Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Do you still talk to your ex in-laws?
No, I don't talk to my XIL's. I've never liked my XFIL -- I think he's an awful person who makes poor life choices and it's just a matter of time before someone in his life suffers dearly because of it. My XMIL is a good person, I just don't talk to her. IMO, those are people who are part of my past life. They can maintain a relationship with DS through XH, not me. My new life is none of their business.
Ex's parents lived right next to us for our whole relationship. I can't say I was super close to them but obviously we built a relationship because we saw each other almost every day and they helped a ton for the first 1.5 years of my DS's life. When my ex started to indicate that he wanted to end our relationship I confided in his mom and asked her what she thought I should do. We had a couple of good conversations but when she realized it was over she wouldn't speak to me anymore. If we talked she would be completely closed and really not say anything to me. She made it very clear where her loyalty was. I know my ex told them a ton of bad things about me so that he could feel justified in leaving his fiance and little baby. And apparently they believed it all. When I moved out his sister deleted me on facebook and never has spoken a word to me since.
Ex's parents pick up and drop off DS a couple of days a week and I never talk to them. After the way they treated me I have no desire to ever speak to them or my ex again. As far as I'm concerned if my ex has anything to say to me he can speak to my attorney. I have been reading a book about blended families and it has addressed the issue that about half of all split families do what they call parallell parenting where the parents basically ignore eachother and do whatever they want with the child on their time. And sadly due to the circumstances of my split this is the way it will be for me. Like I said I have absolutely nothing to say to those people.
And part of the reason this parallel parenting will work for us is because I know ex so well and his family so well that I know when my DS is with them they will take good care of him. And I assume he feels the same way since he doesn't ever ask me what my parenting decesions are.
I only talk to my XILs when it pertains to my children. There was a time when I refused to deal with her because she was straight out rude to me. She apologized (at my XH's urging), I accepted, and we moved on.
No. They live about 700 miles away. They stopped all contact with the kids too. I send pictures every time I have them taken, the girls draw pics for Christmas gifts, but they never respond with a card or call so there's pretty much no relationship.
ha ha
This pretty much sums it up for me too.
I don't talk to XMIL anymore. XFIL barely talks anyways so I don't have to worry about him. Honestly, XH is probably at least partially the horrible person that he is because of her. She's an enabler to the utmost degree and it's absolutely naseauting. I'm sure she's convinced herself I am the evil one and XH was wronged by me.
I wouldn't address ANYTHING that didn't have to do with R. Nothing. And keep the email short and curt. "R is good. Weighed in at 30 lbs at the dr today" and things of that nature.
You are doing nothing wrong hun. If she wants to treat you this way then don't respond and cut her out of your life. You don't deserve this. And I understand his family being there for him but them being totally on his side isn't acceptable. If your not friends with your ex in laws then you have no need to talk to them. Just cause they have a relationship to Roman's horrible dad doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with them.