2nd Hand Smoke Exposure

jillychris · March 2012

This may be a crazy question, but I am being extremely cautious about what I expose myself to, so here's my scenario:

DH and I will be traveling to his hometown for his grandmother's 85th bday celebration. MIL and FIL have been divorced for 15 years, but are still friendly. FIL is invited, lives out of town, but has a condo in DH's hometown. His plan is to come in for the weekend of the party so DH and I can stay with him.

My concern-FIL smokes, A LOT!!! He does go outside to smoke, but leaves the patio door open, and there is a residual smell of smoke on him and everything inside from his regular smoking. Should I be concerned about the exposure to the smoke for two days?

DH told him we were going to get a hotel, since I hadn't been feeling so well, so that I had some privacy (ie: not a toilet shared with my FIL to vomit in!!! Smile ) FIL then said he wasn't going to come, if we weren't staying with him, since that's why he was coming. I feel bad about taking away an opportunity for MH to see his father, since he normally only sees him a couple times a year. So, do I just deal with this smoke for two days? Is there any harm in this?

DebateThis · March 2012

I would get a hotel, too, for all the reasons you mentioned. I don't tolerate smoking or residual smells of it at all - it makes me start wheezing almost immediately - so it would be a no-go for me.

MrsNap_515 · March 2012

yea, i'm always in a tough position...my FIL and all my BIL's, including DH, smoke cigars when they are all together, and my FIL has a "smoking room" in his house, he has a big exhaust fan, but sometimes the smoke just goes through the house, especially on holidays when everyone's together, so last time we were all there, i actually put my foot down and made DH leave, it was disgusting, you could see the clouds of smoke in the rooms...gross! made me sick to my stomach, but it's my FIL's house, so i can't ask him to change, so i just leave when it gets bad.

byrne15 · March 2012

I would get a hotel too. I HATE 2nd hand smoke so much....pregnant or not. I am sure I am very offensive to people since I will cover my mouth and nose if I have to stand near a smoker, but I don't care.

vanessagorc · March 2012

I'd get the hotel based on the bathroom alone. I think fil, needs to suck it up and act like a grown up. It's not about him.

moosegal · March 2012

I would get the hotel, too. If FIL doesn't understand why that's important to you and isn't going to show up because of it, that's on him, not you.

Mrs.RockyM · March 2012

I don't think the exposure will be a big deal for two days, but pregnancy makes you super sensitive to smells and the odor of the smoke may really get to you.

Crispity · March 2012

I wouldn't want to stay there either. Even though being exposed to the smoke probably won't hurt anything, it will bother you, and you will worry about it. Being pregnant after IF is hard enough without adding more things to worry about!

Honestly, your FIL is being manipulative, and you shouldn't give in to him. It's not like you won't see him just because you're not staying there! I think your DH should tell him that he's really disappointed that you guys won't be able to see him, and he hopes he will change his mind. That should hopefully get the idea across that not seeing you guys is his choice, not yours.

mdiblasi10 · March 2012

byrne15:
I would get a hotel too. I HATE 2nd hand smoke so much....pregnant or not. I am sure I am very offensive to people since I will cover my mouth and nose if I have to stand near a smoker, but I don't care.

I am the same exact way. I can't stand it. My heightened sense of smell has made me even more sensitive to it. My best friend smokes, but not anywhere near me.

naybird · March 2012

I would get a hotel. The smell of smoke triggers my migraines and also makes me nauseous. But I especially would because of the m/s. Just have DH tell FIL that you are uncomfortable throwing up in front of anyone.

Good luck!

naybird · March 2012

byrne15:
I would get a hotel too. I HATE 2nd hand smoke so much....pregnant or not. I am sure I am very offensive to people since I will cover my mouth and nose if I have to stand near a smoker, but I don't care.

Haha I do the same thing!! DH thinks I'm acting like a silly child, but I don't care!!!

krismott25 · March 2012

i would have my husband talk to his dad about his smoking. my mil is a smoker and i refuse to go stay in her house regardless if she walks down the street to smoke. my dad is the same way. if he closes the patio door it may not be a big deal. i mean your not going to be hugging him the whole time where you would be super close. but if your husband does say something make sure its from his point of view not wife says she doesn't want to be around smoke. that could cause some conflict. ick i hate IL interactions like this so akward

jillychris · March 2012

Thanks all!! DH called FIL and just explained that since I had been so sick, we were staying in a hotel so I could have some privacy. He was fine with it!

naybird · March 2012

jillychris:
Thanks all!! DH called FIL and just explained that since I had been so sick, we were staying in a hotel so I could have some privacy. He was fine with it!

Glad it worked out for you!!!

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