy · March 2012

We've had to think about this seriously to make sure we can afford it. We dont have family living close by so that makes it more difficult. We will have to adjust our work schedules where I will go in early and DH will drop LO off and I will come home early and pick LO up. Only issue is our jobs require odd hours and some weekend work that will lead to additional juggling on occasion. So, yup, we have. And I have heard to get on lists as early as you are in your 2nd tri.... The spots fill up quick apparently.

Alaska_Bride · March 2012

I teach private music lessons, so luckily I can set my own hours. We can cover our monthly expenses primarily with my husband's stipend (he's a PhD student). He's usually home by mid afternoon, so that would allow me to work a couple evenings a week.

JaimeLD6 · March 2012

DH and I are kind of on opposite schedules.

I work 8-5 and he works 4-12 (midnight)

So ideally He could have the baby at home til he has to work and we'd only need a sitter from the hours of 3 til about 5:30-6pm.
I'm sure my MIL wil be on board or I have a friend or two who are SAHMs and can help me baby sit. MIL could be "free" but friends may charge ... so we shall see!

I mean ideally we're only asking someone to watch a baby for 3 hours a day and only the days we both work... as of now DH has off Friday and Saturday so it's only for the other days.

MrsN08 · March 2012

I would absolutely love to be a SAHM, but there is just no way it will be financially possible. This means one of two things for us. More than likely, my MIL will want to watch any future LO's. If not, we will have to use a day care. There are several good ones in the area, and we immediately got put on the waiting list for our top choice as soon as we started TTC. We've been on it since mid-December and have still not made it to the top, so I am glad we did this. We knew ahead of time that there was a ridiculously long waiting list.

tealowl · March 2012

I would do interviews with both in home daycare and centers around where you live (or nannies) while you are pregnant. Sometimes there are waiting lists.

My daughter is 10 and she was watched by people in home and then when she was older she went to a center/pre-school. The only cons I have about in home is that she ended up being in 5 because one provider moved away, one stopped doing daycare, one lady wanted to go back to work, etc. I wanted her to be with one provider before pre-school, but there was nothing I could do about it.

You have to realize that children WILL get sick, and you can't stop that, whether they stay at home with you or go to daycare. It's great socialization for them also.

I'm hoping that I don't have to do daycare this time just because of the cost. Our parents are all retired, and I have a handful of friends that are SAHM's that babysit also that I can use. I want to work early hours in my office from 7-330 and have my husband go into work later and work weekends, so mabye we'll only need a sitter for a few hours in the afternoon during the week.

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