Daycare issues...Movies and Facebook
Hi,
I'm generally happy with our fairly large daycare center. DD likes it there and seems to be learning. She's now 26 months. Here are my issues:
1) They don't tell us they watch movies/videos but they clearly do. I dropped her off once late and the whole center (except infants) was watching Winnie the Pooh in the gym. Today she said, "I watch Nemo. Nemo is a fish." Last week, she said "I watch Thomas." I had asked her teacher in her old room to not have her watch TV/videos and she said OK. She said they had other parents who wanted to avoid the videos and would have a teacher hang out with her in the classroom. My issue: TV watching is not in the schedule or daily report, so I don't know how often it occurs and didn't realizing it was happening for a while. Also, we tried to watch Nemo and other movies with DD and she watches 15 minutes and there is always something she says is scary and asks for it to be turned off. So I don't think they're a great choice for her. I don't want to be THAT mom, should I say something? I'm leaning towards talking to her current teacher and ask that alternative activities be found.
2) Daycare is starting a Facebook group. If you 'like' it, you can have access to pictures, newsletters, videos, etc. I worry about DD's photos/first name being published on the web with relatively open access. I shared my concerns with the center director who said they 'could' go through the list of people with access in the Facebook group, but not that they 'would' go through the list at any particular interval. Would this worry you?
I know I'm a tough customer, but I don't want to be a troublemaker or have DD singled out. I know I've mentioned other things in the 2 years she's been there and I'm trying to bite my tongue more often.
Would these 2 things bother you?
Thanks!
Re: Daycare issues...Movies and Facebook
Yes. These things would both bother me.
For what it's worth, I've worked in child care centers in the past and I'm an elementary teacher now. I know the feeling of not wanting to be "that parent", but the two issues you mentioned are things that I would speak with the director about.
Yes they would. You're paying them for quality care. You can hire a nanny to turn on the TV at home for the same price. I don't think you should bite your tongue.
I personally would start interviewing other daycares. And after I pulled her out I would write a long letter to the director and owner of the daycare as well as the state department.
Yes both of those would bother me.
I'd probably be ok with one movie a week, but not more than that.
I would be fine with a private facebook page that was limited only to parents of current students. But not open to the public, no way.
They would both bother me.
I went to a professional development session today on internet safety. Even though it's not a bad thing, necessarily, they are creating a digital footprint for your child. They don't realize it. While I may post a pic of DD every now and then, I like to know that *I* am the one who controls what is out there about my family.
The TV watching would drive me up a wall. I don't ever see a valid reason for watching TV at daycare. My kids preschool has a "parents night out" but that is once a month, (on a Saturday or Sunday night) and you bring your kids to watch a movie so you can go out for a few hours. Do other daycares watch TV at all? It would also bother me that they don't tell you up front what's going on.
The facebook thing I'm not as concerned about, but I'm kind of lax in that area, I let our au pair post pics (on his page) that he takes of my kids and he tags me so I can see them. It's actually nice to see pictures of them doing art, going to the park etc. and it feels good that he raves about the kids to his friends
I'm not anti tv by any means and my in home provider has put on a movie a couple times when she or the kids haven't been a little under the weather with a cold and I'm fine with that. She tells me that's what she did and I know and understand the reasoning. I wouldn't want it to be a constant thing but moreoever, I wouldn't want it being something I didn't know was going on. It sounds to me like they don't think parents would be ok with it, otherwise it would go on the daily sheet, kwim?
I'm not really a freak about my kid's name/face being on the internet (clearly I have his picture here and I use his name on here too). But I can see where that would bother some people.
Our infant/toddler room RARELY showes movies and they are short Veggie tales ones (church run daycare). The 3 and 4 year old rooms get them more often. Usually when it's a holiday or an 'eh' kind of day. They tend to do Disney movies. I'm okay with it as long as it's not EVERY week.
I'd be speaking to the director about the movie thing and see if you can get a handle on how often and why they are watching movies rather than other activities.
Pictures...we have to sign a release to have pics used on the web/classroom. Just ask them to do the same as a policy for daycare. I'd still 'like' the page and monitor the photos.
Yes, they would both bother me. The video thing, because they're not listing it on their schedule, so who knows how often it's happening. And because you asked them to not include your DD, and she obviously still is.
The Facebook thing - I would bring up the privacy issue, and ask them that if they are going to start something like that, that it be a private group where it's a members-only access thing. That way it is limited to other parents only. I still don't know if I'd be comfortable with it completely, but a group is a much more private option for FB.
I would be bothered with the movie/TV issue...especially because they don't tell you...they know it is not acceptable.
Facebook I would not be too concerned, but I understand your point.
I know that my DC had a photo release form I had to sign with LO started. I had to check off "never allowed to take a photo of my child", "only for office purposes", or "can use photo of child for appropriate things ie webpage"
Watching TV or Movies would bother me at any age. The only time in school when we watched a Movie was when it was raining and we couldn't go out for gym. At 2 and 3 years of age they dont even have an attention span to sit for an hour long movie
Yes, these would both bother me. The movie/TV thing - I could be OK w/ this with older kids on a very occassional basis (once a month or if there were serious weather issues, etc.) or if DD was at an in-home daycare I would expect this, but in a large center w/ multiple staff members, that's not acceptable and honestly, just not worth all the money I pay them.
The pic thing is shady and you should be able to opt out of it.
Don't feel like you are being 'that person'. This is your child and you have a right to tell them what you think.
Our DC has a website where they post pictures of the kids from time to time, but it is password protected and you can opt out if you'd like.
Thanks everyone for the feedback.
DH spoke with her daycare teacher and they will have DD do other activities instead of TV/movie watching. The teacher said it was occasional but did not quantify. It does seem to be on days when it rains but I don't get this as they don't go out of the school for months at a time when the weather is cold. They run around in the gym instead...why would rainy days be different?
I'm not sure what to do about the Facebook thing since I already spoke to the director. But it's nice to know I'm not alone!
The bolded part is interesting to me, since our DCP (a center) takes the kids out to play as long as the temp is above freezing. Parents are asked to bring in snowpants and boots and the caregivers bundle up the kids and take them out. Does your DCP have a temp guideline they follow to determine whether or not they go outside?
I agree with PPs who also were bothered by the TV watching. I have nothing against small amounts of TV time on special days, but what you describe sounds more frequent. The facebook page/picture posting gets a "he$$ no" from me. I don't post pics of my kids online, and wouldn't be okay with DCP doing it either.
If I were in your shoes, I'd be looking for a new provider. If they seem a bit "shady" about little things (like TV), I would wonder what other things they do that I'm not aware of. Yep, I'm that parent and I'll own it.