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Overwhelmingly proud yet still a little sad

Army~WifeArmy~Wife member
in Breastfeeding

My goal was 1 year and I made it but, that's not all.  DD2 and I had some difficulties with BFing.  She was my little piranha. Due to a lot of pain as well as her drawing blood on multiple occasions, 99% of our BFing experience was with a nipple shield.  I tried many times to wean myself off of it but I just couldn't.  So, I BF'd and pumped.

I had a huge over supply, which I was/am totally fine with and thankful for. My stash consisted of around 4,000 oz at it's peak. I bought 2 deep freezers just for BM and as I started out growing my 2nd, I started donating. I have donated well over 1,000 oz. I donated to a couple ladies before I found one that I decieded to donate to exclusively.  I feel so amazing to know how much I helped that family.  She and I now have a bond that is very unique and will be cherished forever.

When DD2 turned 9 months she went through a nursing strike that we were never able to recover from.  While it was very sad for me to know that part of our journey was over, my nips were so very thankful.  She has suction power like none other and once those teeth started coming in, I nursed in fear.  I began to EP for her and have done so up until 2 monrings ago.  She is now working exclusively off my stash and I am no longer donating. So, even though I was able to provide plenty of BM for her 1st year, she will now continue to have it for another 4+ months and my work is already done.

While I don't miss my pump, I do miss that pride of being able to provide something so wonderful.  This is the 1st time I have had my body back to myself in 3 years.  I BF'd DD1 until she was 7 months, when I found out I was 2 months PG with DD2. While I know that I have done an amazing job for both my girls, in addition to a few other LO's, I am a little bummed that this stage is done with.  I had hopes of BFing DD2 extendedly but since that didn't work out, my boobs are wrapped and put away. 

If you got this far, thank you for your time.  Best of luck to you in your BF journey.  It is tough work but, it is gone before you know it and the benefits last forever.

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Re: Overwhelmingly proud yet still a little sad

  • shotzieshotzie member
    Wow, that's awesome you were able to bf your LO's and provide milk for other LO's too. Congrats on an amazing accomplishment!
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  • jb2rnjb2rn member
    very cool!
    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

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  • Anne MommyAnne Mommy member
    That's great!
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  • cottonlily84cottonlily84 member
    Congratulations for BFing both babes as long as you did!  I know BFing and being pregnant must have been very difficult.  You are right, you should be proud for providing for your LOs as well as for others.  Those moms and babies are very lucky for your help!
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  • inthewaterinthewater
    Congrats! I just got done too Big Smile Hooray for meeting your goals!
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  • ILoveRunningILoveRunning member
    Congratulations!  What an amazing story.
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  • Army~WifeArmy~Wife member
    Thank you all! I'm so grateful for all of the advice that I was able to get over the years from members of this board. BFing is one of the greatest experiences that I've ever had. It was very challenging at times but very rewarding. Lots of luck and patients to all of you during your BFing days.
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