Could you financially support your kids?

littlemomma10 · March 2012

Can I change my answer? In the hypothetical scenario where my DH takes all of our savings and leaves, I plan to hunt him down and feed him poisoned mushrooms. At that point I'll be able to maintain my current lifestyle without having to get a job. And yes, my husband is well aware of this plan. =P

The_Jen626 · March 2012

I could support us because I could get a job easily, BUT it wouldn't be anywhere near our current lifestyle. I also have a very small nest egg in my name only (usually about $2k) so I could pay rent or buy groceries or whatever if I needed to, before I could get some cash from my parents to help with immediate needs.

And for those of you thinking "this would never happen"...there's a poster on the working mom's board who's 4 year old daughter said that her father was sexually abusing her. She took the daughter to the hospital, and within 2 days her husband had cleaned out all of their bank accounts and fled to Jamaica (or the Bahamas or something). So, this definetly DOES happen.

goldenleaves · March 2012

Yep!

ta78 · March 2012

Probably not.

ENI36 · March 2012

seans_grl:
Andrewsgal:
babypuplove:
Andrewsgal:

My answer to the OP. we would be okay but there would be a drastic lifestyle change. I would have to sell the house there is no way I could keep up with the taxes and utilities long term. I would probably go back to teaching as the hours are more better for me as a single mom. I would also move closer to family for the support.

O

'More better'? Yikes.

my bad I was typing at stoplights and obviously did not go back and read what I wrote is there a reason you are on my ass this morning? This is not a good look for you.

I was really hoping that this was a joke, but something tells me it isn't.

Umm scary. And she probably has her kids with her too. Now that's a bump addiction.

MrsBalletStar05 · March 2012

I'm sure I could. It would suck, but I know I could do it.

gatogrrl · March 2012

Yes, I could. I would have to sell the house, and drain some accounts for about a year, but we could keep a roof over our head while I trained up in my former field. After that, I could definitely support them on my income, although it wouldn't be the same level of income as DH makes, at least not for a while.

kcisthebombdotcom · March 2012

Andrewsgal:
LynsiBHM:

I would- because I'd have to. I have a lot of the resources already mentioned- accounts/ cards in my own name, supportive family, a decent resume (although i'd work anywhere if I had to for my family.) But i'm confused by the question. In what situation would you be left with nothing? I suppose it would take the duration of a court case, but I think it's safe to say we'd all get at least half of anything he's worth. And since he's supporting the family now, and he's not dying in this scenario, he's still worth something...

Kind of a dramatic hypothetical, don't you think?

Actually not as dramatic or hypothetical as you would like to believe. There are two woman who I know whose hubands were caught up in something illegal, and one actually cleaned out their accounts to run abroad. Both of them fully trustees their spouses and never imagined their lives would turn out this way.

I have never in my life met anyone whose spouse ran away like this. I can't imagine my DH, who refuses to sleep train our 14 month old because he runs to her bedroom everytime she makes the slightest peep during the night leaving and never seeing his kids again.

While I agree it's not the craziest hypothetical situation out there I would say the vast majority of divorces don't go down in this matter. Still an interesting topic of conversation nonetheless, but definitely far fetched.

LynsiBHM · March 2012

KC_13:
Andrewsgal:
LynsiBHM:

I would- because I'd have to. I have a lot of the resources already mentioned- accounts/ cards in my own name, supportive family, a decent resume (although i'd work anywhere if I had to for my family.) But i'm confused by the question. In what situation would you be left with nothing? I suppose it would take the duration of a court case, but I think it's safe to say we'd all get at least half of anything he's worth. And since he's supporting the family now, and he's not dying in this scenario, he's still worth something...

Kind of a dramatic hypothetical, don't you think?

Actually not as dramatic or hypothetical as you would like to believe. There are two woman who I know whose hubands were caught up in something illegal, and one actually cleaned out their accounts to run abroad. Both of them fully trustees their spouses and never imagined their lives would turn out this way.

I have never in my life met anyone whose spouse ran away like this. I can't imagine my DH, who refuses to sleep train our 14 month old because he runs to her bedroom everytime she makes the slightest peep during the night leaving and never seeing his kids again.

While I agree it's not the craziest hypothetical situation out there I would say the vast majority of divorces don't go down in this matter. Still an interesting topic of conversation nonetheless, but definitely far fetched.

I'm sure there are also women who find out they are married to a serial killer. Anything is possible. Am I planning for this? No. If some whackadoo situation were to happen, I would do whatever I needed to do to support my child(ren.) Wouldn't we all? The majority of us do not have a hidden stash of funds that would support our current lifestyle, no. But you do what you need to do to stay afloat in a sh!tty situation.

Like hooking Stick out tongue

I'm not complaining about the post. It is an interesting thought. I just do think it's far-fetched. And if it's common in your circle of friends, you need new friends.

Andrewsgal · March 2012

LynsiBHM:
KC_13:
Andrewsgal:
LynsiBHM:

I would- because I'd have to. I have a lot of the resources already mentioned- accounts/ cards in my own name, supportive family, a decent resume (although i'd work anywhere if I had to for my family.) But i'm confused by the question. In what situation would you be left with nothing? I suppose it would take the duration of a court case, but I think it's safe to say we'd all get at least half of anything he's worth. And since he's supporting the family now, and he's not dying in this scenario, he's still worth something...

Kind of a dramatic hypothetical, don't you think?

Actually not as dramatic or hypothetical as you would like to believe. There are two woman who I know whose hubands were caught up in something illegal, and one actually cleaned out their accounts to run abroad. Both of them fully trustees their spouses and never imagined their lives would turn out this way.

I have never in my life met anyone whose spouse ran away like this. I can't imagine my DH, who refuses to sleep train our 14 month old because he runs to her bedroom everytime she makes the slightest peep during the night leaving and never seeing his kids again.

While I agree it's not the craziest hypothetical situation out there I would say the vast majority of divorces don't go down in this matter. Still an interesting topic of conversation nonetheless, but definitely far fetched.

I'm sure there are also women who find out they are married to a serial killer. Anything is possible. Am I planning for this? No. If some whackadoo situation were to happen, I would do whatever I needed to do to support my child(ren.) Wouldn't we all? The majority of us do not have a hidden stash of funds that would support our current lifestyle, no. But you do what you need to do to stay afloat in a sh!tty situation.

Like hooking

I'm not complaining about the post. It is an interesting thought. I just do think it's far-fetched. And if it's common in your circle of friends, you need new friends.

Okay you know what, I can take the bashing. God knows I have been snarky here as well, but how dare you bash these woman you don't know. I actually "met" them both on the bump and we are now belong to a facebook group together. They are two of the strongest and most amazing woman I have ever met. I would not calls us friends as much as aquaintences but I would be very lucky to call them a friend. You don't know their stories and I am sure if you did you would be shocked and in awe of their strentgh. So like I said bash me all you want but keep it away from them. And yes one of them has already been talked about in this post, and she was the one who origionally posted this question in our other forum. I thought it would be an interesting topic for the SAHM board should have known it would bring drama as everything seems to lately.

mandymack · March 2012

scatteredtrees:
To be completely honest, I couldn't maintain this lifestyle- and I'd probably have to move in with my parents until I got back on my feet. I'm educated and have a lot of connections in my field, so I am pretty confident I could find a job, but I'm also not above going back to Starbucks and scraping together enough cash to get an apartment or something.

Pretty much the same for me.

If my husband cleaned out our accounts and just disappeared one day, my only choice would be to pack up the kids and our stuff and move back to TX to live with either my sister or my mom until I could get a job and secure an apartment.

I could NEVER afford to support our current lifestyle myself (even if I re-sat for the CPA exam/was licensed and made a 6-figure salary, which would take years to move up into a CFO position) here in CA but I absolutely could relocate to TX and we would be perfectly fine, even if I was working at Starbuck's.

mulrooney · March 2012

Honestly, I'm not sure I could, or if I could it wouldn't be for a long time. My parents would definitely help and I would do everything I could to support my family, but I have a Masters in psychology with a license that has lapsed so it would take a while to get back in. My previous job was not very high paying but we live in a HCOL area pretty much everything would have to change. I have some stuff in just my name but most of it is joint.

I completely trust my husband, but I do think I should be more set up to be independent, because nothing is ever guaranteed. I know I want my daughters to be more independent than I am.

I am actually surprised at how many said they would be ok pretty quickly and/or easily. Maybe it is just another example of the perfection of the Bump...

Rebekah1021 · March 2012

Andrewsgal:
LynsiBHM:
KC_13:
Andrewsgal:
LynsiBHM:

I would- because I'd have to. I have a lot of the resources already mentioned- accounts/ cards in my own name, supportive family, a decent resume (although i'd work anywhere if I had to for my family.) But i'm confused by the question. In what situation would you be left with nothing? I suppose it would take the duration of a court case, but I think it's safe to say we'd all get at least half of anything he's worth. And since he's supporting the family now, and he's not dying in this scenario, he's still worth something...

Kind of a dramatic hypothetical, don't you think?

Actually not as dramatic or hypothetical as you would like to believe. There are two woman who I know whose hubands were caught up in something illegal, and one actually cleaned out their accounts to run abroad. Both of them fully trustees their spouses and never imagined their lives would turn out this way.

I have never in my life met anyone whose spouse ran away like this. I can't imagine my DH, who refuses to sleep train our 14 month old because he runs to her bedroom everytime she makes the slightest peep during the night leaving and never seeing his kids again.

While I agree it's not the craziest hypothetical situation out there I would say the vast majority of divorces don't go down in this matter. Still an interesting topic of conversation nonetheless, but definitely far fetched.

I'm sure there are also women who find out they are married to a serial killer. Anything is possible. Am I planning for this? No. If some whackadoo situation were to happen, I would do whatever I needed to do to support my child(ren.) Wouldn't we all? The majority of us do not have a hidden stash of funds that would support our current lifestyle, no. But you do what you need to do to stay afloat in a sh!tty situation.

Like hooking

I'm not complaining about the post. It is an interesting thought. I just do think it's far-fetched. And if it's common in your circle of friends, you need new friends.
Okay you know what, I can take the bashing. God knows I have been snarky here as well, but how dare you bash these woman you don't know. I actually "met" them both on the bump and we are now belong to a facebook group together. They are two of the strongest and most amazing woman I have ever met. I would not calls us friends as much as aquaintences but I would be very lucky to call them a friend. You don't know their stories and I am sure if you did you would be shocked and in awe of their strentgh. So like I said bash me all you want but keep it away from them. And yes one of them has already been talked about in this post, and she was the one who origionally posted this question in our other forum. I thought it would be an interesting topic for the SAHM board should have known it would bring drama as everything seems to lately.

I can vouch for them as well! You never know what the future brings.

That said, I would have to move in with my family for a bit, but I could easily get a job and do what I needed to take care of DD.

bridein08 · March 2012

If I had access to our checking accounts, I could immediately and then could likely get a job again as a RN at the office that I worked before baby. (When I left my manager asked me to be sure I call whenever I'm in the market for a job again, and has actually called me on two occasions since I quit 2 months ago to offer me another position. I don't plan on ever returning to the workforce). I made the same as DH makes, so I would be able to sustain our current lifestyle (although, childcare would become a pricey thing until DS was school-age).

Basically, yes, I could financially support us if DH left but I wouldn't like it

FormerlyKrista555 · March 2012

Andrewsgal:
Saw this somewhere else and thought of here. Could you financially support your family if you had to? Not if your husband was to die but if he left you with no support at all?

yes, but not as well as he does. Thankfully we live debt-free, so that would help. I would probably move in with my folks :::::shudders:::::: until we got back on our feet.

JOEBunny · March 2012

Yes. I could support them for several years with just my savings, outside of anything DH and I have together. Hopefully, by then I would have a good job again, and be able to adjust our lifestyle to one I could manage without having to work so many hours.

LynsiBHM · March 2012

oh FFS, calm down!!!

I'm just getting back to this post and just wanted to clarify. I'm not bashing anyone or judging anyone. I'm saying that if you know lots of people that are in a situation where their hubby turns out to be some serial killer or abuser and clears out the bank accounts and flees, then you are in an abnormal circle of friends. I feel for any woman who that happens to. I can't even imagine what she must go through. And yes, it could happen to any one of us. I am not judging "her" (figurative "her.") I am saying it would be an issue (for you) if that situation happened to a lot of your friends. You should question things if this happens all around you. It shouldn't be a "normal" occurance. It's horrific. That's all I was saying.

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