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Single Parents
Do you still talk to your ex in-laws?
XH's father passed away when he was 20 so I never had the chance to meet him, was also told he wasn't a man I'd want to meet anyways. He was the same exact person XH is now.
I will eventually have to talk to XH's grandmother as she will be the supervisor for visitation and I'm okay with that. She's rude to me but doesn't pry or get pushy. She's straight to the point even if she thinks I'm the 'bad guy'. For now ex is in prison for 8 more months so I need not concern myself with her, she never calls anyways. Only heard from her one time in the past 5 months.
My problem is XMIL. In my eyes she's a total fake. She's sugary sweet to me when she emails but I know she talks horribly about me behind my back. She keeps emailing me asking me why I never call her (why should I? If you want to see Roman you should call me.) She also has not called me since before I even divorced XH and has not seen Roman is almost 6 months except for when I brought R to visit his father in jail as she had to bring him in.
The thing is, I really have no reason to talk to her. I'm not required to unless there is an emergency regarding R. And usually when she emails she keeps asking details regarding the divorce, which is really none of her business. She refuses to give me any details regarding my X's hearings and sentencings. I have to call the jail for information and even they can be vague.
Should I just not respond to her emails any more? I find them pointless and rather annoying and she tends to overstep boundaries regarding my personal life. It also gets on my nerves she has not asked about her unborn granddaughter one single time. I just don't want it to look bad if for some reason X takes me to court after he gets out of jail. When I respond I ONLY talk about R and nothing else as my divorce and where I live is none of her business.
If you still talk to your ex in-laws how do you handle it? I truly don't want to talk to XMIL any more but I don't want it to backfire on me.
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Re: Do you still talk to your ex in-laws?
No, I don't talk to my XIL's. I've never liked my XFIL -- I think he's an awful person who makes poor life choices and it's just a matter of time before someone in his life suffers dearly because of it. My XMIL is a good person, I just don't talk to her. IMO, those are people who are part of my past life. They can maintain a relationship with DS through XH, not me. My new life is none of their business.
Ex's parents lived right next to us for our whole relationship. I can't say I was super close to them but obviously we built a relationship because we saw each other almost every day and they helped a ton for the first 1.5 years of my DS's life. When my ex started to indicate that he wanted to end our relationship I confided in his mom and asked her what she thought I should do. We had a couple of good conversations but when she realized it was over she wouldn't speak to me anymore. If we talked she would be completely closed and really not say anything to me. She made it very clear where her loyalty was. I know my ex told them a ton of bad things about me so that he could feel justified in leaving his fiance and little baby. And apparently they believed it all. When I moved out his sister deleted me on facebook and never has spoken a word to me since.
Ex's parents pick up and drop off DS a couple of days a week and I never talk to them. After the way they treated me I have no desire to ever speak to them or my ex again. As far as I'm concerned if my ex has anything to say to me he can speak to my attorney. I have been reading a book about blended families and it has addressed the issue that about half of all split families do what they call parallell parenting where the parents basically ignore eachother and do whatever they want with the child on their time. And sadly due to the circumstances of my split this is the way it will be for me. Like I said I have absolutely nothing to say to those people.
And part of the reason this parallel parenting will work for us is because I know ex so well and his family so well that I know when my DS is with them they will take good care of him. And I assume he feels the same way since he doesn't ever ask me what my parenting decesions are.
I only talk to my XILs when it pertains to my children. There was a time when I refused to deal with her because she was straight out rude to me. She apologized (at my XH's urging), I accepted, and we moved on.
No. They live about 700 miles away. They stopped all contact with the kids too. I send pictures every time I have them taken, the girls draw pics for Christmas gifts, but they never respond with a card or call so there's pretty much no relationship.
ha ha
This pretty much sums it up for me too.
I don't talk to XMIL anymore. XFIL barely talks anyways so I don't have to worry about him. Honestly, XH is probably at least partially the horrible person that he is because of her. She's an enabler to the utmost degree and it's absolutely naseauting. I'm sure she's convinced herself I am the evil one and XH was wronged by me.
I wouldn't address ANYTHING that didn't have to do with R. Nothing. And keep the email short and curt. "R is good. Weighed in at 30 lbs at the dr today" and things of that nature.
You are doing nothing wrong hun. If she wants to treat you this way then don't respond and cut her out of your life. You don't deserve this. And I understand his family being there for him but them being totally on his side isn't acceptable. If your not friends with your ex in laws then you have no need to talk to them. Just cause they have a relationship to Roman's horrible dad doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with them.