Eventhough I'm pregnant SIL is still annoying!

watkinae · March 2012

A little background....my brother (6 yrs younger) and now SIL had a surprise BFP a couple years ago. After having my nephew they got married. Shortly after their wedding DH and I started TTC. Pretty much from the beginning every time we saw them SIL would ask if we were TTC. I was honest and told her yes. Fast forward a year and a half and we still weren?t pregnant. A couple days after getting a negative beta from IUI #2 I find out from a not so secretive status update on facebook that they?re pregnant again. Had my beta been positive we would?ve been due a couple weeks apart. I took this pretty hard, especially considering they aren't in a good financial place to bring another mouth to feed into the picture.

So, this past weekend was my nephew?s 2^nd b-day party. That evening when it was just SIL and I, she was going on and on about how she didn?t think it was going to happen the first month (which I have heard every time we?ve seen them since getting their BFP) and how my brother must have super swimmers. Then I kid you not, the next thing out of her mouth is ?.are you guys still trying? How can she be so insensitive? Can she really be that clueless to not think that I may be having a hard time with the fact that they get pregnant at the drop of a hat and we needed assistance? I'll love my neice once she's here, but don't care to hear about how quickly she was conceived.

We were waiting until the 12 week ultrasound to tell the rest of our family, so I just said yeah, it will happen when it happens. Then she went back to talking about herself. Part of me doesn't even want to tell her that I'm pregnant and just show up with a belly the next time that I see them. Ugh, vent over?

nancyjane5150 · March 2012

Frustrating!!! Most people just don't get it!! Hugs!

moosegal · March 2012

That would really annoy me, too! I really love my SIL and she's been very supportive with everything we've been through. However, she has 2 kids -- one was a surprise when she was on BCP and the other they conceived on their first attempt. She knows I'm pregnant, but she still doesn't seem to understand why I'm so worried about things.

There's just something about the super fertiles that they can't comprehend how pregnancy could be difficult to attain or not worry about. I hope it gets easier to deal with your SIL!

TJ1979 · March 2012

Ugh, I'm sorry, that totally sucks. Hopefully you don't have to see her again until 12 weeks. And if you want to keep your secret from her - you do it! It's none of her business anyhow. She seems to caught up in herself anyhow to worry about you.

krismott25 · March 2012

eww. don't you wish it was your real sister so you could punch her in her arm. yea i know childish but i so would.

watkinae · March 2012

krismott25:
eww. don't you wish it was your real sister so you could punch her in her arm. yea i know childish but i so would.

OMG, my thoughts exactly! She would have a pretty sore arm from all the rude comments she's made over the years. They came to visit shortly after this BFP and I endured a night of her explaining how an egg gets fertilized and her asking if we were still trying. The next day we went out to dinner and when I got up to go to the bathroom, she asked DH if we were still trying and told him he needs to have a talk with his little swimmers. His swimmers are fine, but imagine if that was our problem....way to punch a man in the balls.

If this were my real sister I would have no problems telling her how thoughtless and rude she is, but since it's my SIL I feel the need to just keep it to myself and make nice.

moosegal · March 2012

watkinae:
krismott25:
eww. don't you wish it was your real sister so you could punch her in her arm. yea i know childish but i so would.

OMG, my thoughts exactly! She would have a pretty sore arm from all the rude comments she's made over the years. They came to visit shortly after this BFP and I endured a night of her explaining how an egg gets fertilized and her asking if we were still trying. The next day we went out to dinner and when I got up to go to the bathroom, she asked DH if we were still trying and told him he needs to have a talk with his little swimmers. His swimmers are fine, but imagine if that was our problem....way to punch a man in the balls.

If this were my real sister I would have no problems telling her how thoughtless and rude she is, but since it's my SIL I feel the need to just keep it to myself and make nice.

Can you talk to your brother and tell him to pass along the message??

interzone · March 2012

watkinae:
If this were my real sister I would have no problems telling her how thoughtless and rude she is, but since it's my SIL I feel the need to just keep it to myself and make nice.

You shouldn't feel this way! Rude and thoughtless is rude and thoughtless, no matter where it comes from. Maybe it would only take one firm talking to for her to learn to mind her mouth. I found that when I talked to an in-law about a non-IF problem she took it more seriously coming from me than she did when DH brought up the same issue.

Also, congrats and hugs on your BFP. I would sooo keep that wonderful tidbit from her as long as possible!

watkinae · March 2012

interzone:

watkinae:
If this were my real sister I would have no problems telling her how thoughtless and rude she is, but since it's my SIL I feel the need to just keep it to myself and make nice.

You shouldn't feel this way! Rude and thoughtless is rude and thoughtless, no matter where it comes from. Maybe it would only take one firm talking to for her to learn to mind her mouth. I found that when I talked to an in-law about a non-IF problem she took it more seriously coming from me than she did when DH brought up the same issue.

Also, congrats and hugs on your BFP. I would sooo keep that wonderful tidbit from her as long as possible!

I know, but they don't live nearby, so the only time that I see them is when they are staying with us or we are staying with them for the weekend. Having a discussion like that is weird when you have to spend the rest of the weekend with them. Like moosegal mentioned maybe I should talk about it with my brother.

hoping4more · March 2012

Ugg so annoying. The worst one I got was from a BIL who has 3 kids and knew we were struggling. I asked to hold his baby and he snipped at me "maybe you should just have your own". I ran to the bathroom and cried. I never got an appology and that was 3 years ago. We are now FINALLY pregnant via surrogacy and no one will know for awhile.