Suggestions for keeping mum with those who know about our IF?

RRL2012 · March 2012

There are a handful of friends who know about our IF issues and we're holding off on telling anyone we've conceived (other than parents) until 12 weeks. Do you have any suggestions as to how to respond when they inevitably ask how we're doing? Since we've been open about TTC and IF with our closest friends, it's going to be really obvious unless I give a very careful and prepared answer.

moosegal · March 2012

Hmm...could you say something like, "No news to share yet, but we can't wait until we do have good news to share with you!" You're not saying you're not pregnant, but it could maybe buy you a little time until you're ready to share?

ccam · March 2012

The people who knew about our IF knew we were going through IVF at the time, so it was kind of hard to keep it quiet. They knew exactly when we should be finding out if it worked or not. But if anyone asks you, I would just say "hopefully we have good news soon" and kind of drop it. At that point, hopefully they drop it too.

RRL2012 · March 2012

That is perfect, thank you! Sounds so simple, but I'm a terrible liar, so I'm glad to have this prepared response!

lovebug33 · March 2012

I told way too many people what was going on and found that I couldn't keep lying. I eventually told people around 8 weeks that knew I was doing the FET because I got tired of trying to keep it a secret!

DebateThis · March 2012

Most of my friends and family members know about IF treatments but we aren't quite ready to share the pregnancy with the whole world yet.

SIL actually asked last night how operation baby was going and I just told her "No news yet! Lots of bloodwork and ultrasounds - hope they lead to something! "

What she doesn't need to know yet is the bloodwork and ultrasounds are betas for pregnancy - not more tests and IF tx at the RE. Stick out tongue

kelnyc · March 2012

We told them. It was something we forgot to consider, but it was only a few of our closest friends and family anyway. My mom spilled the beans to a whole slew of people though (bless her heart, she wqs just really excited), but luckily, it turned out ok.

ELF4321 · March 2012

If they don't know specifically about your last cycle, you could just say something vague like "we're taking a break right now to evaluate our options". If they press for more info, just say "I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk about it right now"

lunatwo · March 2012

We ended up telling most of them because it was getting too hard to avoid the questions. However, for the few people I just didn't want to tell I just said things like "In progress" or "Still working on it"

KDR1979 · March 2012

We finally got super good at lying & I'm so glad we did because it was soooo fun to invite our friends & families Over for a "Halloween" get together & surprise everyone with the good news!We would say things like, "we're not sure when to go back for another cycle." "we keep it privateWhen we cycle because it's so hard to have people ask when we have a failed cycle. " "maybe I should lose weight before we cycle again""it's hard to figure out when to go back again because of my work schedule."

DeputiesWife · March 2012

we were very open about our IF up until my c/p and then when we decided to cycle again we didnt tell anyone we were doing ivf again so when they'd ask i just say we will share the good news when we had some.

it was also easier for me becasue my family lives so far away and I didnt have to see them. so it was a little easier to dodge.

good luck.

danielle_0330 · March 2012

After the loss of my twins last year I told evreyone that we were going to try again and that we were not saying anything until we reached 12 weeks because we shared way to early the first time around. They will ask how things are going and I tell them that I am going to monitoring appointments and we haven't decided when we will actually do the frozen embryo transfer yet. So far this has worked. A few people at work know only because I had to take the time off for the ET and the nurse is giving my PIO injections. And they are just as excited as we are. I did not tell the 3 people at work until after I got my second beta. I am going to get a onsie for my in-laws and best friend when we are ready to let everyone know.

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