I just want to be treated like every other PG lady

crystalknpp · March 2012

I'm so tired of being treated differently because of my loss history. We had dinner with DH's family last night and any time we talked about future things with the baby (shower,names, nursery, etc.) My FIL would cut me off and tell me he was worried we would jinx things. Then my SIL was drunk after the St. Patty's day parade and proceeded to tell her friend all about my losses, surgeries, etc. She was talking about it like she was talking about the weather.

It was awful and uncomfortable and I'm just tired of other people treating me like at any moment something bad is going to happen. My FIL made a comment that he thinks my reccurent bad luck and losses are a little to coincidental and maybe was mother natures way of trying to tell us something and that he's just paranoid to get to attached. WTH??? So because "mother nature" took 4 babies from me she's trying to say that I'm not meant to be a mom? We left last night and I broke down to DH and just started crying in the car.

If DH and I can finally let our guards down some and let ourselves be excited and plan for this baby after the h*ll we've been through then why can't other people let us do that? I'm so grateful everyday for my family because from day one with every pregnancy they have been nothing but supportive and excited. I don't know what I'd do without them or without you girls!

Missa_g · March 2012

Ugh, that is not cool at all. I'm sorry your in laws just don't get it. I'm glad that at least your family, your DH, and you are getting excited.

damabo80 · March 2012

Ugh. Not cool.

Since its mostly DH's family that pulling the Debbie downer act, I'd ask him to talk to his family and keep the comments like that to themselves. You guys know the risks, but being reminded about them at every turn is annoying.

crystalknpp · March 2012

damabo80:

Ugh. Not cool.

Since its mostly DH's family that pulling the Debbie downer act, I'd ask him to talk to his family and keep the comments like that to themselves. You guys know the risks, but being reminded about them at every turn is annoying.

Exactly. I think that's the biggest thing is that I'm nervous enough without the constant reminders of all that could go wrong. DH and I are finally feeling a little more secure and comments like that make things worse not better. It's like they think that it's some how possible for me to forget all the sh*t we've been through to get here.

adoxyinherear · March 2012

Ugh, what a terrible thing for your FIL to say!! I am so sorry. I think your faith and optimism in this baby will have to wear off. *hugs*

rock-elle · March 2012

Thats awful, I think you doubly deserve to feel excited and have the support of the important people in your life, not jabs and drunken gossip.

xoladiebug · March 2012

First of all, don't ever deny yourself the happiness and joys you're meant to experience with pregnancy. That's our whole motto - "Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby". I'd be interested in knowing how they think you should be acting with regards to your pregnancy? Once you become a mommy you'll probably spend the rest of your life worrying about your child. Does that mean you should never celebrate or exhibit hope and joy for fear of jinxing something? It just doesn't make sense to me!

I think what would help is if your husband takes some of the burden and approaches his family about their behavior. They need to realize that you both need positive reinforcement and that they can't protect you guys from hurt.

I hope things get better for you guys ((hugs))

FavJob=Mommy · March 2012

xoladiebug:
First of all, don't ever deny yourself the happiness and joys you're meant to experience with pregnancy. That's our whole motto - "Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby". I'd be interested in knowing how they think you should be acting with regards to your pregnancy? Once you become a mommy you'll probably spend the rest of your life worrying about your child. Does that mean you should never celebrate or exhibit hope and joy for fear of jinxing something? It just doesn't make sense to me!
I think what would help is if your husband takes some of the burden and approaches his family about their behavior. They need to realize that you both need positive reinforcement and that they can't protect you guys from hurt.
I hope things get better for you guys ((hugs))

Beautiful said. Puts so many things in perspective!

csquared426 · March 2012

OMG hun, that is so not cool. Can you limit the time that you spend with your IL's? I would just tell DH that you don't want to see them until they can be supportive and on board with your PG and be happy for you guys!

((HUGS))

amyrdz522 · March 2012

that is not cool

I am sorry that you have to deal with that. I wish they could just be excited for you. ((hugs))

Eveanyn · March 2012

I'm sorry everyone's being so un-cool about this! They should be excited if you're excited. If you want to talk about the nursery, names, themes, etc. then by God they'd better jump in that conversation with gusto! It's very insensitive of them to treat you so differently.

angelacarmen · March 2012

This is terrible behavior from your ILs, agreed DH should have a word with them. On my end it's actually my family who are being insensitive, they don't know we're expecting yet (only 4.5 weeks along), so I've just sent my mom and email telling her to lay off. As someone else said, easier to do with your own family than with your DH's fam. Hugs to you, to all of us and our LOs, and be excited!! You're going to be a mommy!!!!

chusum · March 2012

I think this is pretty normal. Everyone was on their tippy toes around me asking me if I was OK in the beginning. Eventually people will start treating you normal.

I'm sorry they were so insensitive, allow yourself to be excited! Jinxing is for the birds!

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