When does this get easier?

turkeybabyontheway · March 2012

My husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first last Friday. 1 week ago today. We were so happy, thrilled, surprised! We had decided not to tell anybody until after our first doc appt, which was supposed to be today. On Tuesday night, at exactly 5 weeks, I noticed a little brown when I wiped. Everything I read reassured me, but I still called the doc first thing Wed. morning. They reassured me more, but I had a sinking feeling something was wrong. My boobs, which were hurting me even when I walked down the hall, were hardly even tender throughout the day. By the time I got home Wed. night, the brown had turned to pink, and finally red. I knew what was happening. Then, I had to spend Thursday morning getting a vaginal u/s and full exam, knowing good and well there was nothing that could be done. Luckily, my husband has been just perfect, but it's just so hard. We knew this could be a possibility, but never thought it would be this hard. My boss just told everybody I was "sick" and I'm so not looking forward to Monday. I don't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, do anything. This is truly awful.

heather4hawks · March 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is incredibly difficult to go through this. Unfortunately I don't have an answer as to when it gets better. It is a little easier each day but some days are still very difficult for me almost 3 weeks later. Allow yourself to grieve. My boss also told everyone I was sick and going back to work was hard. I kept to myself a lot which made things a little better.

katharine25 · March 2012

The pain never goes away, but little by little it does get more manegable. You'll have good days, and not so good days. The only thing you can do is take each day at a time. ((((Hugs))))

acruz8179 · March 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story is so similar to my own. It has been a month since my MC and all I can say is there are good days and bad and eventually the good will start to out weight the bad. Just take it one day at a time and know that we are all here for you ((hugs))!

elplocho · March 2012

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this. If it helps when I've suffered losses (my sister passed unexpectedly in November, and then I had my m/c a month ago), I tell myself today(the first day) is the worst day, and that every day it will get better, maybe not a lot, but better. It's helped me a lot. I also let myself be sad and grieve, but I try to look for things in the future that are good. I hope it helps you too.

Mash67 · March 2012

Ive now today actually had a D&C for my third MC. This time around was slightly eaiser for me, due to the fact that I was trying not to get excited abought this pregnancy, and that helped, but I know the next time I get that positive, I will be a mess for a while! Its so beyond Frustrating, and I get waves of sadness and I get Angry or mad at others who I dont feel deserve a baby.

This week at work for me was rough the big time bleeding started 2 days before my scheduled D&C so I called out of work yesterday, but my co workers are such jerks, I know they are talking crap about me taking off work for 6 days including my two off days when we are so short staffed. That part is the hardest, I dont want to go back to work on wed and look at them, they have no I deat what Im going through and I just hurts that people can be so mean. I hope your co workers arent the same type of people that I directly work with. I hope your pain wasnt too great, and that you start to heal. but like the other ladies said, take it day by day and dont be suprisex if you get waves of random tears... you lost some one, and nit just some one your baby! its a big deal! in my opinion!!!

April! · March 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It has been 5 weeks since I found out my baby wasn't developing, and 2 weeks since I miscarried. It is just in the last few days that I have stopped crying myself to sleep and tearing up whenever I think about the baby. I spent the first week after I found out holed up at home not talking to anyone. I totally understand what you mean! It helped me to tell people what happened. I have only told a few people, which was really hard but did help me feel better. It felt so awful to go around pretending everything was normal, that it helped to have some people who understood and gave me the space to not act normal.

MWoodside · March 2012

I'm sorry for your loss.

I would say for me I was a wreck the first 2 weeks, 3rd week was a bit better but I was still overcome, then after that something clicked & I have felt emotionally stronger a little each day & like I was starting to feel like me again.

CCline09 · March 2012

I am so sorry for your loss. I started miscarrying about two weeks ago and I have been a mess and some point every day. Not all day- but just different times during the day. I'm not much advice when it'll get better since I am early on in this process but I just would say to allow yourself to grieve and cry it all out.

unhdncr21 · March 2012

I am so sorry for your lost. I want to say it gets easier but it doesn't, some days you will begin to feel normal and then other days will feel like a ton of bricks have fallen on your chest. We had our D&C on Monday, so almost a week now. The best thing to do is make yourself happy, do things that you couldn't do when pregnant Don't go on facebook if all your friends are having babies (that's what I did)... something that I did find help a lot was coming on this website and talking to other people who are going through the same thing. It's crazy, everything I read and hear is that having a miscarriage happens a lot nowadays but no one talks about it and you feel so alone. However this website you are able to talk to people who feel what you're feeling and been through what you have been through. To me at least, it helps a lot.

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