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14 month old- tantrums and won't eat

Fergie+1Fergie+1
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

To his credit, he's normally a very sweet, if not incredibly stubborn, boy. I think he may be teething two top molars after just getting in 2 bottom molars, so I'm trying to give him orajel and OTC infant pain relievers as needed... as wells as leeway with the tantrums and mood swings. BUT, he's throwing horrible fits when I try to feed him. As in, head-shaking, smacking the spoon/fork or throwing the food on the floor, screaming like I hurt him to the point of hyperventilation... over things he likes! And is easy to chew. I don't get how the same meal he had for dinner last night is all of a sudden poison that he must purge from his sight.

Both H and I are frustrated to the point that we're going to stop feeding him and make him wait until his next meal/snack when he does this.... We don't know what else to do. Tonight for his dinner he did this... worst meltdown yet. I tried to ignore it. Then play with him to see if I could change his mood. Then I ignored him for a few moments to see if he'd calm down... he got worse. I took him into another room and H slathered Orajel on his gums. I comforted and calmed him, then took him back to the dining room. I sat him in my lap, thinking maybe the highchair was the enemy and not the food- Annie's All Stars, which he loves!! (And ate yesterday with no issue.) As soon as he saw the spoon coming at him he started crying and flailing like I was the nurse with a shot. HORRIBLE. I gave up in frustration and gave him something else. Then when I put him to bed he cried himself to sleep, then woke up and cried himself to sleep again... no limbs stuck in the crib slats, no wet diaper/vomit/poop, not hot or cold... just piissed that he was going to bed. And yes, he was dosed with infant acetamenophen before eating.

I don't know how to handle him when he does this.

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Re: 14 month old- tantrums and won't eat

  • nosoup4unosoup4u member

    Does he feed himself? It's definitely easier (though messier) to let them feed themselves once they hit about 12 months. Making him wait for the next meal because he's having a tantrum will just make him hungrier and grouchier, IME (Seriously! My 4-year-old had an hour-long meltdown caused by barely eating dinner. He had a banana and PB with a glass of milk before bed tonight. Sigh).

    This woman has really good advice about feeding kids: https://www.ellynsatter.com/how-to-feed-i-24.html

    "Your almost-toddler may suddenly - or slowly over time - let you know that he wants to feed himself by refusing eat from the spoon, grabbing at it, and putting up a fuss when you try to feed him. Don't force or play games. Instead, let him feed himself."

    From here: https://www.ellynsatter.com/to-15-months-feeding-your-almost-toddler-i-30.html?osCsid=93186nk9p5kgpmk675a4o2fl16

     

     

     

     

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • AmericanInOzAmericanInOz member

    it sounds like his teeth are really  just bothering him

    dd didn't eat much when she was going through really painful teething as well

    just try to get him to eat and don't make a big deal out of it - maybe even let him graze a bit on other stuff during the day?

    as long as he gets milk he'll be ok for 2 weeks or so if he doesn't eat much, its fluid that they HAVE to have to get by

    you just don't want to make eating time something he dreads. If he screams when you put him the high chair and won't calm down, then I'd just take him out and move on.

    GL - you'll get through it!

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  • AmericanInOzAmericanInOz member
    imagenosoup4u:

    Does he feed himself? It's definitely easier (though messier) to let them feed themselves once they hit about 12 months. Making him wait for the next meal because he's having a tantrum will just make him hungrier and grouchier, IME (Seriously! My 4-year-old had an hour-long meltdown caused by barely eating dinner. He had a banana and PB with a glass of milk before bed tonight. Sigh).

    This woman has really good advice about feeding kids: https://www.ellynsatter.com/how-to-feed-i-24.html

    "Your almost-toddler may suddenly - or slowly over time - let you know that he wants to feed himself by refusing eat from the spoon, grabbing at it, and putting up a fuss when you try to feed him. Don't force or play games. Instead, let him feed himself."

    From here: https://www.ellynsatter.com/to-15-months-feeding-your-almost-toddler-i-30.html?osCsid=93186nk9p5kgpmk675a4o2fl16

     


     

     

     

    that is a BRILLIANT link - thank you!!! It explains it SO well and has great advice. I'm going to pass that on to my sister who is struggling with feeding her 10 month old. Thank you!
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  • MeesheMeeshe member
    I think they start to have a lot of control issues around this age.  They want to do what they want, when they want, how they want.  We had a huge meltdown last night because my DS (16 months) wants to feed himself, with silverware and his own bowl/plate.  Which is fine normally but last night it was chili and soups are pretty darn hard for him to feed himself.  He was so mad I wouldn't give him the bowl and spoon that he refused to eat anything else, throwing it on the floor, total meltdown that lasted for about 15-20 min.  After a few attempts I took away the food and turned his chair away from the table.  Every few minutes I would offer something again.  Finally but setting some beans from the chili on his tray so he could feed himself, I got him going and then he was fine happily eating it and feeding himself other things.  It can be very challenging.
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  • sweettea_and_peoniessweettea_and_peonies
    I agree with all of the tips above, but I also wanted to add that it might not hurt to take him to the dr just to check him out.  DD was acting like this and I blamed it on toddler-hood & teething, only to find out that she had strep.  She literally had NO other symptoms, but our neighbor mentioned her daughter had it and that maybe the acting out wasn't just being a toddler - sure enough, she was right.  Just thought I'd mention it just in case!
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