Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mamastich
member
Single mama - beautiful baby - learning to live
Single mama - beautiful baby - learning to live
Re: Going to work full-time ??
I have always worked full time and I have two kids. They started daycare when the were 1 year old (I was able to have family watch them before this).
No, I don't feel guilty. Both kids love their daycare and I love having a job that allows me to support my family on my own.
Sorry you're going through this, it's not easy.
My ex ended our 7yr relationship and asked me to leave when DD was 2.5 and DS was 5 weeks old. I was on maternity leave and had one week to find an apartment and get moved before I had to go back to work (I couldn't kick him out, I couldn't afford the apartment myself). My kids stayed with an in-home sitter while I worked because she was cheaper than a center and it was all I could do while paying for groceries, gas and rent/utilities. In the beginning before I was smart enough to file for CS, ex paid half of childcare costs. Fun things were free things
To answer your questions, DS was 6 weeks old when I went back to work. I pumped at work and he was EBF for 3 more months and we had our evenings and weekends to snuggle. I never felt guilty for providing for my kids, instead I felt proud. 6 months later I landed a better job, and 6 months after that I bought our home.
Is the promotion enough to get you out on your own? Or would you be able to continue working part time and stay with your mom, but take some courses to help you in your career? GL!
I starting working full time a week after DS was born. My sister watched him because she was a SAHW. Then she got a job and my niece watched him during the summer, and then my mom watched him after the summer was over. He is going into a daycare in a month. He is almost two by the way. I have been very lucky that I have had a fortunate enough family that has helped me out, but now I feel like he needs to be around more kids. I do feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with him, but when I do its awesome (or at least I try to make it awesome). Since my son is an only child I can tell he gets soo bored not being around children, so sometimes I feel guilty about that too.
I guess there was no advice in there besides everything is a learning process with kids!
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I have always worked F/T except for the 12 weeks I was on maternity leave. EX was unemployed so he watched DD during the day for maybe 2 months after I returned to work, but when I found out he was doing nothing but drinking and getting high etc I kicked him out and put DD in daycare and we haven't looked back. She was about 5 months old, and from day one she loved being there. I would have loved to spend more time with her as an infant, but at this toddler stage it's a relief to drop her off some days. She is exhausting! LOL
I went back to work FT when my DS was 7 weeks old, and it really bothered me. At the time, I was living with my mom, not getting any child support, I made too much for any type of assistance, but not enough to do it on my own.
My mom did watch him for me until he was about 10 months old, but it wasn't without complaints daily so it made that first year kind of rough. I finally started getting child support just before his first birthday and was able to get him in a really good daycare, but I lost my job at the end of April and spent 4 months unemployed. Honestly, that was the best 4 months of my life. I got some excellent bonding time with him, but I was also able to reflect on how I might be missing out on some things when I do work, but the ability to be self-sufficient made me feel good, and it's something I can pass on to him as he gets older.
I've been back to work FT since September, I was able to move out of my mom's in December. I'm hoping to get enrolled in school in the next few weeks if all my FAFSA and registration stuff gets straightened out, and that will be mostly online based.
hang in there, and just remember you are doing your best with what you are given. a bit of guilt is normal and to be expected, but don't beat yourself up over anything.
Thank you!
I think I can manage going full time and only putting her in daycare 2 days a week. I may put it off another month.
I know Im lucky to be able to just pay what I can to my mom but I know she is struggling. She watches DD whenever she can but she has a life and a full time job. I have sometime to explore my options so Im going to.
I love the positve perspective I can have if i choose too