I need a hug...or a shot of tequila — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

I need a hug...or a shot of tequila

Maybe both...

I just got an email from one of my very best friends that started of, "OMG, I'm pregnant!" It was like a dagger to my heart. I've been struggling this week - I realized a couple of days ago that I should have been starting 2nd tri this weekend. She went on to say she had gone to the doctor because they had been trying for 4 months and nothing had happened. WTF, really?? Four months?? It took us 2 years to get pregnant with the one we lost. She was the only person, besides DH who knew I was pg; she had an ectopic at 12 weeks a couple of years ago, so you would think there might have been a little sensitivity in telling me. I know she's excited - I get it, I really do. And I'm really happy for her...and I'm really sad for me.

BFP 1/19/12 No heartbeat at 7w4d 3rd dose Cytotec 3/1/12
*PGAL/PAL Welcome*
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Re: I need a hug...or a shot of tequila

  • ((Big hugs))
    BFP #1: 12/5/11, M/C 12/19/11
    BFP #2: 5/22/12 Due 2/1/13 Baby girl born 2/2/13
  • Mmm79Mmm79 member

    Ugh.  I am so sorry and can totally empathize.   I probably would have cried.

    You deserve both the hug and the tequila.



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    BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
    BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12 
    BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13

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    ((HUGS)) My cousin told me this week she's KU. She couldn't have been more sensitive or caring, and it still sucked. I know how you feel. Drink up!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    My Blog: One Emerald
    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
  • I am sorry. It sucks when you hear news like that. Tequilla is definitely in order.
    BFP #1 11/27/11 EDD 08/08/12 M/C 01/27/12 12 wks 2 days
    BFP #2 04/25/12 EDD 01/04/13(?) confirmed ectopic 05/16/12 6 wks 5 days 2 doses of MTX-Lost left tube on 05/25/12 Back to TTC, earlier than originally expected.
    BFP #3 01/05/13 EDD 09/17/13 u/s 1/24/13-great appt, measuring 2 days ahead, NT scan 3/11/13-great scan measuring 4 days ahead, A/S 4/29/13-another great scan can't wait to meet my baby BOY!!!!!
    My Blog

    My Sweet (and Spoiled) Furbaby Cali
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    PgAL/PAL Welcome

  • Cheers!  And ((hugs))
    BFP #1: 10.28.11 - Natural M/C: 12.9.11 @9w3d
    BFP #2: 1.30.12 - missed m/c found on 2.27.12 - D&C 3.1.12 @8w 
    BFP #3: 1.02.13 / EDD 8.31.13 / It's a boy!  - Baby Henry born 8.14.13
    BFP #4: 9.28.14 / EDD 5.27.15 / It's a girl! 


  • ((hugs))

    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • *HUGS* and a lime wedge to go with your tequila!

    TTC since April 2010
    BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
    BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
    Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
    BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
    Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
    BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
    BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
    No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
    June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
    ~All AL always welcome~

  • I'm so sorry-  Hugs to you!  Do something special for yourself today!
    DD 9/2/13

  • Thinking of you! Now drink!
    photo AlbumsWideColorBump_zps1797df63.jpg

    We lost our first (EDD 07/23/12) after finding out at 12 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Our rainbow was born 05/22/13 and was worth all we went through.

    “So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I’m still young? I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before all this damage is done. But if it’s too much to ask, it’s too much to ask … Then send me a son.” – Arcade Fire
  • I'm so sorry! Don't feel bad for one second about the way you feel. ((hugs))


    I'll take one with ya!

    BFP 12/25/11 , 1st U/S @ 8wks diagnosed BO, 2/6/12 D&C,
    2/13/12 Partial Molar Pregnancy diagnosed
    Forced break for two cycles
    TTC June 2012

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    ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~
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  • kiki4kiki4 member
    Thank you... I knew you all would understand.
    BFP 1/19/12 No heartbeat at 7w4d 3rd dose Cytotec 3/1/12
    *PGAL/PAL Welcome*
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    My Ovulation Chart

  • ((hugs)) I'm so sorry you had to find out this way.
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/RLNGm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" /></a>


    BFP#3 ~ 2/21/2013 ~ EDD 11/3/2013 ~ Please, God, we love this baby so much already!

    Betas: (15dpiui) 262, (17dpiui) 568, (19dpiui) 1163 ~ u/s on 3/14

    Genetic testing and karyotyping dx: heterozygous MTHFR C677T and Factor 13

    (Lovenox, Baby aspirin and Folbic)

    BFP #2 ~ 7/20/2012 ~ EDD 3/31/2013 ~ HB at 6w4d ~ MMC on 8/16/12 at 7w4d ~ D&C 8/17/2012 - D&C results showed our baby boy had Triploidy

    BFP #1 ~ 1/15/2012 ~ EDD 9/22/2012 ~ MMC and D&C at 8w3d on 2/14/2012

    November 2011 diagnosed with atypical PCOS

    TTC since April 2011, TTC with IF treatment since December 2011

  • I am so sorry.  I know what you mean about being happy for them, but sad for yourself.  I am going through the same thing with my sister.  (((HUGE HUGS)))
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    TTC since 11/09; 5/11: lap (endometriosis-cleared), HSG (high pressure in tubes- cleared) and Hystoscopy (endocervical polyp - removed)

    8/5/11: BFP; 11/14/11: no heartbeat on US; 11/16/11: delivered my angel baby, 19w1d; 12/15/11: D&C

    PgAL/PAL Welcome

  • (((hugs)))

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.


    TTC since June 2011

    <a href="http://lagf.lilypie.com/MAwum4.png">BFP#1 7/8/11, EDD 3/15/12, M/C 8/21/11 (10w3d)</a>

    <a href="http://lagf.lilypie.com/9aomm4.png">BFP #2 2/9/12, EDD 10/22/12, M/C 2/17/12 (4w4d)</a>


    PGAL/PAL and kindness always welcome.
  • ct103ct103 member


    It stings, I know. I'm so sorry.

    "Bunny" EDD 6/21/12; Natural m/c 11/4/11 7wks1day

    Thank you for changing our lives forever.

    <a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=15ck842" target="_blank"><img src="http://i45.tinypic.com/15ck842.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>

    TTC since August 2010

    CD3 bloodwork= normal, CD21 bloodwork= low P4 (7.2), SA= normal

    Diagnosis= LPD

    Clomid 50mg + HcG Trigger+ Prometrium = BFP!!!!!!!!

    Beta #1= 53 @ 12dpo, Beta #2= 188, P4= 53

    8/28/12 u/s showing one perfect little babe measuring 6wks5days, hb 121bpm!!!!

    IT'S A GIRL!!!!! Grow Little T, grow!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt14eba1.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>

    [url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3af1bd]My BFP Chart[/url]

    "When you are intune with the unknown, the known is peaceful."

    All AL welcome, of course!
  • Ouch.  I would feel the same way :/  You totes deserve a hug, and the tequila, AND you deserve to be served said shot of tequila by Lil Jon and LMFAO while they sing "Shots."
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • *Hugs*
    image★´¯`•.¸¸.°¤TTCAL/PGAL/PAL Welcome,imageare not¤°.¸¸.•´¯`★image

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
    TTC Since September 2011
    BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
    BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
    BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
    BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
    BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 [email protected] showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT [email protected] looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!

  • imagePetraStonegirl:

    I brought enough for the class...

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    And ((hugs)).

    BFP #1 10/6/11 | EDD 6/15/12 | MMC 11/7/11 @ 8w3d | D&C 11/14/11

    BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13

    BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15

    BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d

    Just keep swimming.
  • Big, big (hugs)

    My Old Blog | My Chart | TTCAL Shenanigans
    ♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
    ♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
    ♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15♥
    All AL Always Welcome

  • Hugs, sweetie!  Maybe she thought you wouldn't feel so bad b/c she had had a loss too- but some people will never be sensitive enough to understand that.

    Much love and more hugs.

  • Kiki, I am so sorry.  That was really insensitive of her.  If I were you, I would talk to her about your needs in this situation.  It sounds like you are really close, and she will be pregnant for 9 months, so you can't let her keep hurting you.  She should have thought about how you would feel, but she didn't, and she should in the future--for everyone's benefit.  ((hugs))

  • Blah!  That probably felt like a sucker punch.  After the crazy day I had at work today, I'll join you and the others on that tequila!

    ~Licks salt, shoots tequila down, slurps lime~ "ahhhhh!"

    DS born 2009
    BFP#2 ~ 8/2/11, EDD 4/11/12, D&C 9/12/11 at 9w5d
    BFP#3 ~ 4/15/12, EDD 12/21/12 ~ DD born 12/22/12
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imageHopingforChange:
    Kiki, I am so sorry.  That was really insensitive of her.  If I were you, I would talk to her about your needs in this situation.  It sounds like you are really close, and she will be pregnant for 9 months, so you can't let her keep hurting you.  She should have thought about how you would feel, but she didn't, and she should in the future--for everyone's benefit.  ((hugs))

    Couldn't have said it better. I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) 

    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
  • I'm so sorry.  That was so insensitive.  I will join you in that tequila shot!
  • (((hugs))) I hope your friend realizes how cruel that was. I can just imagine. I would be instantly in tears.


    Married 07/17/2010
    Diagnosed with PCOS 10/20/2010 

    TTC since Oct 2010 
    BFP #1 March 31st 2011 Due December 10 2011 
    Missed m/c discovered June 2nd 2011 at 12w4d
    D&C scheduled June 7th 2011 at 13w2d
    Found out our baby boy had Triploidy XXY through embryopathology
    BFP #2 September 28th 2011 Due June 8th 2012
    Missed m/c discovered November 20th 2011 at 11w2d
    D&C November 29th 2011 at 12w4d
    Found out our baby girl had Monosomy X through embryopathology
    BFP #3 April 24th 2012 Due January 5th 2013
    Betas falling on 04/26/12 Chemical Pregnancy
    RPL testing done, multi nodular goiters on thyroid discovered.

    BFP #4 November 22nd 2012, Due August 5th 2013
    Betas: 17 @ 9dpo, 62 @ 11dpo, 124 @ 12dpo, 321 @ 14dpo 720 @ 16dpo 13,805 @ 23 dpo 
    First ultrasound at 6w3d, hb 122 bpm. 

    Second ultrasound at 7w3d hb 143 bpm 
    Third ultrasound at 10w1d hb 167-170 bpm 
    Forth ultrasound 12w1d hb 167 bpm 
    Graduated rpl program, moving on to regular ob! 
    It's a boy! 

    Little man was born August 1st 2013, 7lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches long

  • (((Hugs)))
  • *hugs*
  • I'm sorry.  Here's a ((hug)).  Now go get some liquor.
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lagf.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/bgLijgN.jpg" width="51" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie - Personal picture" /><img src="http://lagf.lilypie.com/bgLim5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers" /></a>


    My Ovulation Chart[/url] || [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Calendar[/url]

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    Me: 32 DH: 34
    TTC since January, 2011.
    1st time on Clomid during September, 2011 cycle
    BFP October 17, 2011. EDD June 21, 2012.
    Our son was born still at 19w3d on January 28, 2012 after a routine check showed that his heart stopped beating at 19w1d due to blood clotting issues.
  • I'm sorry you had such an emotional blow today. I hope she has a healthy pregnancy and through it she remembers to be more sensitive about where you're at on your journey. *hugs*

    TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012  BFP #2 on 10/28/2012  EDD of 7/13/13  Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.

    I love my rainbow baby!

  • (((HUGS)))
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    First BFP! 9/5/11- M/C 9wk5 1st U/S, no HB.
    Forever loved, little bug.

    Second BFP: 1/13/12. 2/13/12: Blighted Ovum diagnosis. Chromosomal testing showing complete tetraploidy. We'll miss you, little monkey and wish we could have known you. Two babies never to be in our arms, but always in our hearts.

    Third BFP: 5/4/12 EDD: 1/12/2013. Our rainbow baby, W, born 1/16/13 a healthy little boy!!! We love you honeybadger and are so so blessed to have brought you home!

    All "after loss" board ladies (PgAL, TTCAL, PAL, MC/PL) always welcome to post!
  • ugh, sorry about your friend! some tequila is definitely in order! 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'll have a tequila with you on that note! 4 months? really? come on. also I think she should have called you with the news & been more sensitive about it.  ((((hugs))))
    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

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  • Drinks ((hugs))
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • {{Huge Hugs}} Announcements are always hard. I am sorry she didn't find a more sensitive way to tell you.
    <div style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial, Verdana; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lmtm.lilypie.com/oJALm4.png" width="200" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Maternity tickers"></a>
    </div><div style="font-family: Arial, Verdana; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">
    </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial, Verdana; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">RE DX: Mild PCOS with irregular cycles and Male Factor Infertility (2% Morph)</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">BFP: #1 3/11/11 on cycle #14; EDD 11/15/11; M/M/C @ 12w 05/03/11; Baby K 9w; D&C 5/4/11</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">BFP: #2 6/28/12 on IVF cycle #1; EDD 3/13/13; ER 6/20/12, ET (2 embryos) 6/23/12, DS born 3/5/13 via cs.</span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">BFP: #3 3/24/15 on IVF cycle #2, EDD 12/7/15; ER 3/15/15, ET (2 embryos) 3/20/15</span></div></div>
  • lmao!! I totally feel ya hun! ((hugs))
    Trying to conceive since September 2011

    BFP #1, 10/2/11, C/P 10/5/[email protected]

    BFP #2, 10/28/11, Missed M/C @12weeks, D&C 12/30/11

    BFP#3 Jameson Robert was born on December 6, 2012 <3
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  • Sorry ((hugs))

    I finally had to say something to a friend who has been blowing up Facebook with posts about how sad she is about her maternity leave ending, how cute her kid is, how she can't believe it's wednesday (--almost the weekend to snuggle with my baby!!). I wasn't very nice, and apologized after the fact, but it went something like this,"At least you have a baby and a maternity leave." She got the point.

  • I'm late but sending you thoughts too!  That and a shot of something straight up!  Hang in there.
    TTC#1 since 3/2011; BFP#1 12.29.11 - m/c 1.27.12 at 8w4d

    4-6/2012 - 2 failed Clomid IUI's

    7/2012 - taking a TTC break = BFP#2! EDD 4.5.13 Grow Little Munchkin Grow!!

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  • That sucks.  Tequila all around.  {{hugs}}
    BFP#1 - 09/12/11, EDD 5/18/12 - Stopped growing at 6w3d, m/c induced 10/14/11
    BFP#2 - 04/01/12, EDD 12/12/12, Arrived 12/4/12!!
    BFP#3 - 12/31/13, EDD 09/10/14 - Grow baby, grow!

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