Could you financially support your kids?

Andrewsgal · March 2012

Saw this somewhere else and thought of here. Could you financially support your family if you had to? Not if your husband was to die but if he left you with no support at all?

MainelyFoolish · March 2012

Immediately? For a little while. If DH ran off and drained our joint bank accounts, I'd have access to about five months worth of current expenses that are saved in my name only. After that I'd be limited to taking premature withdrawals from my retirement accounts.

Eventually, yes, I'd get a job and a cheaper place to live and somehow we'd make it. I wouldn't be able to easily work in my prior profession but I have a college degree and 10+ years of professional work experience, so I'm confident I could find something to break back into the workforce. I'd probably have to rely on aid from my family and/or the government to care for the kids while I get back to work and back on my feet.

celiabwatson · March 2012

NO... when I worked I made about the same amount as my husband does. We can't currently make ends meet and I'm looking for a part time job different hours than him so we can bring in some more money. We're also on WIC. If I had to support my kids on my own the biggest problem would be childcare for 2. Even if I found a cheaper in home place and got a discount for the 2nd child I'd be bringing home about $800 after childcare and before mortgage etc. I'd be moving home with my parents and either having one of them retire to take care of my kids or working part time when they're home.

danienross · March 2012

Probably not without going back to school. I never finished college so my job options would be limited. Plus I'm young and have only had one job. I'd definitely be relying on family to get back on my feet.

notkateanymore · March 2012

Yes, because I would go out and get a job that day. And I'm lucky enough to have a great family that would help me. But, no I don't have anything in my name and we don't use credit cards either. Good thing I know the man I married and know it would never happen.

JoannaJes · March 2012

Hmmm, I am not sure. I have a master's degree, but that doesn't net you much in the field of social work. If it happened right now, I'm not sure I could pay for two in daycare and still manage to cover necessary expenses.

Of course, DH would be totally screwed if I just up and left. He wouldn't be able to keep his job that requires a ton of travel. So it's probably best that we stay together. : )

alli2672 · March 2012

Yes. I have a PT job right now, and I could almost certainly pick up more work.

We would have to move though. DH makes 3x what I do. The mortgage, house, and student loans are all in DH's name. I am not sure I would be totally off the hook for those, but if I was, then there would be no problem.

ktsnshn · March 2012

I have a bank account in my name only, a very supportive family and would get myself working ASAP if I needed to. So yes, I could support us if I needed to.

babypuplove · March 2012

I have a master's degree, a supportive family, and my name on all of our accounts, and we have substantial savings. Not to mention a husband I love and trust. There's no way DH could just up and leave us and take everything as far as I know.

AG, I'm guessing your answer is "yes of course, only an idiot wouldn't have a few million set aside in their name only that they saved up before SAH"?

And we're closing on our house today after much drama with the buyers, so I probably won't be back to engage in your pot stirring. TGIF!

Temp174496125006552 · March 2012

Yes. I was a single parent for 11.5 years before I met DH and had my own house, paid all of my own bills, etc. I've done it once, I know that I could do it again. Granted, I would have 3 kids this time (not 1). I also wouldn't be able to afford our current mortgage and all of the utilities, food and other expenses on my own, so we would definitely have to sell the house (the title/mortgage is in both of our names) and downgrade to something smaller/less expensive. But I would get a job and my family is amazing/very supportive, and I know they'd be behind me 100%. So, we'd be ok.

I also have some money that's just in my name. I would never, ever have all of the cash and accounts in just his name. Not because I don't trust him (because I do 1000%), but because I am fiercely independent and while I am extremely confident that my H would never walk away from his family, it's just smart to have money/accounts that are only in your name.

Sharon21 · March 2012

Sure I could, but I'd probably have to start hookin'...

Geek_Girl · March 2012

KateMW:
Yes, because I would go out and get a job that day. And I'm lucky enough to have a great family that would help me.

Yep, this. I wouldn't be able to afford our current home, nor would I want to if it were just DS and I.

I'd do whatever I needed to in order to support DS and I.

goillini823 · March 2012

I'd go out and get a job ASAP. I'd probably have to move in with family for a bit, but I'm confident in my abilities to make it out fine. Thankfully my parents are retired, and would be willing to watch the kids while I work in a heartbeat.

Andrewsgal · March 2012

babypuplove:
I have a master's degree, a supportive family, and my name on all of our accounts, and we have substantial savings. Not to mention a husband I love and trust. There's no way DH could just up and leave us and take everything as far as I know.
AG, I'm guessing your answer is "yes of course, only an idiot wouldn't have a few million set aside in their name only that they saved up before SAH"?
And we're closing on our house today after much drama with the buyers, so I probably won't be back to engage in your pot stirring. TGIF!

And the point of you being a total *** wAs? I saw this on another board and thought it would be a good topic for this board. Not understanding your bitterness oh yes the inheritance post. Congrats on your house.

MrsC17 · March 2012

We'd be okay- I'd definitely have to downgrade but I know I have the ability to make good money on my own and I'd have free childcare - so that's not something I stress about. I'd likely sell our house - but even if we didn't get our own place right away my mom has a 3 br house and it's just her there- so I have a place to go as well (I'd try to keep that as temporary as possible for my own sanity but I know my mother would be in 7th Heaven if I moved in with her LOL).

Andrewsgal · March 2012

My answer to the OP. we would be okay but there would be a drastic lifestyle change. I would have to sell the house there is no way I could keep up with the taxes and utilities long term. I would probably go back to teaching as the hours are more better for me as a single mom. I would also move closer to family for the support.

O

babypuplove · March 2012

I should clarify that this would be a potentially interesting topic for discussion if it had been posed by almost anyone else. Someone I picture as an extra large, extra loud cartoon character Internet bully, not so much. And I'm actually not bitter in the slightest. I have a feeling DH and I have very similar assets as you, I just don't look for any reason at all to post about it. It's trashy and obnoxious.

babypuplove · March 2012

Andrewsgal:
My answer to the OP. we would be okay but there would be a drastic lifestyle change. I would have to sell the house there is no way I could keep up with the taxes and utilities long term. I would probably go back to teaching as the hours are more better for me as a single mom. I would also move closer to family for the support.
O

'More better'? Yikes.

Mom2Mack1 · March 2012

If DH left me right now I'd be set for a while. We just sold our old house a few weeks ago and the profit is in my account!

Realistically, I'd move closer to my family, maybe in with them for a short time until I got my finances & a FT job figured out. I'm sure they would help with childcare some.

Andrewsgal · March 2012

babypuplove:
Andrewsgal:
My answer to the OP. we would be okay but there would be a drastic lifestyle change. I would have to sell the house there is no way I could keep up with the taxes and utilities long term. I would probably go back to teaching as the hours are more better for me as a single mom. I would also move closer to family for the support.
O
'More better'? Yikes.

my bad I was typing at stoplights and obviously did not go back and read what I wrote is there a reason you are on my ass this morning? This is not a good look for you.

AgrippaRidesAgain · March 2012

No. I was formerly a teacher, so I wouldn't be able to get a job in that field right away. I'd work on getting a job somewhere else, but even fast food jobs are hard to come by. We have joint accounts but separate credit cards, so I could rack up a lot of debt...

I'd probably ask for help from my parents, or my ILs, who would disinherit DH if he ever did something stupid like that.

ETA: I'm not sure that I could sell the house, as it's in both of our names.

DevonPow · March 2012

Assuming he left nothing? No, not in our current lifestyle/where we live just based on my salary potential (I worked in non-profit). Yes, though in terms of family would most likely give us funds (but I don't think that is what the question is looking for...). We live in a very HCOL area and DS is involved in a lot of extracurriculars, etc. WE would not be able to stay in this house and would need a big lifestyle change. Would I be able to support my kids adequately, though? Definitely.

kcisthebombdotcom · March 2012

Yes.

I have enough money in an account in my name only that my parents started for me when I was a child to live off until I could get a full time job again. We bought a house in foreclosure and the mortgage is only 1300/month which I could afford once I got a job in my career field again.

If we divorced, likely we'd sell the house, split the profits, and then between my income/child support I could buy something comparable, but for the sake of the given scenario that DH up and left us with nothing (which would never happen but I'll pretend), we'd be fine eventually.

Geek_Girl · March 2012

Andrewsgal:
babypuplove:
Andrewsgal:
My answer to the OP. we would be okay but there would be a drastic lifestyle change. I would have to sell the house there is no way I could keep up with the taxes and utilities long term. I would probably go back to teaching as the hours are more better for me as a single mom. I would also move closer to family for the support.
O
'More better'? Yikes.
my bad I was typing at stoplights and obviously did not go back and read what I wrote is there a reason you are on my ass this morning? This is not a good look for you.

WTF are you typing when you're behind the wheel???? I don't give a rat's behind if you're at a stoplight or not. Pay effing attention to what is going on around you!!

alli2672 · March 2012

JoannaJes:

Of course, DH would be totally screwed if I just up and left. He wouldn't be able to keep his job that requires a ton of travel. So it's probably best that we stay together. : )

BTW, I totally agree with this. DH doesn't travel, but he often works late or through the night. He would have a hell of a time finding childcare that would meet his needs. Even live-in nannies want to have days off and be able to make plans.

littlemomma10 · March 2012

Like others have said, it would require a drastic lifestyle change, and I would most likely move close to family for their support. It wouldn't be easy, but I have no doubts I could take care of my family.

StatlerWaldorf · March 2012

Probably not. I've been searching for a job for a while with no luck. I might be able to if I relocated.

penguingrrl · March 2012

Immediately, probably not. The reason I became a SAHM originally was that I earned less than daycare (with a degree and halfway to a Masters in my field). I would have to restart in a new field and it would take some time before I could earn enough. In fact, once my husband finishes his PhD (3 months from now) his earning power will start higher than people top out in my former field (I worked in history museums).

Emiliana7 · March 2012

I could, but as others have stated not in the same lifestyle.

DD would have to stop her extracurriculars. And we would need to move and sell the house.

I'd try to get an office job (I have a BS degree), but would also consider dancing Wink to make more to get back to where we were.

I could call a former bf and he would help, but wouldn't want to take advantage of that- maybe if I was in dire straits and just needed some money for food and would insist that any money was a loan to be paid back.

lisamoe · March 2012

Sharon21:
Sure I could, but I'd probably have to start hookin'...

this made me laugh out loud!

MAprincess · March 2012

Yes, I could. Obviously I'd have to get a job, but I have the experience and ability to get one fairly quickly. My former company checks in with me occaionally and reminds me that they are happy to have me back wheever, so I could always go there if I needed to.

pinacolodas · March 2012

Yes. I work part time right now and have enough contacts in my industry to get a full time position right away. I was actually head hunted yesterday lol, so I know I would be fine.

My plan would be to start work right away but plan on opening my own business again asap if DH left me. I owned a gourmet food shop and still have enough clientale I could work from home catering if I had to.

I also have savings in my name only, DH wouldn't be able to drain my accounts. I am 100% sure that would never happen, but I feel good knowing I could take care of DD if it did. My BFF was a SAHM when her DH left. He was a compulsive liar and took everything (she didn't know what was what with the finances). It was hard but she went back to work and just bought a townhome for her and her boys! Now she is trying to severe his parental rights, which he is willing to do if she pays him off. From the outside they had a great relationship and he seemed like an okay dad. You just never know. Saying that I trust DH 100%!

BritClen · March 2012

uuummm....yes, but it would be really hard. I would more than likely have to move in with my parents till I finished school, which I'm working on now. But I use to work in the medical field and its pretty easy to get a job there but I honestly hated working in medical but would do it because I could at lest make enough to support us.

I could pay for our bills and even a house with a job but daycare would be hard to come up with.

roxy_jj · March 2012

Assuming that he left me with no funds, I could, but things would be very tight. I would probably need to move closer to my family and rely on them to help me until I got a full time job and back on my feet.

ToastieSimons · March 2012

It would take a while. Our closest family is 7 hours away, so I'd have to find a good paying job to be able to afford daycare. I do have my bachelor's in engineering so once I was able to find a job, I'm sure I could financially support them. Before I was laid off I made more money than DH does now and we're surviving (money is tight but we're okay) and we're currently in the process of downsizing our house/mortgage and everything else.

LynsiBHM · March 2012

I would- because I'd have to. I have a lot of the resources already mentioned- accounts/ cards in my own name, supportive family, a decent resume (although i'd work anywhere if I had to for my family.) But i'm confused by the question. In what situation would you be left with nothing? I suppose it would take the duration of a court case, but I think it's safe to say we'd all get at least half of anything he's worth. And since he's supporting the family now, and he's not dying in this scenario, he's still worth something...

Kind of a dramatic hypothetical, don't you think?

susanmosley · March 2012

Right off the bat, no. I would have to rely on my parents, and in the scenario that my predictable, trustworthy, caring, loving husband totally screwed me and his daughter, they would be more than willing to take on that responsibility. I am confident I could get a full time good paying job like tomorrow, literally. So pretty quickly, i would be able to get back on top of things. We currently live well below our means, so I dont see that our lifestyle would need to change with just my one income...savings and future planning would suffer and/or be put on hold...but I would be so pissed and confused, I assume my entire views on life would be altered in ways I can't imagine.

Andrewsgal · March 2012

LynsiBHM:
I would- because I'd have to. I have a lot of the resources already mentioned- accounts/ cards in my own name, supportive family, a decent resume (although i'd work anywhere if I had to for my family.) But i'm confused by the question. In what situation would you be left with nothing? I suppose it would take the duration of a court case, but I think it's safe to say we'd all get at least half of anything he's worth. And since he's supporting the family now, and he's not dying in this scenario, he's still worth something...

Kind of a dramatic hypothetical, don't you think?

Actually not as dramatic or hypothetical as you would like to believe. There are two woman who I know whose hubands were caught up in something illegal, and one actually cleaned out their accounts to run abroad. Both of them fully trustees their spouses and never imagined their lives would turn out this way.

janbrady · March 2012

If he died I would probably be financially better off. Sad/horrible to think about of course.

I would be able to find a job to support us. Although daycare/nanny on my probable salary in our HCOL area would be really hard. I would probably ask parents to help us through rough patches.

Temp174496125006552 · March 2012

Andrewsgal:
babypuplove:
Andrewsgal:

My answer to the OP. we would be okay but there would be a drastic lifestyle change. I would have to sell the house there is no way I could keep up with the taxes and utilities long term. I would probably go back to teaching as the hours are more better for me as a single mom. I would also move closer to family for the support.

O

'More better'? Yikes.

my bad I was typing at stoplights and obviously did not go back and read what I wrote is there a reason you are on my ass this morning? This is not a good look for you.

I was really hoping that this was a joke, but something tells me it isn't.

twh2006 · March 2012

seans_grl:

Yes. I was a single parent for 11.5 years before I met DH and had my own house, paid all of my own bills, etc. I've done it once, I know that I could do it again. Granted, I would have 3 kids this time (not 1). I also wouldn't be able to afford our current mortgage and all of the utilities, food and other expenses on my own, so we would definitely have to sell the house (the title/mortgage is in both of our names) and downgrade to something smaller/less expensive. But I would get a job and my family is amazing/very supportive, and I know they'd be behind me 100%. So, we'd be ok.

I also have some money that's just in my name. I would never, ever have all of the cash and accounts in just his name. Not because I don't trust him (because I do 1000%), but because I am fiercely independent and while I am extremely confident that my H would never walk away from his family, it's just smart to have money/accounts that are only in your name.

This exactly. I learned the last time it's best to just watch out for yourself and that it's not a reflection of your relationship it's just smart.

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